Tag:

Illnesses

suicide, but not yet ii

by yagharek 8/9/2014

written by yagharek

The difficult thing with the not-yet part, is the illness. Illnesses. Just because I’ve informed the committee that there will be a delay, the pain doesn’t vanish. It gets alleviated somewhat by the placatory there there, one day it’ll be over …but there are still major episodes and major episodes don’t give a fuck about listening, they just scream.

But I can probably do it. Hopefully.

The world is not seeming sweeter as a result. Colours are not brighter. By the time I can go, there won’t even be any goodbyes to say. Does that make me luckier or unluckier than you, who will create anguish […]

8/9/2014 2 comments

from feelinglost

by feelinglost 6/6/2013

written by feelinglost

hi,

I’m new to this site. I was going through a hard time and subconsciously started to look at suicide related links, which lead me here.

I’ve had depression, bulimia and other illnesses like insomnia for about eleven years now. Although I tried and failed to commit suicide about five years ago, I’m generally a cheerful person and eight years with a good counsellor has lead me a long way.

I still have problems holding a job down, but the biggest blow is that the one love I’d been with for five years told me recently thatÂ he is marrying someone else. I have no choice but to respect […]

6/6/2013 1 comment

I’ve made my choice

by almp 6/2/2013

written by almp

I’m nearing my end and I have so few words to say. After all these years of dealing with PTSD from my first suicide attempt,borderline personality disorder and various other illnesses that have earned me the humiliating title of “insane”. After years of humiliation and abuse for being the gay goth chick, being turned down for every job, and being shat upon at every turn. After relapsing over and over again and after losing most of the quality of my life, I’ve decided to take my own life and put an end to the misery that probably won’t get better. It’s taken a lot of […]

6/2/2013 2 comments

I am so alone.. I can’t take this.

by abby 2/18/2013

written by abby

I am so so so suicidal. I don’t know what to do anymore, honestly. I know there are others out there who have gone through worse then me, or feel similar things. but it’s like, the people who should care the most about me don’t. No one does. Even my best friend. When I try venting to them, I swear I just come off as whiny. and I have random people always saying, ‘Im here for you!’ and I apprecate that, but it’s not the same.

maybe I don’t want to be saved? I feel as if I was born for self destruction. Yoou know? It’s […]

2/18/2013 3 comments

Number two on the list.

by eyegoespop 2/4/2013

written by eyegoespop

So number two, my grandad.

I’ve already mentioned him briefly but I shall give you a bit more detail.
He was always ill, but it never seemed to phase him. I think in total he suffered 2 strokes, 1 “mini” stroke, a heart attack, several ongoing illnesses and probably some other things. For about the last five years he has been in about out of hospital and nursing homes for people recovering but he never really did recover. As well as being ill we think he had dementia, he often forgot where he was, who we were and even our names. That hurt, a lot. But anyway […]

2/4/2013 4 comments

my pathetic, lonely life. thus far.

by DarkStar 10/16/2012

written by DarkStar

This one’s pretty long, sorry if I bore anyone. I should preface by saying that I’ve been depressed for four years. I was formally diagnosed with major depressive disorder January of this year, but I knew long before. I’ve never had a true friend, anything even close to a relationship (been led on a few dozen times), and I feel alone constantly. Recently my diagnosis was changed to suggest the cause of my pain is ADD. I’m not sure if the doctors are right, but amphetamines are helping a bit lately. This is the story of the last eight months or so, from the first […]

10/16/2012 2 comments

the suicide project

by n sydney bipolar 9/16/2012

written by n sydney bipolar

I have tried it, it has left me with lasting chronic pain and other side effects and frankly, not only do I wish I’d completely succeeded, I wish my naive mother had had a convenient termination when she learned the dismaying news. In the mid 1960s. So I’ve been stepping this tortured fucking polka awhile.

I think this is the Christian site and I am a Christian (or at least I claim I am, although I guess I’m about the world’s shittiest one………..me or a certain US-Egyptian low budget film-maker). Well, the Word says: “Be in the world but not of it.”

I’ve never been really “of” […]

9/16/2012 0 comment

I’m just going to write…

by JustIt 9/5/2012

written by JustIt

I’m just going to write and I’m not going to bother writing well. I know I will die of suicide, I just know it, since i was 12 i had a bet on with myself that i wouldn’t make it past nineteen, so just two years to go and it should be over. I’m not even going to bother going through all the shit I have been through, starting when i was four years old, and yet i tell people it all the time for the joy of seeing their faces. I’ve been raped and abused both sexually and emotionally (suprisingly the emotional abuse is […]

9/5/2012 4 comments

Ramblings of a Tweaking Sulk

by uprooted 8/18/2012

written by uprooted

I seem to stumble on this website at the oddest hours of night.Â

It’s only 4:43AM, and I can’t sleep. This is a self induced insomnia. For the first time in ages I scored Adderall and I felt like myself this evening. All good things come to an end, I’m facing the enviable come down. Maybe it’s my brain reeling from the dopamine flood it just endured. I’ve just gotten to thinking that being a depressed addict is probably one of the worst illnesses in the world. Use to live, and when the dope runs out, curl up and die.

It makes me nostalgic. I miss when […]

8/18/2012 3 comments

April of this year…

by ShamanGarrett 7/8/2012

written by ShamanGarrett

I’ll start from the beginning. I had a close, dear friend basically called him my brother. Xain, he was always there for me through thick and thin and would fight tooth and nail to keep me happy. He fell in love with me(this isn’t the root of the story) and I told him how i felt but kept him as a friend none the less and let him flirt how he wants. He was wiccan and openly gay, as a christian who was raised to love all I judged him not. He was adopted from Ireland when his druggie of a mother had him hooked […]

7/8/2012 0 comment

Happy Birthday

by meditativerose 5/21/2012

written by meditativerose

I have been suffering from depression for most of my life.Â I am also anorexic and bulimic.Â I’ve been dealing with the consequences of my illnesses, including stomach ulcers, amenorrhea, and anemia.Â My body is shutting down, but I don’t care.Â In fact, this is kind of what I wanted.Â Slowly, but surely, I’m going to die.Â My disorders reassure this motive.Â Today is also my birthday.Â Guess my wishes are coming true.

5/21/2012 3 comments

I’m at a loss of words.

by Selfish916 5/2/2012

written by Selfish916

I have this friend, he’s awesome. And sometimes I actually let him in, emotionally. I don’t do that to anybody. I hide my feelings fairly well unless instigated. He’s getting fed up with my lack of concern towards myself. I wish I could just be like, “I’m really just venting, let me freak out. It’s fine, I’m not going to cut up.”. But alas here I am, getting all guilted up because I can’t change who I am. I’m completely worthless. Don’t try to tell me I’m not, I know the truth. I can’t literally remember a moment that didn’t end in guilt or shame. […]

5/2/2012 6 comments