I wish someone, something would kill me immediately.
Alas, no one cares enough to do that. Â It is nice that no one cares to pretend, but that would be the clincher. Â If no one will let you escape pain, they’d rather have you suffer for their own sake, they don’t truly care. Â They cannot truly care.
I don’t want to hear about plans or whatever God has to say. Â None of it matters in the slightest.
The sound of darkness. A grapefruit. Devour, and kill me.
One day. After we walk to eternity.
A walking soul of iron armor. Undead, in celibacy to Celestial.
I am, that I am.
Devour me. Kill me. Me and you, to infinity.
So I have been thinking about Life for a long time now, and i just can’t see a meaning to live! I want to die, but i can’t kill myself because i don’t want to hurt my family and friends… I have thought about running away but the same feeling of not wanting to hurt anyone shows it’s ugly face again… I actually doesn’t have a bad life, i get food everyday, i have a loving family, i have a warm bed, i have a place to call home… But still i just dont want to live anymore… I’m praying everyday in the bus on […]
Why did you rape me? Why did you kill me? Why did I wake up again? Why did my heart start beating again? Why did you hurt me? When I was only 2 or 3 years old? I feel so sorry. I feel like it’s my fault. I feel like I should have been a better child and given you more. I am confused. I am scared. I suffered 18 years of a difficult time at home. And the problem was: My parents didn’t even know. They didn’t even realise what was going on. They didn’t even realise they were wrong. They thought they were good and […]
I am so fucking DONE. I want to die.. well I don’t want to die, but I want this pain to go away. I want the constant numbness, guilt, sadness, and every other emotion to stop. I want these voices to go away and leave my head. I want my father to actually love me! Hell I want my family to actually love me! All they do is tell me that I’m a waste of time, money, and space. They don’t support me. They don’t encourage me to live my dream. They don’t encourage me to get involved with my church, instead they act like […]
I am 16 and I have been in a phyce ward and i’ve been to C-Star Rehab for drug abuse. Over this past year I have grown to be more and more depressed. I would rather not talk about why because it may piss people off and the other reasons are embarrassing. One reason I don’t want to is my family of course and the other is what happens after death, if after death was purgatory then it wouldn’t matter to me because then all of lives worries would be gone. My last reason would be because I would like to know what the future […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Georgia_Mass_Choir_-_The_Best_of_My_Story.mp3
where can I go where there is nowhere to go to who can I talk to who isn’t already playing what can I do when they have everything laid out and planned for me already wtf can i get my shock now can I get my whatever the hell they gone give me now I don’t care anymore commit me, kill me, anything is better than submitting. I don’t believe andi don’t have to I lost enough of my soul and I don’t care who don’t believe me: who I am, what I am supposed to be idont care who believes me or not […]
My mom has just been giving me this look of utter pity as if I was just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. As if at any moment I’ll try again. I love her to death and I know she is only worried for me but I can’t stand for her to do this to me. Her looks kill me more each day knowing I caused so much harm to her. What hurts me the most is that things won’t be the same anymore and its all my fault..
” Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Never has a sentence been more wrong. Words are WILL hurt. Words will kill. When someone says a word it can sink so deep down in your mind that you will never escape it. Think of all the words people use to hurt. Getting each and every one down so low that that is all you hear in your mind. When someone insults you it can grab hold and never let you go until you are writhing in pain thinking yourself worthless. Words can get inside and eat you from the core […]
I was reading this book called the Van Gogh Blues. Â It’s all about how creative people suffer with depression because of a meaning complex, and it freaked me out because I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for years, and I always figured that one day when I create something it will dissipate. Â If creating can’t bring me meaning, then what can?
