Well the honest reason is that I suddenly realised that I’m sick of trying. I’m sick of it all. I go to sleep at night telling myself that it’s almost over, just be strong for a little while longer take it one day at a time. But I can’t do it. I feel like I spend every second trying to just hold on. Trying not to break. I don’t know if I can do it anymore. I just want it to be over. Is that really so bad? I’m tired and I need it to be over. I don’t have anything left in me. It’s […]
Tag:
it all
one day im fine , the next im not..
it hurts holding it all in, having small things trigger breakdowns. Popping the pill to make it all go away for a bit, but its still there..in the darkness waiting for the perfect moment to strike once again and making you shatter into a million pieces.
Unrepairable.
Damaged.
I’m a 42 year old woman and I have battled depression all of my life.  I have three serious failed suicide attempts that landed me in ICU.  I’m suffering from a clinical depression and I’m on four anti-depressants that are not giving me any relief.  I’m such a burden on my family that I don’t want to live anymore.  My mom has been with me for 12 weeks and is going back home in a couple of days.  I had to move back in with my ex-husband because I could not take care of myself.  I stopped eating because I had no appetite.  I feel guilty […]
I’m so very tired.
Having battled depression for at over 40 years now and still feeling like I’m in the same place I started. Alone – divorced after too many years of a bad relationship and now my latest SO decided that I wasn’t worth the effort and took up with someone else. I’m unemployed and unemployable, my skills and my background being obsolete. I make myself get out of these 4 walls only with the greatest of effort and my energy is nearly depleted. I’m tired of fighting battles I can’t win. I’m sick of feeling like the world is just rolling over me every […]
Ive been suffering from depression and suicidal ideation for roughly two years now, though I can remember my first time saying I want to die was in the 3rd grade. Two years ago I lost what I had believed as to be everything I had wanted. A house, nice car, a fiancee, I was happy and full of confidence.
Unfortunately I had the pleasure of losing all of that Plus more within 6 months time. Fiancee crashed my car, insurance wouldn’t pay for it, fiancee broke up with me, realized she had been cheating, kicked me out, and stopped paying the mortgage. House is in […]
We are just suicidal people telling other suicidal people suicide isn’t the answer.
We all suffer
all cry
all depressed
all think
we are all just people
I hate how people think if you self harm or are suicidal your more of a special person or people don’t talk to you. Were not different we don’t have fucking three heads. Im tired of it all. The judges of it all, we cant be the same can we? Its like people wants us to suffer even more. But for anyone out there depressed or wanting to commit suicide just know one person will always be there. If not then its me even […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qsgBF7ZIsk&list=PL_lfsNREdSwx5eGkEOsFse8sWdjwSUi-K&index=44
I’m the one who steps from the shadows, all trenchcoat and cigarette and arrogance, ready to deal with the madness. Oh, I’ve got it all sewn up. I can save you. If it takes the last drop of your blood, I’ll drive your demons away. I’ll kick them in the bollocks and spit on them when they’re down and then I’ll be gone back into darkness, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack. I walk my path alone… who would walk with me.
Consciousness, the cruel joke played on us all by the universe. When I catch my reflection all I see is a talking ape that knows of its mortality and the meaningless of being. Death is the punch line and often I feel the joke is dragging on and leaving me wishing to just get there already.
I still remember the glint of your eyes, the vibration of your pale irises, the pinch of your cheeks as your transfiction deepens, god I remember it all. What you were staring at is lost to me, and the absence of such an essential detail carves the hollow caves of my heart even deeper. Your mouth is curved, poised to speak but frozen in the grasp of your captivation. What you meant to say is suspended on your tiny lips, like a bird furled in its cage, the door open but caught on its jutting wing, so close to being liberated yet restrained by itself. […]
I ruined a friendship with one of my best friends because of work stress and now all I can think about is that I am a huge fuckup and want to die. I don’t even care about the job. I care about my friend. Why do I always get angry and push people away like this? I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It all seems so illogical and distant now.
