I’m going through to much lost my girl lost my relationship with my mom in the process of being kick out only 17 no family no friends no income no job ask God everyday why me why me im I a good person or a bad person was I ment to be put on earth was I a mistake sometimes I question myself is there really a God if so Why do he let stuff like this happen to people why when I pray my praises doesn’t be answer Why Do I Find Myself Crying A bout my situation why don’t he come through for […]
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I recently started working temporarily at this store where they set “goals” for each employee as to how many garment bags they sell and how many new customers they can get signed up for the store’s rewards program. It’s all a load of crap if you ask me.
These don’t even deserve to be called “goals” because 1. I could name about 1000 things that are more worthwhile, 2. you get no kind of reward if you actually reach this goal, and 3. it’s entirely up to the customer, not you.
The best you can do is ask if they want the bag, ask if they want to […]
I cant be who i am when who i am gets in the way of what i so desperately want. To be loved, to be accepted as I am without someone telling me what i cant change is wrong or disgusting… So I hate myself. More so than anyone ever hated me. I dont think im a bad person, but every time I try to show someone how i feel, im met with this look of disgust and contempt, given lectures of total bullshit, brushed off, pushed away… even betrayed by people i thought I could trust. They were my friends until i couldnt joke about […]
i was reading today where Belgium gave the euthanasia green light to a healthy 24 year old woman who has been wanting to die since she was a kid. She claimed that life was just not for her. I can relate to that in so many ways. Euthanasia for the mentally ill is gaining ground in that great nation, I just wish it would gain the same kind of ground in the ole US of A.
I remember when Brittney Maynard was giving interviews about her right to die due to her terminal brain tumor. I was hoping that her message would spread to the nifty […]
I think there was a similar post on here but I thought I’d post again to see perhaps different insight.
Is there anyway to make it easier for the people that you leave behind? I have struggled many years adjusting from an existence of isolation…. I’m nearing the end and have thought of ways to make it easier. I have dropped hints and have asked the question to someone who I hold dear ” Would you be okay [go on with life] without me?”. I have spoken with my sister stating that I simply don’t know how long I’ll be around. I am in the […]
Any suicide survivors out there???
Can yall please tell me your experiences?
Like the pain involved in the method, and what happens when you’re near the point of no return??
Thanks.
A vicious circle my life will always be.
I’ve always coped in the only way I know, it hurts me and creates even more darkness.
The small glimmer of hope came and passed; false and pretend, that’s all it ever was.
A vicious circle my life will always be.
In a week’s time, I will be nothing once again.
There is no future for someone with such deep struggles.
I held on for no reason; I will never get better.
I know.
I actually cried tonight, thinking about what happened over these past three days. Did a lot of psychoanalysis on myself. As you all know, Thursday night I started drinking cooers light. It’s the only alcohol my aunt will allow me to have. The problem is, I sober up to fast. The bigger problem is that I feel like a monster when I’m sober but when I’m drunk all my worries go away and I can be myself (in a way). I get scared of sobering up because I know that once I do, my problems will come back.
That night, I said screw it and decided […]
I just moved from home, in an attempt to save enough money for a college I can’t afford, to an entirely new city. I’ve been excited to move away from that place all my life, but now I feel crippled by adult responsibilities. My rent is 700, and I need to get a job immediately.
But with no job availability, and no experience to speak of in regards to city work, I’m stuck. Without a job, I can’t get insurance, which I need for a psychiatrist, and then for meds.
I need a car to get a job out of town, which I need a job to […]
The most astounding fact is the knowledge that the atoms that comprise life on Earth, the atoms that make up the human body are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core under extreme temperatures and pressures. These stars, the high mass ones among them went unstable in their later years, they collapsed and then exploded, scattering their enriched guts across the galaxy, guts made of carbon, ********, oxygen and all the fundamental ingredients of life itself. These ingredients become part of gas clouds that condense, collapse, form the next generation of solar systems, stars with orbiting planets, and […]
It all started when I was in elementary my mom couldn’t afford an apartment or a house. so we had to live out of her boyfriends van. After living in the car for like a couple of months we moved to a homeless shelter. It was hard going to school because I couldn’t be like the other kids. For me after school was just going back to the shelter and that was it. I didn’t really get to play much and if I did play I would play with my older brother. I have 2 older brother but my oldest brother got kidnapped by his […]
I hate our society.
