I get a lot out of this website. I remember during my darkest years I never wanted to talk about suicide with anyone even though it was the only thing on my mind. I never wanted to talk to them because I felt like their first reaction would be to talk me out of it. I’m not at all angry at them for reacting this way. I know they loved me and they didn’t want to lose me but I never wanted to talk about suicide because….I don’t know. Maybe because they would never see it as an option. Because they would have their own agenda. […]
Why is it that everyday for the last 17 months I have prayed that I will die in my sleep? Why do I hope that I would get cancer and pass quickly? Die in a single car accident? I would have been long gone by now if I wasn’t such a coward. I am sick of hearing that it will get better. Its been 17 months already and I am too tired to keep up the fight. The pain only gets worse with each passing day. I have spoke with counselors at the VA and that hasn’t helped. Zoloft hasn’t helped. I have spent countless […]
I know I am responsible for my own life. But it has become so hard.
I don’t know if it is flashbacks or just sickening fantasies. It makes me sick. It makes me anxious. If it is flashbacks then it is reality and I can’t live with that.
I feel desperate. I need rest.
I am scattering into trillions of pieces. Not coping at all. Why would I have such sickening fantasies. What is wrong with me? But if it is true, what then. I don’t know where to turn. Exhausted
I’m so fucked its ridiculous. What’s a person supposed to do when they don’t fit into the ways of the world and can’t get what they need out of life? Just live miserably with no hope and constant heartache? I’m fucked in every way that most people call life, job, love life, sex life, marriage, kids. I’ve got no chance of any of it,I’ve just been fighting suicide crisis’s on and off for about 6 years and I always end up back here. Its not that I’m becoming desperate, I’ve been desperate for the last 6 years and its taken a toll on me – […]
Really suicidal tonight. I’m so sick of life, of hurting, of empty fuckin promises. Tired of loosing people i love. Its like there’s a black hole where my heart is supposed to be, nno matter what i do i feel nothing but emptiness and pain. though this is only my second, I’m thinking this will be my last post.
goodnight
Not that I have access to a gun of course as I live in England! .. Anyway, up until a week or so ago, I THOUGHT I had successfully over come the curse of the black ending which is suicide. I don’t think I had really considered it for about a year, which was really something for me as I spent 4 or 5 years previously to that engulfed in seesaw suicide battles of which at times really brought me to my knee’s, crying against the wall etc…
Anyway, I think this turn for the worst was brought on by a supposed friend who over the […]
joiner theory of suicide
According to the interpersonal-psychological theory, the desire for death by suicide results from the confluence of two interpersonal states: perceived burdensomeness and thwarted belongingness. While feelings of burdensomeness and low belongingness may instill a desire for suicide, they are not sufficient to ensure that desire will lead to a suicide attempt. Indeed, in order for this to occur, the theory suggests a third element must be present: the acquired ability for lethal self-injury.
”…1, 2, 3 1, 2, 3 drink
Throw ’em back, till I lose count
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier.
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Like it doesn’t exist.
I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry.
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier.
But I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes.
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight.
Help me, I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes.
Keep my glass full until morning light, […]
I will buy you this book, I don’t have a discount, there is nothing in it for me other than the interesting perspective I think it might offer you.
Its called “This is How” by Augusten Burroughs. The description is:
If you’re fat and fail every diet, if you’re thin but can’t get thin enough, if you lose your job, if your child dies, if you are diagnosed with cancer, if you always end up with exactly the wrong kind of person, if you always end up alone, if you can’t get over the past, if your parents are insane and ruining your life, if you really […]
He did it to me again. Last night, he saw the intent in my eyes. And he trapped me.
Showered with loving kisses, pleading words for me not to go. A couple years ago I would have considered myself lucky, to have found someone who yearns for me to live. I now know the truth of it all.. love is selfish. Each kiss he plants on my body is a new shackle tying me up to this life. Every inch of my body, covered in thorned threads, adorning me with love and blood, imprisoning me to this very existence. “Don’t leave me..” he whispers. “You promised […]
I don’t think i can live like this anymore, i’m losing my mind…i’m not living, this is not how life should be. I wish i was alive.
I’m considering jumping from the top of the building where i live at but i should wait until it’s dark outside…
Nothing makes sense now, this is weird
Take me away.
In two weeks I will be, once again, living in Phoenix. I rented an apartment and bought a bed. It remains to be seen if this return after 6 months in Mexico and 3 months in Los Angeles will be any different from the last stay here (August 2013-14).
I can’t seem to drum up any real excitement. This is a financial move. I’m sure you are all tired of hearing about how I fell into this deep depression and how much I just want to have this life be over and sleeping without loneliness, depression and physical weakness.
Forgive me if I bore you all, forgive […]
i hate that im in this life, that i suffer so much yet am still forced to pretend like im ok.. I AM NOT OK!!!
i wish i could scream this to the world and finally rid myself of this charade
First, there’s no such thing as a new person saying “I don’t know where to begin.” There is no place to begin, so saying that in your post means you’re overcompensating for using a different email. Second, if you talk about things that are not real, like buying happy pills or your fucking job, then you lose all credibility here. Third, every single person on earth hears voices it’s just that some people who love to judge and label things because they are afraid of not knowing things label and judge their voices to be somehow more special than self proclaimed normal people. The voice […]
I’m not the one with the saddest life or parent problems being physically abused or anyrhing. Si why do i cut? I have no real reason except for tjat i dont have reason not to. Smiling doesnt come easy which is exhausting because im the funny obe in my group just sone suggestions to stop or reasibing why i do would help thanks.
Today was so fucking bad it made me realize a lot that I’ve been pushing down and what’s been happening for years is not okay. I feel the only way out is to leave everything and just escape from life
I am not a coward. This is me drowning my breath, in a vast ocean of red dead redemption. I’m cut from the monstrosity of a soul, and I have spared none, in violating its ability to resist this temptation. Patience, while I stimulate a selfish behavior for once. This is not a suicide note, I’m not that dramatic. When I decide to stain the sheets with anguish, it will be the most peaceful and quiet release. Like the terrible silence of an antic gun. Like the […]
Hello. I am a 13 year old Female dealing with Social Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, and Bullying. Every time i go to school i get judged for who i am, today [4/22/2015], someone pushed me into a wall and called me a fat emo. Last night when i was chatting with my online friends, someone sent me a paragraph on how dumb i am, how worthless i am, and how i am a failure. I cut myself every other day because i know i deserve the pain. I skip every dinner to lose weight. My parents think i’m weird. All of my “friends” make fun of my […]
what is irony? irony is one’s credit union trying to sell life insurance to an imminently suicidal person!