1. I cut, but I cut on my stomach so there is barely any chance anyone will find out. I was wondering why some people cut their arms/wrists?
2. I’ve read on here that many people have been going through depression for a long time, if not most of their lives. HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU TAKE IT?? I lost my faith in April of last year and became depressed in July, so it’s really only been about 9 months I think? And I severely want to die. I just want to know how you’ve managed to […]
The Dweller Alone by Stella Benson
My Self has grown too mad for me to master.
Craven, beyond what comfort I can find,
It cries: “Oh, God, I am stricken with disaster.”
Cries in the night: “I am stricken, I am blind….”
I will divorce it. I will make my dwelling
Far from my Self.
Not through these hind’ring tears
Will I see men’s tears shed.
Not with these ears
Will I hear news that tortures in the telling.
I will go seeking for my soul’s remotest
And stillest place.
For oh, I starve and thirst
To hear in quietness man’s passionate protest,
Against the doom with which his world is cursed.
Not my own wand’rings—not my own abidings—
Shall give my search […]
I had the worst nightmare last night.
Some of you remember a post about me having a stillborn baby girl.
So beautiful.
Anyways, I had a dream last night that the world was being overtaken by primates. Sounds crazy but hang in there. Primates of all kinds. Orangutans, monkeys, chimps, gorillas, etc. they ran around screeching and destroying anything within reach. Meanwhile the sky was grey with only a few streetlights to reveal the streets. Before the “invasion†I was at home in bed with my boyfriend, very pregnant might I add, and proceeded to go into labor. The fastest and best labor in the world in my […]
I’ve faded down to the deep blue abyss what’s the point the voice in my head says. I’m too nice I don’t speak my mind I cut to get better i take pills knowing they make me worse I’m just waiting for the last thing to hit
I’m trying my hardest every day to be happy and some days my mind over powers all and i end up being mean to the people i love. I’m still struggling with my weight but i’m working on it. Thank you to anyone who responded to my last post, I’m thankful that there is someone out they that will listen to people like me.
Just got married , lifes worth living for . Spent the last 6 days on the coast with my new wife.
It saddens me so to read all the comments and realise – most people don’t understand us at all.
Society has been going on and on about how we suicidal people need anti-depressants. About how we have mood fluxes and that our suicidal thoughts are irrational, born from irrational feelings.
No.
Most of us have thought about this long and hard. We’ve tried it once. But at that last moment, we see a glittering, shimmering light of hope. Our choices to end our own lives are not something that springs from the moment. We think about it, we plan about it, and we’ve always found that it was […]
I hate my self so much I just want to die life is hell please if I could just feel better maybe I wouldn’t need to die anymore my life just causes pain and that is the last thing I want to do I don’t want to die anymore I need to it seems like the only ending
I realized deeply that I have no chance. Every aspect of my life is too damaged to keep pushing. Sometimes you just have to accept things, however painful it might be to accept that life has to end. I spoke to an old friend on the phone last week, someone I haven’t spoken to for over a year. She was my surrogate mother when I was 17, when I lived away from home. She will be 70 this year. She said she will call me again. She told me she loved me when we said goodbye. I know that I don’t have to speak to […]
NOTE:Â This really isn’t a good poem but i thought, i’d share anyway
Where are you?
I’m listening for you
closely and carefully, I watched you
I swore, i wouldn’t let you go
even when you insisted to do so
Hours pass on…
i still cannot find you. please come out and play
remember i told you, there is always a way
why do you hide?
is it because I cry?
or is because I know, you always lie?