I think I have hated it ever since that first moment that I actually understood it.
I hate how we’re all so god damn attached to cell phones.
I hate how we judge immediately because that’s our instinct.
I hate how I know so many kids with mental problems because our society has shaped them and previous generations to cause it.
I hate how everyone, especially myself, is just so FREAKING SAD ALL THE FREAKING TIME!
I hate how I go to school, I worry about our financial situation more than anyone, I’m […]
Why movies are better than reality ? Why movie is better than reality ? Why reality is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
Why movies are better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why movie is better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why reality is boring ?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality ( human’s fantasy is better than reality )
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, X-Men, Marvels & DC universe / movies , The Avengers , Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Naruto, Bleach, […]
If there’s a punishment in the afterlife for suicide, don’t you think one would deserve it at least until people forgive the suicidal one? I don’t believe with certainty that there’s even an afterlife but you never know. The only thing I’m almost sure of is that there’s no eternal “hell” because there’s so many factors that go into one’s life that It’s not fair to punish you eternally for what you did in a short lifetime. I believe in God for some reason. Also, NDE’s and even science are beginning to support a theory of an afterlife.
A broken fence
Some rusty nails
The Old farmer is decrepit and dilapidated
Barrenness is all around
Yet he still ploughs
Holding on
To something that is lost
Everyone’s left
They are but bones in the yard
He shaves his face
Falls to sleep
In a dead cot
In a dead house
Where everything rots
I have recently been having some pretty intense nightmares, including waking dreams, which are the most horrific series of events, emotions, and imagery that persist after you wake up. The thing that makes these dreams so incredibly petrifying is the relief you would normally feel upon waking up is shattered by the persistence of the thing you fear the most appearing in reality. Sometimes they fizzle out quickly, alternatively there are times I lay in bed for over an hour trying to figure out my reality, it’s as if I completely dissociate from reality, and I am unable to distinguish things that clearly aren’t real […]
PROS – 1. No more mental illness, 2. No more constant worrying, 3. No painful natural death in the future, 5. No more addictions, 6, no more rejection because I can’t function as a normal adult, 7. No more of this world weighing me down with consequences and obligations, 8, I’ll have a choice!, 9. I’ll never suffer again, 10. I will have no wants, impossible or unhealthy ones.
CONS –
Anyone interested in hearing some wild stories add me on kik. I know i have a less than favorable presence here, but I am genuinely good guy, I have been painted in a bad light by people once banned in my chats. These were all decisions that i felt were imperative for the mental health and safety of the people involved in the ban.
anyway, my kik account:
anthrophile
Add me, and we will have a cool conversation. Even if all you want to do is vent a little. I will eventually get around to typing all of the stories, but between work and doing admin […]
I’m not evil or I don’t hurt anyone but the dark has pieces of me I can never get back so Im trying to get it back but it feels like im falling back into the hole of the darkness with the depression and loneliness im bringing upon myself I don’t want this for myself I just feel like im drowning in my own head but no one can hear me….it really is a filthy goddamn world we live in its so much pain in the world and people cover it up with a smile.
I don’t know why I do the things is do. I don’t know why I think how I think. I don’t know why I’m so sensitive. I don’t know why I love with all my heart and soul. But in the process I’ve lost my dignity, my strength, and my manliness. I want to meet Jesus, assuming he’s my maker. When I do I’m going to ask him where I went wrong. I’m sure he’ll have no problem telling me how it is. I just hope he doesn’t banish me from eternal life because I pissed the one he gave me down my leg. Being […]