Everything in my life seems so fucked, which is ridiculous because so much of it is petty or will be unimportant in six months. Â Sometimes I just feel like there’s no point and I’m such a bad person and I should die, but at the […]
well i stumbled across this website when i was just looking for some ways to kill myself….i problem should say some back story im 14 years old and have cut for eight years…i have tryied suicide 14 times but clearly they all have failed i was never the smartest person and i have few friends most witch have moved away or killed themselves. I mean this morning i woke up to a friend crying and then i heard them shoot them self in the head…i heard them smash there head onto a hard floor and now i feel nothing..no emotion. i mean people tell jokes […]
I was born in broken home. My father was an alcoholic. He is clearly a psychopath without having any sense of empathy. While being alcoholic he tried to kill my mother. She born me sometime around that. She compensated her broken marriage with me, she got me emotionally overattached. She made me sexually uncomfortable by talking about sex. She severely abused me.  Once a week she was crying, screaming, shouting at everyone. She was coming to me and saying things I couldn’t even remember. She made me cry and she didn’t stop there, she just kept going and going. She was screaming she was going to […]
It’s been almost a year since I’ve been rescued from here. And I find myself sitting here at night again. Knowning no other way out that to spil out my heart on this place.
Why didn’t I just kill myself last year. Why haven’t I done it still.
It’s because I’m afraid to fail. I’m afraid to wake up again. I’m afraid that guilt will kill me if I do.. I’m afraid I will be too weak to actually commit. I’m afraid I don’t have enough know how.
The one thing I’m not afraid of is dying.
I’ll start with my earliest memory of running around my living room while people where drinking and taking drugs the last thing I remember is being put back to bed by a junkie. My mum always used to beat me from time to time. When I was around 7 she meet a guy called Stephen. She would give him money when there was no food in the house and I had nothing to eat I would go to my grans who lived around the corner from me to get some of her biscuits to try and kill the hunger as I would go days without […]
I want to die I am so sick n tired of life I really need someone to talk to… 🙁
Maryam_bi@hotmail.co.uk
Hi Guys,
How are you? How’s your life? How is your day? Don’t forget to comment down below how you are! I do want to know!
NOTE: Really sorry for this being a long post… I didn’t really try to… Writing is the only way I can get my feelings out.
How am I? Does it even matter how I am? Does it matter? Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. How am I? Physically? Sore. Bruised. Hurt. Scarred. Mentally? Broken. In Pain. Hurt. Scared.
My physical state… I keep getting headaches… Waking up this morning I hit my head on my wall and it hurt like crazy, but […]
So im 33 and have hoped my life would get better…the past week or so has proved me wrong and there is nothing left to be hopeful about.I have several health problems any of which could kill me at anytime.I have 3 girlswhoi lovemore than anything even tho only one talks to me anymore.Within a week or so after i postthis i plan on taking my life,i know its a selfish act but there really is no other choice.It feels good just to write this down thanks to anyone who reads.
I need something to keep me going, because anymore I see no point in living. Everyone always meets someone better than me, then I become nonexistent. I’m use to it, I don’t blame anyone, I only blame myself for not being good enough. And yes, I know that people leave our lives all the time but why is it that no one seems to stay in my life? For once, I’d like to feel wanted/needed. But that probably won’t happen, I’ll kill myself long before that day comes.
I don’t want to live anymore. I hate life, I hate everything. I really want to take my life away but I can’t. I’m a Christian and believe in God. I don’t want to go to hell. My life is pointless. I go to these “special” classes, only two and I hate it. I was doing bad in school and got put there last year. That’s like telling me I’m dumb or something. I get a headache when I get there, I’m not the same. I tried asking my mom to put me in regular classes like the rest of my friends. I’m not dumb […]
From the age of around 2-4 years old i was abused for the first time, my old babysitters son grinded against me when he was hard and i tried to get away from him but being a child he was much stronger and would not allow it. When i went to kindergarten another boy would try to touch me and i pleaded with him to stop but it didn’t end till the year was over and he had violated other girls as well. When i was five years old i begged GOD to kill me everyday. It got to the point where i wrapped a bad […]
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