A doll, with a painted smiled and cheerful eyes.
She wants to be heard, to scream and let that smile fall. But she can’t. She wasn’t made to do that.
The people around her wouldn’t be pleased. Her image of perfection cannot fall.
So much hidden, deep within and she keeps it close to her heart.
Silent cries and pleads to be free. From her inner demons, but no one’s willing to help.
To save this girl; save her from herself.
They expect her to buck up and deal with it, “that’s life”.
Tag:
Inner Demons
Sometimes it hurts to live
Sometimes when you’re feeling low…I mean real low. This is a level of low no one knows about because the people who experience it don’t talk about it or are too high to even coherently relate it to the alphas and betas of the world. This is the low that somebody in your life, somebody closest to you has put you on the tipping point and your inner demons grabbed you & thrust you in. Your standing in the bathroom lights off. You’re in the shower with the water running. The warmth against your skin is how you […]
I don’t know why I feel this way. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m tired of feeling down and depressed all the time, and constantly feeling unloved. I have a story just like everybody else, but what’s the point of telling it? Everybody has their own problems, why should I complain about mine? I just wish I stayed dead…I’ll still never understand why I came back. I just don’t know what to do anymore…but death sounds better and better every day. I’m just broken beyond repair.
My heart is racing,
and my hands are shaking.
Wow that nightmare seemed real,
at least that’s how it made me feel.
I am awake,the fight is over.
The struggle begins.
My first thought of the day,
keep my mind occupied so I don’t think about suicide today.
It’s a lot harder than it sounds,
because I have a lot of skeletons running around.
Why did you do those horrible things,
one of the skeletons likes to sing.
It was my job,I like to say,
but he answers, that excuse is gay!
I know that he is right,
at that time I chose to fight.
Im so pissed today.I had a great morning went out for my birthday with my therapist even though they gave me a gift card to buy clothes knowing if they gave me it for anything else i wouldve bought pills and probably taken them.What people dont get is im already going to do that and i can find my own way to get what i need cause im resourceful.But it gets worse
I go on a site to get free stuff and give away stuff and they took the item i was giving away down.Even though people were giving away the same item.Anyway not […]
I haven’t posted anything in a while, while I have been reading others posts and commenting I really have nothing to say as far as myself. I posted that I was entering a manic state, but now I’m not so sure. I have bipolar 2 so I don’t experience intense mania. I have sperts on and off of whats called hypomania. Less intense but still manic and comes with a harsh crash back to reality soon after. So for the last 6 days or so I have been calm, cool, and collected.
I woke up and realized I was completely over my ex and my depression […]
I have been struggling with my inner demons and haunted by the ghosts of my past for most of my life, and I simply don’t know how much more I can possibly take. I’m just not strong enough to keep fighting off the darkness within that much longer, sometime sooner or later it’s going to engulf me… and I won’t survive. I have always had a certain proneness to being emotionally unstable but several years ago I had a severe psychological breakdown triggered in part, by my mum’s death. Before she passed away she repeatedly asked for me and I desperately wanted to be there for her, […]