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It’s a pattern

by Bipolar American
written by Bipolar American

The longer I live, the more I can’t help but think about how everything has the same fate. There’s a beginning, middle and end. From a term in school, a job, relationship, trip to the doctor’s office and even life. Nothing is forever, but plenty of things appear like they should last that long.

Life is composed of all these short lived events. One after another. They all bring different emotions. I want to know which ones are the best experiences that make you want to hang on for another chapter of life?,

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My horrible ”poem” xD

by rainbowtenshi
written by rainbowtenshi

If I only could

If I could fill your hurting soul with love and happiness,
I would.
If I could fix your broken smile and light your eyes with life,
I would.
Believe me, If I only could, I would.

I’m not good at this, I wanted to give it a try. xd
I wish I could make everyone smile, just for a second.

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Vegaterian

by darkwillow
written by darkwillow

I know a lot of people don’t eat meat but I’d perfer eating animals than plants.. Animals kill each other and hurt each other. Plants on the other hand make their own food, they don’t kill or hurt.. They’re completely peaceful life forms. Well.. Most of them..

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Let Tonight Be The Night

by Dallas
written by Dallas

Pushing 50 and have discovered (though known all along) that work is all I am. I had two real goals in life: have a job I would do for free and marry my best friend. I got the great job and then really set out in pursuit of that best friend. Along the way, not only did I fail at goal #2, but I found I simply lost interest in life, thus losing my love for my current (or any other) job.

Today, at work, it has really been brought home to me how badly I’ve fallen down on things at work. I’ve had the means […]

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by maryam bi
written by maryam bi

Sometimes I just wish, I could run away and hide.
No matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside.
How can I stay here and live each day a lie,
When all I want to do is close my eyes and die?
I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed.
I plead with you now mum, let me go instead?
I wish I could take you with me, to a happy place,
Whether it exists though, is time for me to face.
Can I ask for your forgiveness? For you to set me free,
It may seem ungrateful, but this […]

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Alone

by littlecat
written by littlecat

I am very alone in this crippling emptiness. Unfortunately, I don’t have it in me to take my own life, I know how brutal death is on normal people, I wouldn’t put them through it. How to live through depression and the lack of will to live? Is it possible?

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Mom and Daddy

by emptyalways
written by emptyalways

“Am I better off dead? Am I better off a quitter? They say I’m better off now than I ever was..”

Dear Mom and Daddy,

You won’t ever read this because if I wanted you to then I would be writing this on paper and mailing to you to get a week from now. I’ve played over in my head a million times how to say all of this to you and I still don’t know how, but let me ask you something..

Did it ever occur to you that I’m not better!? That I’m not okay, in reality I’m worse than ever, and I’ve just gotten a […]

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The Oscars, and the Worthlessness of Life

by rach
written by rach

Well we’ve all seen the red carpet show now and all the beautiful rich and talented people gathering together to congratulate themselves on their beauty, riches and talents.  In the end, when the earth has burnt away, when memories have ceased, what difference does it make whether I was the neighborhood “retard” or whether I was Jennifer Lawrence.  Pointless, all of it.  Yes, Jennifer will have lived a life 100 thousand times better than anything I will ever experience.  But one hundred years from now when we are dust, we will be the same.  Dust, useless quiet dust.  A huge downgrade for the winners in […]

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A good death is hard to find.

by Irreparable
written by Irreparable

The quote is from a favorite show… it rings true right now.

I can’t see going out in my home and leaving a mess for everyone to clean up. I’ve failed at everything I ever set my hand to do in this life, so I would at least want my death to be beneficial. I would want a good death.

I’m thinking about life insurance policies and how I could go out so there would still be a payout. Maybe vigilante style, and make sure to end up near a hospital so there’s time enough for my organs to be donated.

