Its been approximately a year since I’ve posted .In that time I’ve had alot of time to think and reflect.I’ve discovered alot about myself.as all of.you dont know I despise myself.I hate myself.I look in the mirror everyday and hate what I see.im only ever good for hurting other people.thinking back to when everything first began for me I already knew that all thats happened to me up until now was gonna happen.you see everyone follows their own paths in life.some not always good.you decide what path,journey,what road you will walk.me?I chose this path knowing that I’d end up alone.I knew that I’d come to […]
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I keep getting these constant fears that im going to end up all alone and it seems like it might be true.in 10 years will my parents even be alive and were will I be if there not here to take care of me.im going completely insane cause Ive never worked.i don’t do college . I’ve never been in a relationship nor is anyone even remotely interested in me.no kids.im disabled I want to die but am a coward who cant find the strength to jump off a bridge and the only other thing ive ever tried is overdose . everyone says im doing well […]
family and friends repeat the same words, “itll get better, itll pass with time, this is just temporary” but it isnt, they dont understand how much pain ive been in, and when i get up to do something about my sadness im told im crazy, why would i do that, maybe i am crazy, but im trying yo find my happiness, what im doing now, the journey i took over the holiday week, i may not come back alive, but i am reaching out and trying to grasp my happiness, wish me luck, if this is my last post then that means i did not […]
why is it that whenever someone says they care or that they love me, i break out into tears. its like its so hard for me to accept it and to believe it that when someone tells me they care about me; it makes me feel so good and sad and happy because i feel like ive never been cared for. im not even sure how to describe it. i hope you guys understand what im trying to say/how i feel.
All my life has contained of happy children and families.When I see them I can’t help but feel jealous.They seem so happy while my family acts like I wasn’t born.I wish my life could go back to normal like when I was little,we would spend every waking hour together but now we are lucky to spend 5 seconds together.After my grandfather died on January 31 2013, I have felt so alone and lost.I have tried so many times to be someone im not because I have no one to look up to and no one to help guide the way.I changed my hair […]
Hi everyone! Soo for starters, I’m not really sad or depressed, tho i’ve struggled with that a lot in the past. I’m not mentally ill or delusional, at least i don’t think lol? I’m 19, considered really pretty, i have friends, plenty if guys to date, and a wonderful amazing family i love to bits.
But I really want to die. My reasons are complicated and really personal and paaartially to with unchangeable stuff in my life but basically i’m just…done. I don’t think there’s much more i can gain from living this life anymore and i figure whatever comes next even if its complete oblivion […]
I dont understand 🙁
I feel like im useless, all i want is to be successful.. People say that if you work hard enough and invest yourself fully in what you want that you will be successful but what about the hobo on the corner? He wanted to be an artist and spent all his money on his art and droped out of school to proceed his pasion.. He failed.. And he gave it his all.. How do i know that wont be me?
I think’ve never introduced myself before… i apologize if i acted a kind bitter before… i was just in the phase ” i’ve passed through worse things, what is this person complaing about?”… i’ve realized that this was of no help.
Well, i’m from brazil, i don’t speak English perfectly as most of you’ve noticed already, i like poetry, art and also I’m passionate with the nature. Im yrs old and also an actor.
