I don’t like the greedy psychiatrist that shoves pills down everyone’s throat in order to buy a $300 tie. I don’t like the yuppies that play golf on a nice evening while slavekind pays off their “debts”. I don’t like the alcoholics. I don’t like the party-ers. I don’t like the girl that is so desperate for attention to the point of it being sickening. I don’t like the person that doesn’t say “hello” when I say “hello”. I don’t like the soccer moms that think they’re properly raising their children, when they’re not. I don’t like politicians. I don’t like “famous people”. I don’t like the […]
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Jobs
I’m so tired. I tell everyone I’m tired and they say I’m not being honest about the real issues. But they don’t understand how tired I really am. I’m tired in every sense of the word. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally tired. I’m trying to decide whether or not life is meaningless. I don’t know if that would just be a selfish method of self protection or if it is a valid thought. But I’ve been trying to assign meaning to it thinking that the world is a better place and my life will be more enjoyable if it is meaningful. But this is so damn […]
Today I feel like giving up everything and just going quietly. I’ve been in and out of jobs that are not worth the pay and my business doesn’t seem like it wants to take off. I am in debt and feel totally worthless as an individual. Everyone I know blames me for their problems even if I have had nothing to do with the source of their problems. My friends have been drifting away and I keep losing more (and don’t know why outside of trying to be supportive of the things that are going on in their lives). The girls I try to date […]
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I should never have left my old girlfriend, I should have been a bit more grown up when it came to school. I shouldn’t have reacted when my father left my mother for one of my school teachers at the time. I should have just switched classes instead of throwing a perfectly good A grade down the drain.
Anyway 3 years later I’m living in a poor dump of a shared house. Paint peeling off the walls, thieving housemates and a crooked landlord. All my friends have left for University, something I once aspired to do. I’m out of work, […]
I’m new here so I guess I’ll start with some history. I have three half-blood brothers, and one full-blood brother. I have one half-blood sister and a woman I consider to be my sister, but really isn’t. My parents passed away. My mother when I was two. My dad when I was eight. I was molested when I was nine. I lived with a very sadistic and controlling woman for about four years. I then moved in with my brother, when I was twelve. He taught me how to live, how to love, and how to be a good person. I’m now in college. I’m […]
It`s 2:00 in the morning and I found this website by typing `my life is meaningless` in the google search engine. Maybe I should type a little about myself; I don`t know how this site works exactly. I`m going to turn 20 in the summer. I dropped out of university a little while ago, but that`s okay because there were so many things wrong with going in the first place. I went across the country a little while after that, worked a couple jobs and now here I am, back in my parents basement. I ticked the box `general`but maybe I`ll tick `rants` as well. […]
http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/bering-in-mind/2010/10/20/being-suicidal-what-it-feels-like-to-want-to-kill-yourself/
It’s really goddamn familiar, huh? I guess we could all stand to stop creating or internalizing unrealistic standards for ourselves and our lives… Which is harder than it sounds, for me anyway.
One more thing I stumbled on recently that I thought was interesting: antinatalism, the belief that life should not be brought into existence. They say they don’t approve of suicide, but I see a connection. Regardless–hear, hear!
By the way, I’m so fickle about life… I am back to suicidal ideation again because two leads I had for jobs no longer seem as promising. Having a liberal arts degree in this economy is such a […]
I am 28 yrs old. I am your typical white guy. I am married to a beautiful women be she doesn’t live with me.   I use to own a business but with the economy I had to shut down. I have had a rough life I spent 9 yrs in stae and federal prison. I went in when I was 18. I came out reformed and ready to work. I met my wife who was my sisters best friend about 4 months after i was released. I started a moving business and did great with it. i was able to do more stuff with my life in […]
I am a college student majoring in engineering who is about to graduate in May. Â I have been feeling very suicidal recently because I just got rejected from two different jobs on the same day. Â I have been applying to jobs since August and have been a few interviews, but then have been rejected. Â I felt that these past two jobs that I interviewed for were kinda the last “straw” in terms of getting a job before graduation. I feel like a failure and I am not sure where to go from here. Â I feel pressure from everyone who expects me to get a job […]
I grew up with a mentally ill mother. She had dissosociative personallity disorder – it isn’t well known, but you have heard of its first cousin, multiple personality disorder. As a result, my entire life was a crisis – living in a home where even the slightest mistake in your wording could send your mother into a suicidal tailspin made me learn to turn all my negative feelings on myself (as a child, hating myself was always far easier than being blamed for a dissosociative episode or a suicide attempt – and, yes, she did directly blame me for some). I’ve been trying, in my […]
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