I just want help or maybe to stop living or run away from everything. I’m at university and I have friends but I’ve lied and cheated to everyone and haven’t lived up to my parents reputations or expectations. I want to be alone away from everything. I think about killing myself but more than anything I want my guilt and sadness to stop. I feel awful and horrible for the way I’ve acted but I can’t go back on my actions. Apologizing to people 4-6 months after the fact doesn’t solve anything. I feel horrible. I just want to be done with everything. I can’t […]
Nothing can make me stop thinking about killing myself. I went to the hospital and thought I was better but every time I take my anti depressants or any type of medicine I feel such an urge to take the whole bottle. Anytime I’m driving I think about crashing the car. Anytime I’m on a tall building I think of jumping off. I watch cop shows on TV and wonder how great it would be to be one of those dead bodies. Even when I’m not in a bad/sad mood I think about it all the time. Help. Please.
Well, been with this girl for the past 4 years. The most amazing girl, did everything she can to me, gave me all the love that she could. Everything was perfect.. A few months ago though, I got bored, and ended up cheating, and told her. The girl I cheated with had gotten pregnant.. Of course, my gf left me. Told me if she knew it wasn’t mine then maybe we could work through it. Well that was 2 weeks ago, I get a call this morning saying the baby didn’t make it. So I called her and she said “well that was last week, […]
There is this guy.. We’ve been seeing eachother for a month or two now. Initially we agreed to just be fuck buddies, but feelings got in the way and it’s all a mess now. He’s 24 and i’m 17.. We spend all the time we can together.. We kiss, cuddle, text the whole time and basically act like we’re going out.. We stopped sleeping with other people bexauze we really like eachother.. He’s amazing and perfect in every single way!! But he told me that he doesn’t want a relationship because of the age difference which breaks my heart, but I understand where he is […]
The daisy days go buy, i sit dazed and confused ,laying one with the being beneath me. he hugs me she trust me ,she know i am loyal to her trees, magnificent beings. closing my eyes,I wonder upon the mountain side, so small infinite to the world outside. I love it all, the one thing i could possibly love is her,the song birds sing ,i sigh the wind fills my lungs to saves my cries. Brush the hair of a girl who is so confined, so small to both her and time, I try to just be, love everything she made; including me, be open […]
Its all pointless? I have no one anymore i dont even know why im posting on here either my lifes pointless and im done with it all 🙁 im gonna end it now forget everyone just do what i want anyway :/ im done with life and im sick of people always trying to keep me here so they feel better and i dont care anymore all my friends have gone and abandoned me too my girlfriend got taken to a psychiatric center and she probably wont get out so here i am alone with all the painkillers i could find and im DONE goodbye […]
I had a panic attack today I never experienced anxiety till this month. It’s been atleast one eveeday now. It really started with a subtle paranoia the small thought that maybe ill fail maybe my friends are lying to me. Now it’s become completely out of hand. I’m encased in lies and dangerous things and I’m afraid to make a move because I’ll fail I know I will. And all the while the spiders that spin their webbed lies that I used to call friends race on without me. I can’t blame them I never let them see my panic […]
Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, gets to me more than people who don’t understand anxiety and depression, so they treat you like you’re a whiny ***** for everything. If you don’t understand it that’s fine, not everyone does. But don’t go and treat me like a fucking ***** who whines about “stupid shit.” Until you know what it feels like to have parents hate you, “friends” who only stay around because they hope you’ll eventually sleep with them then treat you like you’re less than human because you don’t, been raped, been abused, held a knife to your throat ready to pull it… bottle of pills in […]
Don’t wanna live cause I’m dead inside. Don’t wanna live cause I have a harsh life. Nothing but pain filled with panick attacks, nothing but falling into old traps. I am sick and tired of your little game. The game where you decide to show me pain. The place where I feel alone and I don’t even exist. The place where you…forget about it, never mind, don’t care for me, you got  too many other things on your mind. But your game is over cause I escaped, I suffered 18 years from this terrible pain, but now starts a new age cause I escaped and […]
Loved someone with every ounce of your existence? And despite how you feel, have that person and people around you tell you that it isn’t really love. I admit it I am controlling, not because I had no control over my childhood or anything like that. But because I want to control the pain that I will feel. I didn’t and still don’t want to feel any type of love for anyone because I don’t want to hurt. I never trusted anyone I built the biggest of walls and yet one person got through to me. It was magic it was love it was the […]