Had to take a break from the world…. now im back talking and seeing people!! Its going to be my tio’s anniversary friday 5 years when he left this world
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im
so..i’ve really fucked up my life. i’m only 14 years old and what can i say about my life? I’m a teenage girl who smokes cigarettes and gets high with her friends almost every day. i self harm (which i started again today :/) and my friends dont even really like me unless they can smoke at my house.
i’m literally so far gone. i just don’t even know what to do anymore.
you know how they say life is a highway? mine’s a dead end. and i’m ready to give up.
right now, it’s late where i am, but i dont sleep anymore. my sleep is filled […]
im awfully depressed and lonely so if anyone else feels the same heres my email: cinderlilah2@gmail.com I know it’s a stupid email – don’t judge me, I made it when I was nine. So yeah, please talk to me.
im 17 years old, im not gonna lie ive had a great life good friends, family that love me, i apprecate it all, but i really want to die i just dont want to live i have no reason to kill myself but i feel the need to i feel worthless, alone and ive been sitting in my room for 5 hours now really thinking about just doing it, i have a rope set in my room ready to go, all i have to do is move and ill be gone forever, before i go please someone tell me is it just me who wants […]
As you can tell from the title this post is about society. Im just writing to say what do you people think about an age gap in relationships. Society doesn’t see anything wrong with a 26 year old going with a 22 year old yet a 17 year old going out with a 13 year old is wrong and nasty. Just wondering what you think about it as a close friend said they really like someone who is 3 years older than them but doesnt want to ask them as she thinks it’s wrong? I see this to but surely it’s no different from a […]
I have been in a battle with myself for about 2 years. Ever since I was 9 my family has told me that I need to lose weight because im fat. Yeah a 9 year old should lose weight. I’m actually not fat at all but I’m still in a battle to lose weight. i strain myself to work out. I know what you’re thinking just find someone to talk to. Well guess what I don’t have anyone. My mom never listens to me when I try to talk to her about my day or something she completely tunes me out. She has some “mental […]
I could lie and say that everything gets better and life is amazing but that wouldn’t help. 3 Days ago I made a decision to take my own life, I bought a bunch of painkillers and vodka and thought I wanted to die… it didn’t work and I spent 2 days in the hospitals poison ward attached to a drip with a needle sticking outta my hand, I had to listen to my families reaction over a phone call and it killed me having to hear what I did to them, I will never forget the sounds of my mum crying, not knowing what happened. […]
our life is together
our life has been forever
our time is never
never ending
places to go, things to do
words to speak
songs to sing
tears to cry
i tried so hard to make you proud of me
all i want is your love
im so alone
and so sad without you
am i dying?
i need you
i need my family
i just want to be happy
I punched me in the head really hard but not hard enough im not brave to punch me hard enough to cause concussion
so yeah, its been one long time since ive been on here but yeah, imm still kicking… barely. within the time spent from my previous posts my life has hit an all time low, my recent fuck up has left me with not a single friend honestly, and im not just saying that i have 6 contacts in my phone all of which are family nobody has the ever so slightest inclination to talk to me ive failed two suicide attempts and no longer have the drive to continue whatsoever. i am being bullied so bad i cant put it into words and yet […]
death I don’t fear life is a pain ive dragged on too long death I think I almost embrace it like its not something to be scared of I just wanna wrap my arms around it cause its a part of life I wouldn’t be missed so why not sped up the process and help death realize its dream to just kill me cause if it doesn’t I will kill myself like whats the point if u have no one every walks out of your life at the time u need it the most im tired of all the pain im afflicted by it hurts […]
i dont think i should even feel so bad. but im deppresed. i feel like im falling falling or rolling downhill painfully and it sucks. i can barely avoid the thoughts of suicide, when im eating, with friends, trying to sleep or any other moment at all. i just cant keep them out. im so afraid ill start to like them and eventually ACTUALLY love the thought of death. whats barely holding me in place is a caring girlfriend, the knowledge that i CAN get better and the mere thought that im human and i can BE.
so im wearing all the clothes for the first time since the crazy episode five years ago you people don’t understand
today was shit, my seventh period geometry teacher is out to fucking get me. she makes me get in front of a class of 30 dumb ass ignorant teens everyday and make me do the problems and explain them as if im the teacher. i dont mind it too much but of course the kids are relentless and will make any joke they can and the fucking teacher, guess what she does? nothing! she lets them make fun of me on a every day basis. embarrassing is a understatement. but today my voice was shakey (idk the cause but i hadnt gotten any sleep last […]
i havent posted in about three years and its absolutely crazy how much has changed. i was a deeply depressed little girl but now im a mildy depressed teenager! great. Â Its weird how i can be the happiest ball of fucking light and next wanting to jump in front of a 16 wheeler. I have no friends that i have actual connections with. but hey not complaining cause i love being with myself. and another odd thing about myself which i still cant figure out is the fact that im vain as hell but loathe myself at the same damn time? I think im the […]
well this is the first time I’ve ever wrote on a site like this.im just trying it out to see if it helps me to deal with my problems as there’s no one I can talk to about it.”I fell like all my male friends think it’s “gay” to show emotions “don’t get me wrong there’s noting wrong with being gay” So a little bit about me, im a 16 year old male I’m into lots of stuff like music and art but not sport (wierd I no ) and I was diagnosed with depression just over a year ago. I find it hard to […]
so I am 5 weeks pregnant, and anyone who has followed my posts know what a big deal it is for me to  have a baby, back in 2012 i had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and that tore me appart. I nearly killed myself. Now i have a chance to be a mother again, my boyfriend and I even planned this baby, but he also knows i am at high risk pregnancy loss  and i suffer with cronic anxiety. I also have a tilted uterus too witch is harder for me to carry a child. . as i said before people whom have follow […]
I just done whit this word its fuck uped for me i hope i can broke my promise im trying because i hate this shit what im doing but a promise is a promise if i be fucked up again then its the end lol
on some days I feel probably okay..i try not to think much but most of the time..i feel exhausted! with my life..it’s just been one failure after another and add to that low self confidence and high self loathing..i just want it to end..if this is life..i don’t want it.. I have issues but I can never talk about them with anyone because whoever I consider close don’t know what it’s like..the whole “move on, fight, get on with it” thing doesn’t work for me..i’m tired of doing all that..im just exhausted and want some permanent rest and I’m in the final stages of getting […]
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