The world still spins
make it stop
before I give up on my knee’s
and drop
no more running, come out where i can see
please, i beg of you..do not be […]
I’m set on my plan to end things but one thing that i have always wondered with overdoses …. tried many times and failed but what are peoples opinions, lots in one go or drag it out so to speak so a few and often? Just wondered what people found as I always end up being sick even with anti sickness tablets :/ it’s one thing that has always puzzled me, not od’ing this time but something that has played on my mind since last attempt
i’ve been thinking about killing myself a lot lately. mostly because of my consistent failures in university. (and there’s also the fact that i’ve just been properly diagnosed with bipolar ii rather than clinical depression after five years of taking the wrong kinds of medication. that too. probably.)
if my petition successfully goes through – and my psychiatrist at school assures me it will – then this will be the second semester in the four semesters i’ve been at university that i’ll have medically withdrawn from. when i’m not in the middle of a depressive episode, i tell myself that school isn’t worth ending my life […]
One more time won’t hurt,
I’m scum, evil, dirt.
So many flashbacks,
Boy there are stacks and stacks.
Which one to think about now?
How about the one where dad called you a cow?
Reach for the box,
The box is heavy feeling as if its full of rocks.
Flashback to the last time just how much you were sick
And how you felt like such an absolute prick.
Remembering the pain,
What did that gain?
Stomach being pumped,
For what, just because you got dumped?
These thoughts just won’t go away,
As for tomorrow is just another day.
I have had a plan since the age of 17 to commit suicide on the eve of my 25th birthday. However, as the years have passed by and my life has gradually declined into unemployment, heart break and despair I find myself contemplating my suicide earlier.
I am currently 22, turning 23 on the 15th April 2014.
I was blessed with being born to parents who had money through working from nothing to something. However, as is often the case, my Mother turned out to be an alcoholic and father, a control freak who smoked marijuana to control his tempers but which in fact made them worse.
IÂ began […]
I 100% want to commit suicide. Â This is not a new thing, I’ve been feeling like this for a very long time! God and my family has prevented me, now for the last 2years, the only thing preventing me is my parents, the rest doesn’t matter anymore. Yes, I’ve been for help, psychiatrist, doctors and psychologist. Been on meds. But i’m going to try and live through until my parents are gone, then me. I just wish it can be sooner!
For a while, i’ve thought this site might be useful. Sure, some of it can get repetitive, but it’s good for people to hear themselves, and get a candid response, not matter how juvenile. Now, I’m mot so sure.
I know wonder if it is monitored by some victimy-undergratuates looking to validate their projections. I spent a couple of hours last night responding to someone. It was my hope this individual might get a chance to read it when they awoke in their time zone.To me it was genuine and heart felt and did not contain *any* of the heated […]
Floating, staring at the sky,
telling myself I should try.
Can’t lose anything, or can I?
Am I afraid of her reply?
Will she say forever good bye?
What to do, but sigh;
I’m not that kinda guy,
just quiet and shy.
In the blink of an eye
last chance passed by.
What’s left is tears to cry,
and asking myself why
am I so bloody shy?
I wait for hours
I wait up all night
I wait
Hoping that someone will be there.
Will be there to help me pick up myself
Help me pick up my broken heart
Help me put it back together for the next day
But alas its like last night
And the night before last night
No one is there for me like I am there for them
I simply cant take it anymore
I have waited far too long and too much
I wait every night until 1-2 am
Then the pain comes
Crushing me
Making me want to die
Why am I so dependent?
Hello there,
I am approaching 40 yo and am looking for reasons why to live still. I find it difficult to be with people, and that includes anyone, including my parents with whom I have recently (2months) moved home with.
I have a long simple yet complicated story but will share to see if anyone can relate or perhaps offer any words of wisdom.
The story starts I guess about 12 years ago, when living with someguys, whom after a while I found not being able to contribute to stories etc, so would politely excuse myself from their presence, ie go outside for a smoke, say i’m going to […]
He is destroying me. He doesn’t even care that he is killing me inside. I feel so alone and I’m completely lost. My friends and family act like I shouldn’t care and that I shouldn’t be upset. I didn’t want us to end..especially not because of my stupid parents. I’ve been miserable for the last 2 months..He made me happy. I felt that he was my escape from reality. I could be myself around him and he didn’t judge me. He told me he loved me and wanted me. I fell into the abyss. I am now slowly fading away. I want to die. I feel so […]
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