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Happy Easter Homies

by seppuku
written by seppuku

Happy freakin’ Easter sp. We suffer horrible torment. We die. We freakin’ rise again. That makes Easter a damn sight better than Christmas in my humble view. More ways to die than just the physical. In Amy Winehouse’s words ‘I died a hundred times’…

Plus I’m kind of an antinatalist. This world is no place to bring someone you love let alone an innocent vulnerable child.

I’m kind of bored and awake at an unearthly hour so excuse my random ramblings.

I sing little made-up ditties to myself all day about wanting to die. But I’m a gigantic wuss when it comes to going through with the […]

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Don’t trust people like me

by mcgiggles
written by mcgiggles

Don’t trust me.

I will make you believe that I am happy. I will make you believe that I have my shit together and my life is perfect. I will make you believe that everything is going on my favor. I will make you believe that I enjoy being around my family and friends. I will make you believe that I am in love with life, nature and sun. I will make you believe that I always look forward to parties and hangouts. I will make you believe that I’m the kind of person who wants to live as long as possible when the truth is […]

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Still here

by bayareaguy
written by bayareaguy

March 26th has come and gone…..and I’m still here, feeling old, fat, ugly and a worthless failure.   My family has been so sweet and kind…..but I cannot seem to draw from that.  I didn’t get to visit the Golden Gate on “my” day.  I’ll have another opportunity to do so on 4/2 when I drive my nephew back down to the bay area.  I’m supposed to continue on to Los Angeles but I intend to go to the bridge instead.  We need to “visit” with each other.

60 years and a few days old now.  I am destined to be alone.  And I am so tired.  […]

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Dad

by comomequieranllamar
written by comomequieranllamar

Yes, I still think about you every day. Yes, I’m kind of masochistic.
It’s been almost a year from the last mail. Maybe four years from the last time I saw you.
I feel stupid. A little girl who can’t live without daddy. A kid who cries because daddy doesn’t love her.
Even if you caused me so much pain. Even if I remember all that fear I felt when you came home. And all those times you hurt me. Physically and psychologically.

I can’t help it. I still love you. I still wonder what you must be doing, if you’re sad, if you eat ok, […]

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And Her Soul Watches Over

by Sammi6xoxo
written by Sammi6xoxo

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A fried of mine was kind enough to model for a set of photos that I done when I first started college. She fit the concept perfectly.

 

She had never felt so free
Had never been more alive
On that day she began to see
How it felt to live her own life
She didn’t plan to take this road
But now she’s here all alone
She isn’t lonely and hasn’t lost hope
She just wants a friend and a chance to grow
When her […]

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I’m Pathetic

by majesticwalrus
written by majesticwalrus

I’m going to die alone.  I’ve known it for quite a while, but it still sucks to admit.  It’s not that knowing I’ll never find “the one,” or, more likely, that I’ll push her away, is particularly depressing.  If anything, it should be liberating because, no matter what I do, I won’t drag her down with me, which brings me some peace of mind.  But it just fucking sucks.  I’m twenty one years old and I’m still a virgin.  It’s not even that I just can’t find a girl to sleep with me, ’cause that’d be less depressing.  One of my coworkers has, on several […]

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I’m too tired to go on….

by emma3
written by emma3

I’m just to tired to go on.  I’ve been fighting depression for about 5 years now, and seen tons of shrinks and been on every kind of anti-depressant

there is…and nothing has worked.  Hell has be to better than this.  It’s hard being alone with these dark thoughts, but even harder to be around

people and have to fake it.  I actually get angry now when I hear people say that there is help out there, bullshit!  If I could even see a tiny tiny glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel, I might have some hope, but nothing but blackness for five long years […]

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loneliness

by comomequieranllamar
written by comomequieranllamar

I was never a popular kid. Sometimes I didn’t have any friends. Sometimes I had someone to go with, I wouldn’t say they were real friends.
After school, I did have friends. Popular ones, in fact. I used to go out every weekend, and just party all night, drink, laugh, go to sleep at 8 in the morning in some dirty apartment.
No big talks (at least no without alcohol being involved), no intimacy. We just had fun. It was kind of mandatory having fun.

So, people has calmed down, settled. I keep some of those friends and now we really speak. And some new […]

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a

by comomequieranllamar
written by comomequieranllamar

I’m starting to think that is not fair that I have to live with all this pain and anxiety just because of not hurting my mum and sister by killing myself.

So now I’m really afraid.

I study, or used to, Psichology. I rationally understand what’s going on with me. I know that it must eventually pass. That’s what I keep telling myself. But it just doesn’t feel like it will actually get better.

Some days ago, one of my sister’s friend lost her father by suicide. My sister begged me to never do the same.

When my mums boyfriend commited suicide a year ago, his own son came […]

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Oh Boy…

by Matt
written by Matt

It’ll probably be some time next week. If all goes to plan.

I’m kind of excited, in a dark and twisted kind of way. It makes me feel more at ease knowing it’ll all be over soon.

