Will you listen?

Can you hear me? Not many can. A year ago, I became depressed. Life just doesn’t  make sense anymore. I could hear the whispers behind my back, and I saw the looks I got. I got pretty nervous; I was always checking my back. I stayed up for hours at night, writing letters and wanting the courage to do it. I wanted to kill myself.

I lived in fear. I wanted to leave this world; I was so tired of living. But I was scared of the consequences. I hated my mother, we always fought and I did not believe she loved me. I don’t think I believe it now. After a little while of the double life, I started cutting. And I liked it.

A few weeks after that, I crashed. My suicide attempts had failed, and now my family knew. They found out that I had been cutting a little while later.

I was scared of my family. I would freak out if I was alone with my parents because they always brought it up. I hated myself, I hated them. My cuts grew deeper, and I became more desperate. They always betrayed me. I could not trust my family.

at school my friends knew about me. In fact, more than half of my friends were suicidal too. We were the losers of middle school. My friends betrayed me as well by threatening to tell people about me. I could not trust my friends.

I had no one. Even now I am still breaking. Can you hear me? Can you answer? I want to talk but no one is ever there to listen…