how are you managing your suicide thought?

“Are the problems that you want to end by suicide that awful and permanent that nothing could alleviate them?”

Yes. I cannot control other people, and so there is nothing *i* can do, to alleviate the problems that require other people to cooperate with solutions.

“Although you may not think so now, you will recover from your problem or problems and live out the rest of your life happily. There are no problems in this world that can be solved by suicide.”

False. “Being in this world” can only be solved by death. Being in this world, is the problem, once you remove the possibility of solving what isn’t yours to control, but continues to involuntarily affect you.

“When you are thinking rationally, try to think of solutions to your troubles that are constructive, and that will help ease the hurt you’re going through.”

Been there, done that; the only potentially effective solutions are not possible to enact without the cooperation of others, whom i cannot control or convince, and are therefore invalid. Ergo: there are no solutions.

“The person attempting suicide doesn’t truly want to die — instead they just want the pain to stop.”

True… but in lieu of applicable solutions, there is no way to stop the pain.

“If there’s someone who cares about you, you should talk to them about your suicidal thoughts. Many people have experienced thoughts of suicide, it would be a good idea to talk to one of those people to get over it.”

This is a very volatile can of worms; talking to non-suicidal people about suicidal thoughts, causes a stigma-based prejudice, and can even result in being shunned by those very same people who claim to “care,” not to exclude the possibility of being thrown into a padded room and pumped full of experimental substances, and being pressured to say whatever they want you to say, in exchange for the possibility of release from involuntary confinement… which doesn’t solve the problems at all, but rather increases the requirement to conceal them.

Also… “…to get over it.” LOL. Yeah, like talking to someone who doesn’t understand and will shun you after the revelation of your true feelings… is going to help anyone “get over it.” Who wrote this? Clearly unqualified.

“If you’re really close to committing suicide it might be a good idea to admit yourself to some kind of hospital where they can monitor and stop you from killing yourself and keep you safe so you don’t become a victim of suicide.”

I feel my previous statements already addressed this. When someone is ready to go, forcing them to stay to continue to experience irrevocable, involuntary anguish… is not “saving them.”

“Does any problem, thing or person have the control of your happiness and decide whether you’re happy or not? NO. You have control over this person and nobody has control over it and can decide it for you.”

Whether any other entity controls my ACTIONS and CHOICES (which things are chosen from what is available, but not which things are available to be chosen), there are indeed many other people whose choices and actions can actually “control” or impede or disrupt or obstruct, even entirely prevent, my happiness. Happiness isn’t a decision… it’s a state of mind and body, which relies upon prerequisites which can be prevented by the interference or lack of cooperation of others. I only control ME, not everyone else… and unless you happen to exist in an isolated microcosm, and are not subject to the impacts of the choices of others, upon your shared environment… then “what other people think and do,” does actually matter, a lot.

“Will your decision affect others?”

Of course. Just as their decisions affect me, regardless of my opinion.

“While the pain may have stopped for you. The amount of grief that your relatives will feel will last their lifetime.”

It’s not about them. And, if my problems cannot be solved, due to lack of viable solutions, then MY grief, anguish, pain, torment, will persist for the duration of my existence. People like to try to make it about them… but it’s not. And we all know other people make choices to do whatever they feel they want, regardless of how it may negatively impact others.

“Do you want your pain to go with them for the rest of their lives?”

No, but sometimes the only available solution carries side effects and consequences, as we’ve already covered.

“Or would you rather work it out and get rid of the pain from your life altogether?”

Of course, wouldn’t we all love to have wonderful pain free lives? We have already covered the lack of viable solutions. A pain free life is a fairy tale, and not a plausibly attainable goal.

“You may be tired and want a break, but suicide is permanent. Consider taking a vacation if really needed.”

This one infuriates me. If i could “just take a vacation,” do you think i’d be depressed? If i could just… decide… to just not do whatever i have to do to survive and fulfill obligations imposed upon me by others… don’t you think i’d just decide that, and choose to free myself from unnecessary obligations?

“You are the owner of your life, of which you only get one.”

Of course i am. And mine is ruined, and without recourse. When i decide i no longer want to experience arbitrary suffering without any possibility of acceptable gains, then it is MY CHOICE to opt out, regardless of whatever anyone may think or feel about that.

“Your existence is special.”

Yes and no. Special due to rarity principle, vulgar due to iterative quantification; there are more than 7 billion other humans alive at this moment, and we are more similar than we are different. We are superficially unique, but fundamentally, relatively the same. There is nothing particularly “special” or beneficial about my existence. The type of “special” you’re talking about, is irrelevant in the face of the torment i am required to experience, just to continue existing… not to mention the fact that i am unable to truly live.

“Why don’t you leave that thing, situation, or problem which forces you to finish your life. And start a new life in a new place with new people in a new working environment.”

LOL… as if such things are plausible or “doable.”

“Is the condition of being troubled and confused the best to be in when you make this most important decision in your life?”

Of course not. But there is no alternative; it’s either this or nothing. I don’t think i’m confused at all, though i am indeed deeply troubled.

“You know your problems and think you know where you stand…”

There is nothing of which i am more certain; i have the best possible view and understanding of my own problems, because i experience them incessantly, and have no choice but to learn them as thoroughly as possible. I know exactly where i stand.

“…but you certainly don’t know what will happen when you kill yourself since you have never died before. Ignorance is not a good basis to dive into death.”

Sometimes you don’t need to know what will happen after… you only need to know what must stop being allowed to occur, Now. It is not ignorance that is the basis, it is being trapped, with your back against a wall, like a cornered animal who knows… you have to fight for your life, even against seemingly impossible odds, or you are going to be killed or captured and/or tortured. You don’t have the luxury of worrying about “what happens after.” You can only think about what must occur now, because the circumstance requires an action to cease the agony. If anything, this is courage and bravery, not ignorance and cowardice. It is doing what must be done, even if it requires the ultimate self-sacrifice, and even causes extended grief to those who remain.

When a fireman rushes into a burning building to rescue a child… no one says “YOU DON’T KNOW YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BURN TO DEATH!” They say: “he’s a hero.” Even if he fails, he risked the ultimate price to achieve the preventing of suffering and destruction to another’s life. It’s not because he doesn’t know what could happen… it’s that he’s prepared to do what is necessary to make a corrective action to a potentially and likely devastating problem.

So… for a tormented, suicidal person, to be disallowed from running into that burning house to try to save themselves from a lifetime of burning alive… and to save others from having to watch them writhe… is the wrong thing to do.

I like David Foster’s burning building analogy: it’s not that people really want to die, or that they’re not afraid to die… but that death is the only possible outcome, and jumping is less horrible than burning alive.

When every available choice is horrible, and there is no way to avail a non-horrible alternative… you pick the least horrible one, and go with it. Sometimes, suicide is that least horrible choice, because it avoids a lifetime of inextinguishable burning. It is often the ONLY thing that can extinguish those internal flames, which endlessly torment so many of us.

But on that note: i agree that it’s best to try as hard as possible, to find a better option. You should make sure there is no better option that can be chosen, prior to choosing a final exit.