I keep waiting for the feeling of not wanting to live anymore to go away…then I think I just realized it never will….
This is life now
Tag:
life
It’s Sunday night, and as usual I’m stuck inside. No one trusts me to go out anymore and I always feel as though I’m on lock down. I’m bored. I don’t really want to play video games or watch movies, I have been doing nothing but that for the past month. Hoping some of you out there want to lighten up the mood, weekends are hard for me and apparently that’s not so uncommon. Especially since I know there are things I could be doing but can’t because it’s so hard to travel where I am without a car. I should have asked to get […]
Tonight is really bad. I miss my girls so much. This is so hard to keep going through the days when the most important part of your life is gone, yet they are only minutes away and you cant go see them, call them, hug them, tell them you love them. I know ive made mistakes and done stupid things but I regret them honestly and truly. Doesnt that count for anything? I wish I would just die in my sleep tonight and be taken away from this hell.
my life is crap. it will always be. i have bipolar disorder. i will always have it. why should i keep going? im not even sad right now, im just being honest. I have two people who im living for, my gf and my son. I cant provide for them because of my issues right now, plus horrible economy. im poor, and black. i have health problems. i couldnt find love if my gf left me, which she might. I have 1 other friend. I live with my folks, and my family is sick just like me. Im thinking of killing myself, and writing a […]
After much contemplation, I’ve concluded that life is essentially pointless. It doesn’t make me depressed as much as it makes me apathetic to much that happens. But there is a certain freedom to apathy. It helps me see things for what they are, not through some emotional distortion, and see that life’s really not that complicated. In the end, enjoying life is the only worthwhile pursuit. And if you find yourself unable to enjoy life due to your circumstances, then you’re pretty much screwed (I’ve also concluded that life is inherently unfair).
Also, this site could do with a little DEATH METAL!….on the ukulele.
My demons creep back into my room and rip me to shreds…. Leave me with tears, scars, and blood dripping from my legs…. Who cares though right? I mean that’s how I live life everyday… With the people around me.. Who say they’ll stay?
I mean they said it’d be okay.. But honestly this “okay” feeling has yet to come.. So here I am once again putting on the same mask to hide my true expression.
Though I may smile it doesn’t mean I feel how I look… Looks can be deceiving.. And one might say that I’m a master of deception. I scream for […]
I wrote this for a project in english class. Its a story about my own life. I threw myself into 3rd person and became the friend I wish I had when this was all happening. I hope you enjoy.
id the same. I dont think I heard them ever tell him congratulations without there being a “but” after it. Maybe they did, but I’m pretty sure he would’ve told me about it. So, Alex goes through his life thinking he is never good enough, that failure far outweighs success and quite frankly, he was miserable. But, for some reason, I can never remember him crying.
In middle […]
Too many people telling me what to do,
but I am only one person.
So when I don’t do what they wanted me to,
they weigh me down.
They expect me to be happy…
But how do they expect me to do that?
I mean there has to be tears, scars, and pain…
lots of it…
So when you find the blood on me and the empty bottles…
Don’t be surprised to see it…
But be surprised when I tell you,
“You’re the reason.”
-Phe
It seems that pushing yourself 6 feet under would be a better feeling than this.
I’ve decided life really isn’t worth living, and want to die. I want to commit suicide while still being able to use my organs for donation, so I can at least save a few lives in the process. The problem is if I die and no one finds me right away then my organs will be no good. Also I read death by cardiac arrest as opposed to brain death will make it so my organs will be unable to be used. I figure since I’m going this route if I can do some good and save a few people in the process it would […]
Hiya for who ever has reads this. My problem has been going on for nearly 9 years now, out of a 7 day , say 3 to 2 days am happy full of life,loud making jokes,love my girlfriend full of trust , then for next 4 days am down in dumps don’t want to get out of bed,moody,paranoid,want to kill my self this has been going on for years and iv never been for help (and don’t plan to) but a came across this site and was wondering if any one has symptoms and can help ?
Many times have I imagined myself disappear like a bubble, and the memories of me residing in everyone who knows me will be erased as well as I vanish. It sounds silly, I know. I wonder whether anyone has ever had the same thought as mine. An ideal death is the kind that there is no pain to the deceased and no pain to the people who are left behind. I think my bubble theory should suffice. One can become vulnerable and strong at the same time for the people they love. This bubble has a longer life, but it is still a bubble. Its disappearance is just a matter […]
I’m an 19 year old boy who goes to college. I cant complain about my professional life. However, my social and specially my sentimental life is a mess…
Every girl i ever loved rejects me. I was bullied during my childwood so my self esteem never was very high, but all these rejections are turning it into a whole lower level.
When i entered college i said to myself that i will never fall in love during that time. that i was there only to learn and have fun. That promise didnt last more than a couple of months. i met this wonderful girl, a tiny little […]
Is it worth me posting my story,I’ve had a pretty shitty life so far,and I’m wondering if maybe talking would help..
There’s a lot of things bottled up in my broken self.
So Hey my names Kris or actually that’s my nickname I’m 15 years old and am suicidal a cutter bulimic anorexic mentally unstable girl. Let’s start at the beginning shall we? My shit storm of a life started in 7th grade where I was verbally and physically bullied by a 8th grader by the name of Leo it started out with the name calling teasing of my weight then it escalated to pushing shoving tripping sometimes kicking and punching but I endured it cause no one would believe me or so much as lift a finger to Stop it and then 8th grade came he […]
Why do people insist on celebrating the day you were pulled, kicking and screaming out of your mother, so much so that they do it every year. Why do we have to celebrate another year alive. Another year of underachieving and mistakes. Instead of moving forward with life i go backwards since last year. And this year its worse. Another year… Fuck it. Promised i wouldn’t ever see this birthday. Another promise gone…
Through the eyes of a child,
Everythings new.
The whole world around them,
All that they do.
All that they see,
All they can feel.
They learn it from us,
And they learn it is real.
They learn how to love,
They learn how to hate.
Growing each day,
They learn even more.
Some live in good homes,
Some get kicked on the floor.
Life teaches us well,
That we’re really alone.
Life teaches us hell.
To be as cold as a stone.
Do unto others,
As they would do unto you.
What a lie that is,
Coz they’ll still screw you.
In the end […]
I guess I realized I was different from the other kids around grade 4. I had big glasses, blonde hair, Scrawny, and a little bit on the short side. I grew up in a small town in a poor area in Vermont, pretty much in spitting distance of the Canadian border. My father is a city boy who grew up in Hartford Connecticut, My mother is a country girl from Brownington Vermont. Who I am is a direct result of their differences. My dialect is pure Vermonter, Until I get upset, Once that happens that Connecticut accent initiates full swing. Vermont is a strange place, […]
I love this girl and we recently got together and she loved me as much as I loved her, but a week ago she tells me to go to here house. Alone, So I did and she told me that she wanted a “Open Relationship” where she can go explore the world but still have me in her life.. It makes me feel kind of used but I don’t know I want to keep it the same, she still kisses me and stuff… but she told me the other day that she liked this guy…. and I almost lost it, like 2 days after we, […]
Please let me go already,my body my mind I can’t deal with them they won’t listen to me I’m going insane and nobody cares,I don’t want future I don’t want past I don’t want present I just want to disappear from this world,I don’t want more nightmares I don’t want more thoughts I don’t want more fears I don’t want more agony please let me go. PLEASE BEFORE I LOST IT COMPLETELY PLEASE LET ME GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!