I remember the last time I did this.

All the planning, all the secrecy. And in the end it came to nothing.

Bought a 300 pill tub of painkillers, took 2 because I had a headache part way through.

Bought 12 pints worth of beer and had one can, which was warm.

Bought a nice strong hemp rope and the beam above me wasn’t strong enough.

In the end I just fished out a razor […]

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Can I really do this

by lissbabe
written by lissbabe

Can I do this? Can I keep on pretending that everything is alright when it’s not? Life is to hard to even carry on and yes I am a teenager but not with a young mind I know life is hard I know there will be struggles but when you have no-one beside you to help you through those struggles it gets tough and horrible like you can’t do anything good like your always in the wrong. Which possibly could be true that I can’t do anything right however if their not related to me why should they have the power of judging me by […]

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Because love ruined me…

by littlerayofsunshine
written by littlerayofsunshine

I wish I never meant you. Because if I never meant you, I would never know this feeling that haunts me every day, this sickening feeling that feels like I’m incomplete, lost, missing something. And indeed I am, I don’t have you to call mine anymore, your “hers” and I don’t know which hurts more the things you tell me or the fact that your still with her despite how you feel for me.
When I hear people say “I love you” to their partners I wonder if they actually know what love is, how it consumes every inch of your body and soul, how […]

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Who Would Be There?

by thelost
written by thelost

Who would go to my funeral if I did it, if I really went through with it? Would they cry, spend a day mourning me like they did him? Or would I be another statistic in this world, another person put through the machine and spat back out? Would they think I was weak, would they respect me, would they talk about me, would they feel guilt for all the thing’s they should’ve and shouldn’t have said? Would my cousin cry? Would she? Would he? Where would I end up, who would lay me down to rest, and who would speak the final words, what […]

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Who am I?

by ALostShadow
written by ALostShadow

My depression is continuing to get worse. I’ve reached a new point where I find that I’m actually starting to enjoy this feeling of despair. I’m starting to enjoy all of the emotional pain, the loneliness, the emptiness, the sorrow. It’s strange, just a few days ago I hated it and all I wanted was to be happy. But lately, I’ve been craving it. It almost gives me a kind of high. I think maybe it’s because I’ve been like this for so long, that it’s starting to grow comfortable. Happiness feels so foreign now, that I just want to crouch back into my dark […]

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Well

by Extinctasaurus9
written by Extinctasaurus9

So Im new here. Kind of. Ive kinda been browsing this site on an off since I first found in in 2013. I don’t even really know why I’m posting here now. I’ve never posted here before cause i felt like I couldn’t. Like I wasn’t supposed to that it was wrong to. I mean what right do I have to come to some community an post about how shitty I feel?

But here I am.

I’ve tried to kill myself several times before. And I kinda think I might try again soon. Im just. Fucking done with everything. Im just tried of being used and thrown […]

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Help?

by ojx402
written by ojx402

Sometimes I wonder if my suicidal thoughts have a reason behind them. I mean, I know I want to die because my life is not something I appreciate, but does it have a medical reason? Could I even have depression? Could I get help?

I don’t know why I never thought of that before. I don’t want psychological help, but could it be a possibility? My family never worried about this kind of problems because I never let people know about my emotions, I’m good at hiding.

I’m really curious about this, but at the same time I don’t care. If I actually have some kind of illness […]

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Letter to Him

by LostandLonelySoul
written by LostandLonelySoul

Dear Lover,

I am so sorry that I couldn’t be a better girl for you. I am so sorry that I never measured up to the kind of girl you wanted me to be. I am so deeply sorry that I disappoint you on a daily basis with every screwup I manage to make. I am so sorry that I get scared to lose you, and I tak it out on you. I am so sorry. You deserve so much better than what I give you. You deserve a good girl who isn’t so broken inside, one who doesn’t let you down. You deserve a girl […]

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Need help from SP members

by theWhispersOfMySins
written by theWhispersOfMySins

For those of you that know Mike (snuf, snuffles, stabbymike, stabbylufagus), I am creating a gift for him and I could really use your help. It is a journal with entries from you here on SP. I have emailed many of you (and have several responses…thank you!) but some members I just could not get the email for. Mike knows a gift is being made (just not what it is) so lets hope he isn’t lurking these days! :p (and if u do read this Mike let me know lol)

Please email me at thewhispersofmysins at hotmail dot com

I know it is easy to […]

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God… Are You There?

by thelost
written by thelost

Is God there? I mean, there are tons of different opinions on this and any of them could be right. I honestly don’t invest anything in God or any other kind of religion. I mean if there was something out there why would we be here? Why would the site exist? Why would he punish us with whatever’s wrong with us? It doesn’t make sense to me but you know… I guess you could say some shit about the bible or whatever but honestly most of the bible is basically justifying why God doesn’t do anything, so it kinda sounds like a crock of shit to anyone with a cynical […]

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