My husband hid the razor blades from me so I went and took a Lighter and put the edge to the flame then to my outer thigh i find i like this method better then cutting it leaves no real mark just a red spot that hurts when i touch it. I like the pain its what i deserve . i like the cutting too i left no scars but i liked the blood now i Like the pain.
Lighter
Everyday
He did it again. I guess I should be greatful. Last time he poured oil all over the out side of my car with me in side and held a lighter to it and told me to get out. This time he only strangled me and fractured my knee.
I know I need to die but I don’t want to do it by his hand.
Well this is basically an update of how i’ve been and where i’m at in life. I have turned 15 and my depression is eh more or less better, it isn’t as constant as before and now it’s more of a few days a week or so. My mother has found out i self-harmed and has told my doctor which created a huge shit storm that included me talking to a social worker and seeing a psychologist. Well i saw this psychologist and it was not what i thought it would be. She was very nice and fairly young and i went once a week for […]
The first time I tried to commit suicide I was relatively young. Thinking back, I’m not sure why I tried. I just got so tired of living. It’s not that I had no friends, I had a bunch, but I didn’t really have any real ones. I knew my friends talked about me behind my back, we all did. It wasn’t the fact that they did it, it was just that they said such horrible things about me and acted so nice to me. Then another something happened at home. My mom and I fought so much, it was horrible. She would scream, yell, tell me […]
i got a girlfriend! woohooo. asked her out on tuesday. she said yes. so now me and her are together.. but shes pretty busy so we dont get to hang out much.
i told one of my friend about how i have a girlfriend and hes like “what? but you’re not a lesbian.” and that just pissed me off. yah im not a lesbian. im pansexual.
i burnt my finger last night.. got bored so i was melting plastic with my lighter and it dripped onto my finger, i hope it doesnt get infected..
got a new look, more punk now and i LOVE it. tho i do […]
I’m 18, and some days I do not know why I am alive. I have considered death when I’ve been at my weakest. I’ve wanted to go to the beach drunk & walk out into the water as far as I could go and just let go of everything. Let the waves take me away. I’ve wanted to overdose on my Zoloft. And when I really can’t handle anything I take a lighter to my left arm and burn myself. my arm is scarred up now. I HAD a boyfriend from April to this Sunday. We’ve been on and off for the last three months. […]
 The very first time i had ever cut my self on purpose was when i was 11 with a shaving razzor I saw my sister that was visiting from Tennessee kissing my nieghbor and i dont know why I felt even that young that cheating on someone was and is wrong but i remembered my brother telling me something about cutting helps some times so i grabed my dads shaving razzor and broke it apart and started cutting downward pretty deep it stang for a while and kept stinging for days but after i thought about it in some way it did help so i […]