if i know i have no chance for a life, should i kill myself now and get it over with, even though i want to live a better life but it seems impossible? i don’t want to kill myself. but i see no other way. seriously, i want to live. i want a life. but it is clear now that that’s impossible. why put all of my energy into graduating if it’s not going to happen? he’s made it clear. and if i don’t graduate, that’s it for me. and i have no reason to be around. that’s all i care about at this point. […]
Tag:
life
Doomed from birth.  Where is the justice in life?
And it’s not about karma there is no karma. I know so because I am one of life’s “freaks”. If I had a past life, I had the same essence, the same personality I have now. Otherwise I’d be a totally different person. I am an innocent creature. Never was a bully. Never was even clever or strong enough to figure out how to bully the bullies. But god made me a freak anyway.
Maybe god prefers the freaks.
http://www.thehumanmarvels.com/
I don’t believe in heaven but if I did- these people deserve to be there more than anybody. And if I were […]
“Confidence is 10% hard work, and 90% delusion, just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want”
I was fed such fallacious bullshit. Â Fetch that medicine, but I’m done ingesting it like a puppet, kay?
What I aim to disclose, is all this ‘you can get anywhere with confidence’ is going to make me narcoleptic in due time. I’m pretty jaded already. Â What I perceived is, whether my effort is made with or without morale; it ultimately ends up the same. Â Abominable or indifferent. Â It’s just so invariable. Â A situation where effort is put forth with or without confidence is so analogous to […]
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Dreams can give you hope when you’re hopeless, they give you reasons to hold on, they can give you strengh and energy to move on and overcome the difficulties.However, dreams they can grow BIIIIIG, and if they grow really big and you realize that you can’t make them come true…well…THEY SIMPLY RUN WILD!.They will become a burden, a heavy burden and make your life unbearable, then smash you into pieces.
The saddest and most haunting feeling for me now is realizing that there is no afterlife, reincarnation or unconditional love waiting for me on the the other side. Â My consciousness will not go on, life will cease to exist. There is no explanation for all the challenges in life. The bad will go unpunished- no such thing as karma. Â It was all just a fairytale.. I feel deep sadness over this realization. There’s no where to go.
Thank you to the people who give me advice,, here on this site,, you have no idea how many times it has acted as some kind of wake up call,, but I think I should mention that I don’t reply because I don’t want to turn this into a facebook type feel,,, that probably wont make any sense to anyone but anyways… thank you- you know who you are…
Change starts from me and then we go from there,,, but what do you do when you keep relapsing into the old “suicide is the answer” routine,, its one that I seem to fall into quite easily,, […]
Finally my baby is with me,
Prep all insurance, covered all form of debts.
Making a awesome home for him
Will spend all my time with him and leave with him.
Screw the Gods or anything resembling them.
It was my work, his effort, our promise that gave us some semblence of life.
Even its short i will live with him and follow him to the next.
Hopefully can be a father to him with a fully working body.
Here is my story to whom it may concern..
Freshman year of high school was more than everyone made it out to be. Cute older guys, big sporting events, parties, crazy fights, and a whole new group of friends to discover. I had straight A’s, a varsity letter, and more people I could call friends than ever before. All that was missing was that one special boy who had the power to drive me crazy. Valentines day I came home from school to find a message from a sophomore on facebook. He told me I was cute and he wanted to get to know me better. […]
well damn everything is falling in place now. i had some really bad troubles with ppl. and life and things have been really hard for me lately. to where i thought i really had no part in this world. but im moving i have a new guy im talking to and having fun with friends and stuff. life just threw me a curve ball. but it got back straight.
I was so careful with the measurements. Yet I still woke up this morning only to a hell of a stomach ache and spewing everywhere. I thought for sure I would be done peace at last, no pressures too tug at me all day long. Just bliss and as I sat there knowing full well what I had done I grew with joy. I hugged my mom and my sister hell I even talked about cars with my step dad who I loathe. In those moments I was happy only too wake up the next day knowing my curse is still not over. Like […]
Can you hear me? Not many can. A year ago, I became depressed. Life just doesn’t  make sense anymore. I could hear the whispers behind my back, and I saw the looks I got. I got pretty nervous; I was always checking my back. I stayed up for hours at night, writing letters and wanting the courage to do it. I wanted to kill myself.
I lived in fear. I wanted to leave this world; I was so tired of living. But I was scared of the consequences. I hated my mother, we always fought and I did not believe she loved me. I don’t think […]
If you don’t know by now I’m forced into the life of a loner I cant ever go outside my house without my parents constantly calling my phone every five seconds half the time I wanna put a bullet in my brain and end it all so I don’t have to feel this cruel reminder of what I could have but never will and the other half I wanna kill my mom she has done nothing but hurt me she has let me get severely bullied victimized and traumatized and PAYS someone to give a shit and my father who is a wanna be low down […]
I know that it feels like a good way out of the bullshit that life throws at you. but its the cowards way out. suicide has never helped anyone. and i know you dont want the world to see you but you are a beautiful person and you cant see it. you just cant see that there is a place beyond the bullshit. there is a place just on the brink of perfection and you will get there one day. the world is going to change whether its for better or for worse there will always be that happy place but killing yourself will only […]
I dont know what to do anymore. I feel as if walls are caving in on me. People hate me. And you know what? I hate me too. People that are around me think I have the perfect life. Im a cheerleader. I make good grades. I make everyone happy. Nothing can be wrong with me! But there is something wrong with me. I feel as if everyone around me hates me. Im not mad at them for that. I dont know what to do anymore. Im just done.
My last post suddenly blew up with pointless raging that came out of nowhere, so hopefully this doesn’t happen again here.
Anyway, I was laying here thinking about before when my priest told me that life is a gift after I asked why I would be doomed to hell if I killed myself…and I got to thinking, life is a gift, but if a gift is given to you and it breaks, and no matter how many times you try to fix it, it stays broken. You wouldn’t expect the person to hold on to something so useless would you?
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Alive-Out-Of-Habit.mp3
Why should it be taboo to kill ourselves? Just because other people don’t want it doesn’t make it abnormal. I don’t understand why people want to continue living with all the shit they have to deal with. Wake up, go to school/work/, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat. I’ve had relationships, but to me they’re more trouble than they’re worth. I don’t want to have kids. I care about my family, but that’s a tiny portion of life. It’s not enough to keep me going because I still have to be me every day and it’s exhausting. The rest is work, eat, sleep, fuck, etc. That’s […]
There are no more chapters in this life. No more pages in this book. Just the back cover, which is as hard as a rock.
It’s time to go.
Why did I have to bring her down with me??She had everything.I made her life worse.Because of me she’s not at her house anymore:(I finally know what Ima do.I start on the third so Ima work for a month In a half.Give some money to my mom and give the rest to her.As for me.I feel sorry for the maid that walks In my room.Until then I have stay to make things right.
This damn site is like the std that just won’t go away.
I get away but I always comeback.
I need to get my shit together.
Or let my shit fall apart.
Or maybe I just need to shit.
Either which way, my physical life is on the upward bound!
Alas, my mental life is slowly diminishing.
I’m missing the bridge the connects the two and makes everything fucking rainbows and butterflies.
Hello, again.