Would be nice to be dead.
And I hope that it will happen soon.
I never really had a chance to regain my life.
Once you’ve been down, you stay down.
Some make it back up, some just don’t.
I’ve been struggling for the last two years to regain pieces of me that were. But no such luck.
Hurting myself in the ways I do is the only way I know how.
my aunt drove me to the store and only let me get 2 6 packs of cooers liight and two 24 bounces of cooers. This is an evoltuion from last week when I only,got to get two cooers lights. Here is the kicker, I. Offered 22 dollars, mower dude to give me 24 ounces of natural ice.he delicered’!!’!!!’!! Give me liberty or give me death
I know he had struggles though I know nothing more than what was posted over the past 15 or so days. I haven’t seen him post since his last message that said his time was drawing to an end that night after two unsuccessful attempts. He was lonely and without hope. I don’t know if he is around (though I hope he is) or not but regardless I still light a candle for him.
People need to understand that an ounce of happiness that comes into your life, will disappear in a matter of seconds. Theres no such thing as happiness. You can’t live happily ever after. This world is so messed up that people will convince your mind into thinking that your pain will go away, even though later that person is the actual causer of your pain.
People in relationships think that they’ll last forever and get married and have kids. No. Relationships don’t last. So I don’t really understand why people would put themselves through that kind of pain when they know that it’ll end badly for […]
I’ve attempted suicide 6 times in the last year. The pills are sitting next to me for tonight.
I became suicidal many years ago. I can’t remember quite when. I never acted until this year though.
I started self harming after my fourth attempt. I’m 57 days clean. The blade sits next to me as well, ready to be used.
My family hates me and I have no friends. There is no point for me living anymore. I don’t see why I hold on.
I recently stopped taking my medication. I just flush it down the toilet every morning. The medication makes me feel numb anyway.
I’m so broken I […]
I LOVE Poppy seeds so I bought 25 pounds with the last of my amazon store credit. It’s just orgasmic. Everybody should try it. 😉 Question who thinks I’m really fucked up?
Its been a while since I thought about suicide. I had a panic the other day tho. I went and got some help in july. Went to this psychiatrist and got some ativan for anxiety and he gave me welbutrin for depression. I told him I didn’t feel depressed anymore. Just normal sadness ocassionionly. Lots of anxiety but not the suicidal solution that used to be right there just last year. Idk. I don’t think I’m depressed. The welbutrin doesn’t do shit as far as I can tell and this is like 2 and a half weeks in. I think I have add. I can’t […]
this place seems kinda dead, but oh well. i’ve run out of good places to share my real feelings. i wonder if anyone here remembers me at all (prolly not). things are the same as they were before, except i’ve gotten more depressed and it seems like i’m also physically falling apart, although i’m only 18. my body does not work how it should, along with my mind.
last night i had what i can only describe as a panic wave or some kind of anxiety attack. it was just after 12:30 am and i had turned the lights out for bed. all day i […]
Have you ever been afraid of yourself? Knowing that everyday you will just hurt someone else. My life doesn’t just pain me, it hurts others too. I won’t back out this time. I have just lost all sanity. I am fully gone. Nothing is holding me back. Goodbye world, because the hundredth “nobody likes you, go kill yourself” was the last. Now you will say, “what a loser, nobody liked him”.
To be this, I’m the last
Of the Lords, saving the underground
Just leaving behind
The Goddess, pure, like the wind
I seek to, like a blooming flower
I want to go, home
How do I conquer the destiny
I’m riding, the one, on the Rhino
Like that kid, that loves WWF
WCW, and the new, world order
Order, like the name
Only piecing this puzzle like picking the leaves
From the ground
Hello guys. My name is Costy, I’m 19 and I am from Romania. I won against depression and this is my last post. I went to some train tracks to make fun of them.. such irony 😀 I love you all and I hope you will find peace no matter what you do. Goodbye :*
I m sorry to post such a ridiculous statement,but I had to.Last night,I got drunk on vodka and tried to hang myself again for the third time.This time I was pretty sure I will get through it.I even completed say 65-70% of the process.But as you all fine folks know very well that Lady Luck can be a very cruel mistress and life is like an abusive wife.And so when I was about to fade into eternity,the rope snapped and I fell down and piss my pants.So here I am,all worthless and wet but unfortunately alive yet again.
Moral of the incident:Always empty your bladder and […]
I wonder… I long for death.. and would welcome.it if it came so that it was not my who does the deed.. nor would I die without a struggle to go on.. this is in me. As I have proven for the last two years. I showed it with staying with the person who crushes me.. the person who took my sanitty.. or at least that what was left of it.
Some if if was taken by my family but at the age of 26 I was over it.. I mean it helped to meet her… The person who I wanted to marry. Cute, beautiful, sexy […]
Today is my last. I am tired of living alone. Unloved. Untouched. Unwanted. I am seriously damaged. I must be. No family. No friends. No one. So I am on my way to my parent’s graves. I shall die there. The only two people that might have cared. Sheila
of my 31 years on this earth, I had brief moments of happiness as a small child but never lasted due to my chaotic family situation. Maybe an average of just alittle under a month a year. After that – May 1995, July 1995, March-May 1998, March-May 1999, April-October 2002, September-December 2006 and November-December 2011. I’m not even sure if I was truly happy than ether because my life has been so miserable I can’t tell the difference sometimes. Those dates I pointed out were more or less when my life was not a living hell.
how about yall?
Just when you think it can’t possibly get any worse
my cousin died last night – motorcycle accident
RIP Mark
I’m telling everyone about this. I have support coming to me from all different angles. I’ve never felt as loved as I do now. The last period of my life I was suicidal I kept it all to myself whereas this time I am sharing my suffering and it feels good. I am showing I am imperfect, I am accepting support and advice. I have let my guards down.
Day 3 of my meds today, I am actually feeling pretty good this morning apart from I still have really bad insomnia – only 3 hours sleep or so last night. It’s the rolling around waiting for […]
I don’t know how I can stay afloat in a world that is so harsh and cruel. I can’t seem to pretend, like everyone else, that it’s okay, that I’m okay. I can’t “suck it up.” If I try that, I eventually explode, which is basically what happened last night at work. I’m too weak, too sensitive. No place in the world for someone like that. Even in nursing there is so much bullshit to go around. I just don’t belong anywhere. My efforts are for nothing.
I think about killing myself every single day, and I don’t think it’s gonna go away. I think about where I would do it, how I would do it, and who is even worth leaving my last few words for. I just don’t think I’ll make it passed high school anymore, I will be dead by then. And the thing is, I’m okay with that.
If my friends and family woke up one day and found out that I killed myself. Would they care? I don’t feel like they would honestly.
I’m okay with that. If I can make peace with that, why the hell can’t any of my family members stop bugging me about being single? I know I haven’t dated anyone since 2012, but judging how things went then, being alone isn’t so bad. It’s not that I haven’t gotten over the last girl I dated, I just don’t feel the need to have all of the drama I had last time. I’m going to die in a month, so why the fuck does it matter?
The only reason I’m ranting about this is that I am currently visiting some family and my dad couldn’t […]
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