Tonight is really bad. I miss my girls so much. This is so hard to keep going through the days when the most important part of your life is gone, yet they are only minutes away and you cant go see them, call them, hug them, tell them you love them. I know ive made mistakes and done stupid things but I regret them honestly and truly. Doesnt that count for anything? I wish I would just die in my sleep tonight and be taken away from this hell.
Tag:
keep going
Wrote this for a friend; Thought it may also belong here, for anyone in the same position as her…
written by OursIsTheFury
… And the fact that you’re still alive after 9 years of depression and 8 years of suicidal thoughts proves to me that you’re strong. Strong enough to keep going, and strong enough to kick depression’s ass.
Depression makes people wage wars against themselves between the happy and the sad, and sometimes the sad wins, but not always. Often times, people can overcome the sadness and the depression. Sometimes it’s a short war, but most of the time it’s not.
Not your’s. Your’s has lasted nearly a decade, and it may last a whole ‘nother, but in the end, I know you’ll win, and I know it’ll […]
I feel better than I did. I needed to get all that out. I’ve picked up drinking over the last several months. That helps a lot. I don’t want to destroy myself, just feel better. I have received some good news/bad news a few days ago. I can’t think of suicide right now. I have no other option but keep going despite what I’m feeling inside… I’m not sure that I can do this. I am positive that I will be back to this place again. I spent a really long time debating this decision…
he fucking killed me. how does it feel to know that you fucking had enough influence to make somebody else to want to disappear?! i am beyond hurt. i am so heartbroken i can’t keep going. nobody deserves this life.
why am i writing this? why am i writing here. it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t change anything. just venting. for what.
I don’t know if I’m full-on suicidal. But I like the feeling of a blade on my skin, the blood running down my ankle, my neck, my arm, whatever it may be. I like the numbness it brings. Maybe that’s why I cut, to bring on the feeling that makes sure I can keep going for another day. But I was found out when I actually cut a word on my wrist. My docs blamed it on a medication I was taking, but I know better. Are any of you scared someone will find out that you’re suicidal, if people don’t know? Are you scared […]
This post is mainly for anyone who needs a read or something to carry on….
I’ve been battling with killing myself everyday for over 2 years. What’s worse is that the reason I feel this way is because of the shit from other people – some people are just nasty and hateful, I’ve been dealing with privacy invasion – I’ve had a lot stolen from me intellectually as well as emotionally – maybe that sounds dumb, but it’s true…. I ended up in the hospital once because I wanted to kill myself…. this isn’t a pitty post it’s to let anyone who reads it know they […]
So hi, I’m 13. I know that probably sounds young but whatever. Â I’m depressed, I self harm, and am bulimic. I’m attempted to kill myself many times- always getting interrupted my psycho parents who are abusive. I only have one real friend and he is my boyfriend. I love him so much but I feel like he likes other girls… he’s depressed and self harms also. he helps me live. he gives me the courage to keep going. without him I would be gone. I just feel like he likes other girls now… and when I was going to commit a while ago all he […]
there’s this girl I stayed up all extra late to talk her actually I met her on here… after awhile she gave me a reason to not want to kill myself anymore… then we started to have feelings for each other..at least that’s what I thought..a couple of I love yous and good conversations later I get a bad feeling that something isn’t right turns out she had a boyfriend all along I was just some extra conversation..then I almost lost my mom I lost my job and im out of reasons to keep going.. guess this is goodbye
I’ve been in hospital psych ward for two weeks now. I self admitted to try and regulate my meds. Things aren’t going as smoothly as I had hoped. There are clearly people worse off than I. I have been witness to some aggressive personalities, situations that have occurred beyond my wildest imagination, and today my roommate made an attempt on her life that has struck me to the core. I have come to realize that any healing has to come from within. There is no one out there to help you. You are alone in this mess you find yourself in and there are two […]
The water’s cold and it’s very very deep.
There’s a long long way to go, I’m often tired and want to sleep.
IÂ don’t know where I’m heading but I hope it’ll be ok,
And that most of all that the tiredness and the coldness goes away.
It’s been going on for so long and I often want to stop,
And fall below the waters into that icy peaceful drop.
I’m scared of what I’ll find below, if I do give up,
I’m scared how long I’ll keep going, if conditions don’t let up.
I’ve met other swimmers from their own unfriendly seas.
They came to mine for a while, as I was tired, […]
i would love to kill myself right now. Â I just can’t tolerate myself anymore. I have no desire for anything, Ive been carrying to much weight on my shoulders for so long. Â I just cant keep going anymore. But Im just gonna go to sleep n live one more day
It’s obvious to me. I’m throwing myself into a hole, each time getting a little deeper. Farther and farther down where I know you’ll never find me. I wanna take the pills to stop it all. I want to drink the whiskey you bought me. I can’t keep going on like this, knowing that some day you might leave me. Why did this happen? Why did I give everything up?
Why can’t the words seem to flow from my fingertips.
I honestly don’t know what to do…
Long story short.
My wife left me. lost all my possessions ,car , dogs etc. ended up going to jail after a argument with father in law. now on probation living on a couch stuck with 9000.00 in fines etc. jobless can’t find a job now that I’m a felon. Facing a violation for not paying cause I have no money. I was on meds for severe depression but have none now. I’ve tried once to end it already while I was locked up. I’m just tired why keep going it just gets worse. I don’t even remember what its like to be happy.
Edit
We were married […]
I don’t even know what to say
Besides the fact I need someone to talk to, someone who understands loss and pain of a massive scale
I know this seems short, I just don’t know what to say
Why should I keep living? Why should I keep waiting? Why should I keep going? Why should I go on? Why should I keep screaming? Why should I keep crying? Why?
I’ve been having a lot of problems at home and nothing seems to be going right for me. Today, my nan.. the person i love most in this world, the one who’s ever stopped me from doing anything (killing myself) told me to go kill myself. It honestly broke my heart so much and i’ve selfharmed, ive seriously got no reason to keep going. It is so hard to carry on when you have no one on your side, no one understands me. I dont know what to do anymore, everything i do always turns into a bad decision which i end up […]
I tried to impress you but I failed that’s my best skill is being a failure. I’ve been depressed for months because of you and there was no point in the end. I’m sorry I gave up love but you made me promise to and I can’t keep going.
all I wanna do is let go…
I just can’t keep going, but there is one person…
if I die…
she probably wouldn’t handle it at all…
why couldn’t she have walked away…
just like everyone else?
That moment when u don’t know if what you want today is what you actually want or what todays brain chemistry is telling you that’s what you want and if tommorrows brain chemistry will tell you the same thing or the exact opposite, in such a case do you take half if it or sack up and drink beer untill everything becomes not thing more than something to piss against, prehoas dogs have the right idea. They sniff something to see if its interesting then they piss on it and keep going.. Perhaps that’s where humanity has gone wrong
Today sucked…This has got to get better eventually….All that i can think about is ending it all….I dont know what to do…There has got to be more than this…i cant keep going on like this…everyday i feel another piece of me die……
Days since suicidal thoughts: 0
Days since cutting: 0
Feelings at the moment:
~Anguish
~Numb
~Wishing for death