Honestly I would prefer a heroic death. Charging into bullets, saving somebody, something. Maybe […]

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i don’t understand…

by ashley.vanity
written by ashley.vanity

many times have i told myself that i will succeed in life and be a good person but there’s that voice in my head that bullies me from day in and day out. “you’re no good.”,”that girl is laughing at you right now for being such a retard.”,”Why are you even alive?” questions just flow through my head like nothing. i don’t understand how people expect me to succeed academically when i cant get my mind straight. I get it that school should be my only focus right now but at the same time how can i focus when i have therapy after school, […]

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how are you managing your suicide thought?

by 자살SoonerIsAlwaysBetterThanLater
written by 자살SoonerIsAlwaysBetterThanLater

1

Think about it. Are the problems that you want to end by suicide that awful and permanent that nothing could alleviate them? Although you may not think so now, you will recover from your problem or problems and live out the rest of your life happily. There are no problems in this world that can be solved by suicide.

2

When you are thinking rationally, try to think of solutions to your troubles that are constructive, and that will help ease the hurt you’re going through. The person attempting suicide doesn’t truly want to die — instead they just want the pain to stop.

3

If there’s someone who […]

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This will enlighten you!

by Bipolar American
written by Bipolar American

Originally I wanted to post some thoughts on alt.suicide.holiday but I cannot seem to get the narkive account to do anything. Everytime I try to post, I gets 403 error saying there was spam with my post. Oh well, some of the regulars there are a real kick in the pants like The Colonal Eric Paul Burke from Northville, Mi.

What drives me crazy is the perfect conditions that need to be present to take the plunge. If I’m too depressed, there is absolutely no way I can attempt ending it all. If I’m in good spirits, I want to do other things. Its very rare […]

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by hiddenface
written by hiddenface

Aww another day of this face I have to put on daily the happy to be alive face. When inside I am dark ,sad,alone crying I have been this way since I was 15yrs old I have survived multiple attempts on my own life been institutionalized once or twice lied my way Out this face sometimes is hard to keep up that darkness inside me overwhelms me and I go somewhere and take the mask off like now in a place with over 360 people I am crying alone.but I cannot stay this way the mask must be put on again I long to be […]

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I deserve to be gone, I think.

by Irreparable
written by Irreparable

I hate myself as a person. so many people make posts about how they’re so angry and so mad at everyone for ruining their lives… not me. I can’t blame anyone for any major bad things in my life… I’ve had it good.

The thing is, I ruined my own life. But you wouldn’t know it to look at it from the outside in. I have a good paying job, happily married, siblings/parents/grandparents all in my life. I don’t deserve my wife or other things in my life, but I’m a naturally flawed and ungrateful person so while I realize I don’t deserve them, that doesn’t […]

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fed up of life

by steven s
written by steven s

I’m 19 years old and ever since I lost my job in September I feel worthless. When I was younger me and my dad never really got on because he started working offshore and he wasn’t really there for me and I took bad to it. But he got me a job beside him and everything was great I was finally spending a lot more time with him and I got a lot more closer to him then I lost my job due to me getting bullied in the work place. And since then I feel worthless. My self confidence has went right down hill […]

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Bleh

by yukibear
written by yukibear

I’m supposed to be sleeping but bleh. I hate these nights when all that goes through my head is how bad I am, that I am simply a waste of a human being. The people I would call my bestfriends based on others’ definition are people who I can’t vent out on. I can’t tell my family because they won’t even care. How I act is completely different from how I feel, appearing to be bubbly and weird in a funny way. I don’t know how they will see me in this state and how I will be treated. I like to think that I’m […]

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Hopeless

by Andyrew83
written by Andyrew83

We, people who lack strength, keep doing the same things repeatedly. We’ve forgotten the feeling of being alive. We can’t tell if we are living or dead. Do you feel that you are “alive” now? At this stage, only a thin line separates living and dead.Therefore the sayings, “life is valuable, you should not commit suicide”, “if you stay alive, everything will have a turning point”, “your friends and relatives will feel sad for your death, so you have to stay alive” can all be put aside; these are not convincing anymore. The convincing words which can stop one from committing suicide vanish; the signal […]

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