I wanna die because live has been a ***** with me.. so many sad things. and also i feel no one cares to the pain that is in my heart, i’ve been abused countless […]
Its been around two weeks since i started starvation, this is definetely not a way to go if you want to go peacefully, my body weight is at an all time low, my body is weak and any physical task is hell. Keeping composure at work and acting normal is the hardest of task. Im not sure if im hallucinating due to it, theres always something there edging me on to just finish myself off faster. I often find myself speaking to it or myself, my memories are a bit faded and does not feel like my own. The depression and anxiety remains strong. I […]
So I’m only 12, nearly 13. I feel like dying each day. No one knows I want to die. I darnt say anything incase of being called an attention seeker. Some of my friends know I self harm:( they are always there for me. I’m really self conscious, like I don’t like people looking at me. It’s because I’m pretty fat and ugly. I hate the way I am. I try to change but I can’t. Most people seem to hate me because I’m different, I have bright coloured hair, I’m quiet, I’m not out goibg im clever, I’m different. IM FULL BLOWN WEIRD. Everyone’s […]
No point in living im am just giving up but I cant do it cause I can’t live with out her but I don’t even know if she still likes me we took a break and we still haven’t talk since its been about 3 weeks. When I first met her I was thinking about killing my self but we become good friends and then we dated she saved my life she never knew I was feeling like that cause I was scared to tell her. I don’t know what to do and my old feelings are coming back about ending it all. ;(
I just can’t do life anymore. I need help, I want to die. I don’t want to be on earth anymore. Im so scared though. I don’t know what to do. someone, please
I dont know any of you guys, nor do I know your story/history. I know pain in life has brought us all here.I want everyone of you guys to know I love you and hope that peace love and happiness finds a way in your hearts and minds. We all here seem to be sick, hurt, lonely crippled goods.life has a way of beating the shyt out you.Just know whatever you ve done, whatever you do ,know that I really do care.Im sorry you guys are hurting I really wish it was some way that this was a place of peace amd love for everyone.since […]
Why since we ve been on this planet do we treat one another so bad? All through out history is rape, murder, slavery, war, starvation. So why is it considered a blessing to live?The things we suffer as individuals is nothing really when compared to all that life has dished out to all that has lived.Are we here to further insure that this madness continues .we complain about our individual lives , but what about this blessing called life.Im sickened by the whole history of man.If this is a blessing I would hate to see a curse.when does the madness end? Although I been very […]
i have none… no friends… not a single one that i can talk to or go hang out with regularly… my friends that i use to have dont speak to me anymore… 4 of them are dead… 2 died by suicide. 1 by heart failure. and 1 by motorcycle accident… im all alone… ive never really been a social person… i dont know how to make friends. im out of school and living with my careless bf and his family… im 18 years worth of nothingness… almost 19… *sigh* i fucking hate everybody i know… i wish to know someone else…
just tried partial suspension again, but even that i could not go on. it just felt weird and it always seems like i’m dreaming, then i’m hyperventilating and shaking a lot and kind of wake up, hoping that it was all just a bad, horrible dream, only to realize it is not.
not sure if im doing it properly, tho.
will it ever get easier ?
ive tried many things to bring myself out if this dark place.
its like im stuck and every horrible thing is on replay.
and i just want the thoughts to stop.
maybe killing myself will make it all better.
write a note saying its not my families fault.
that i was just sad unhappy with the person ive become.
im fat , alone , suicidal , and just want to disappear for a while.
i want to be forgotten when i die so my family wont be sad.
i just want it to get better.
Depression hits you hard in the face its like a hard slap. However hard you try to not let it get you down it still will and it will drag you harder and faster down that deep black hole, people will tell you how easy it is to get you out the hole and that life gets better but ive been a good person yet still nothing good has came my way im just gonna be alone all my life and no one should give a shit because im not a person anyone should waste their time on i just need to leave this awful […]
i can’t stop crying. the thoughts are never going to go away.
i question why i feel this way because i have it way better than most people do,
i have a home , a bed , clothes , food , but i just feel so shitty and utterly worthless.
im afraid that im just gunna fail in life and what sucks the most is i have nobody.
i dont need friends but sometimes its just nice to have someone to understand you and
just listen. being alone just sucks.
What am i supposed to do with these horrible thoughts swirling around in my mind ?
It makes me feel like im going insane. No one gets me or understands my feelings.
I used to cut myself and since ive stopped i cant seem to shake the urging want , and
need to relapse. Ive tried to tell my parents but they just kinda blew it off. Everyday i think
about killing myself in MANY different ways but something is keeping from doing it. The little
fucking voices in my head are yelling at me and saying just do it , just kill yourself there’s […]