Hello. I am a 13 year old Female dealing with Social Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, and Bullying. Every time i go to school i get judged for who i am, today [4/22/2015], someone pushed me into a wall and called me a fat emo. Last night when i was chatting with my online friends, someone sent me a paragraph on how dumb i am, how worthless i am, and how i am a failure. I cut myself every other day because i know i deserve the pain. I skip every dinner to lose weight. My parents think i’m weird. All of my “friends” make fun of my […]
Tag:
lose
I lie here trying to get myself to understand why I so badly need to destroy my life tonight. I have pondered on every explanation as to why I want to watch my own blood flow like a river around me. I have a loving family that would protect me regardless the reason, a house which provides me with ample physical comfort, and a friend who would never think of judging me. I have so many reasons to live, and so many things to lose. I can tell myself that many times, but I can’t seem to accept it emotionally.
sanity can fall so abruptly, with such disarming ease, and swifty become a casualty of life,
we are so quick to allow all things tragic that alight on all sides of this life to hold sway,
most of which we musnt only bear but abide by so it naturally follows that from time to time we
might hope for some permanent respite, and think sweetly upon death…. all have felt this way,
some more than others I suppose. this can be chalked up to the human condition, for us to feel as
though we’ve been cheated
God closes his eyes, breaths in deeply, so many […]
so long to all my friends everyone of them met tragic ends with every passing day i be lying if i didn’t say that i miss all to night and if they only knew what i would would say if i could be with you tonight i would sing you to sleep never let them take the light behind your eyes one day ill lose this fight as i fade in the dark just remember you will always burn as bright be strong and hold my hand time becomes us, you’ll understand we’ll say goodbye today and sorry how it ends this way if you […]
I thought I was gone from this site, it’s been over a year. I thought things were looking up, but I’m still a failure. I thought I had already lost everything, but I’m about to lose more. I am so overwhelmed and hopeless. I have done everything I can do to build myself up, but it always comes back to this. I’m tired of feeling afraid all the time. I don’t really want to die, but I have exhausted all other options. It’s been so long, decades. There are people I love, far more than I love myself. So I keep on, keeping […]
This is a pretty self-indulgent post, sorry. You people are hurting, and deserve something other than a selfish teen’s rant. Please stop reading if it’s wasting your time. It just helps to scream, sometimes. This really belongs in a journal, rather than a forum. Here goes.
I’m hurting others right now. My mother’s saddened, my grandmother’s angry, my aunt has lost respect for me. I’m dressing a certain way and it’s hurting them. My mom’s fighting an eating disorder and my guy clothes are bothering her – hell, I’m her only daughter, so that’s one more thing drifting away from her.
My grandma sat me down and […]
Dear ole friend:
We were bullied together. This bonded us.
We fought with each other. This strengthened us.
We teased each other. This helped us.
Your mom killed herself. This broke us.
You won’t talk to me. This hurts me.
I wish I was your mom. Then you wouldn’t die.
But I know. You’re just like your mom. I just hope I can wait until after you die so you don’t lose two people in the same year.
I used to hate you for trying to be my friend. But you finally made it.
I’m gonna miss you. Bye…
~Me
You’re everything to me, No more as I wake from this perfect dream…
Can I not stay and live this lie? For I, must think, only of myself
And to think that you will not be scared or surprised I severed all these ties
This is the end. I’ll lose myself in anguish for tonight, help me get over you.
I feel so numb to see this bitter end, It has come to this end of beautiful illusions
Broken pieces will not mend, to save our past now.
This is the end.
i am more then a year very suicidal,im just suffer,empty.
i have a good life,hobbies,good friends ,im not rich but i can get want i want,good grades in school (high school) and have a weekly routine.
i read all the advice and nothing works for me (except a psychologist that i havent tried).
i promised to my girlfriend to not do it but it feels impossible, i start to realy lose myeslf.
what to do?
sory for my shitty english grammer .
It’s hopeless. I’m going to fail and lose everything. I don’t want to go through this, but I don’t have a choice, and failing is inevitable. I just want to get away.
night
a never ending night rains down
darkening all things mortal
nothing else can be seen
but farewell whispers
curling into the night
fogging the air
everything will
disappear
misappear
contorted in appearance
with little interference
nothing to turn back to
but a darkness only night can consume
consume your soul
why stop it now?
slip into the trenches
and drown in sorrow
there is nothing left to lose
Don’t you just love those nights people trying to pull you down making you feel stupid for saying it in the first place. When you already got fucking enough on ur mind as it is. I am about to lose it……
Dear Lover,
I am so sorry that I couldn’t be a better girl for you. I am so sorry that I never measured up to the kind of girl you wanted me to be. I am so deeply sorry that I disappoint you on a daily basis with every screwup I manage to make. I am so sorry that I get scared to lose you, and I tak it out on you. I am so sorry. You deserve so much better than what I give you. You deserve a good girl who isn’t so broken inside, one who doesn’t let you down. You deserve a girl […]
My mother resents me so much. She always has. I was always the reble, the introvert, the undesirable fat one, whenever the family was dressed for an occasion, I was left home alone. So many nights I wished somebody would’ve just broken in and murdered me. Now I know for a fact my mothers life would be ideal without me. Her words tear me apart. I want to fix myself and lose weight and be confident for once in my life but she could care less. I hate living like this. I wish someone would end my miserable life, I would be erased and forgotten […]
Hello, I am new here.. I’m really not too sure if anyone will see this but it is my only shot.
Since I was younger, I haven’t really had any friends. I have always tried to sit next to a group of people, but I have never fit. I seem off hanging with other people. I try to seem not lonely, but it doesn’t work. I have been bullied for 5 years, by people I have never spoken to, i really wish i was intelligent as the other people at my school, but i’m not.
a lot of people talk behind my back, and I’m really not […]
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you.
No, I don’t want to fall in love with you.
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and I.
Nobody loves no one.
My tears can’t stop falling,
And it feels like dying.
Please someone tell me how to stop loving someone so much. So fucking much. Should I tell him? I don’t want to lose my best friend ever. I’d prefer to be miserable for the rest of my life instead that he stops talking to me and treating me like his best friend.
Bubbling Boiling , deep inside.
Waiting praying, to see the light.
Whispered nightmares, a tale within.
One bloodied mess, one last sin.
There’s only one way, to kill that cretin.
Death of it’s master, one way to be beaten.
Let it out, or make them pay.
A sacrifice surely, one i’ll not make.
For we like this realm, Him and I.
So I let him control, my rotted insides.
There’s only one note, I must recall.
I’m that daemon, Which hate’s it all.
He’s my king, as I for Him.
“One bloodied mess, our very last sin”
I have five more days. If I don’t complete the blood oath by then, i’ll lose everything. My wrists are going to […]
I don’t understand where the surety of my identity went to.
To lose my husband of 37 years to a car crash that changed the lives of so many is not as consuming and confusing as the loss of my adored, trusted, loving little brother to abandonment. I have loved and been devoted to my brother for all of his 56 years. I trusted his love and devotion to me without question. He is the person I would trust with the lives of myself, my children and grand children. He is the executor of my will and was so for my late husband (in case I died at the […]
But I’m so messed up I can’t even let people help me. It’s times like these when I’m sat in my room alone crying and wanting to scream and just get out of this horrible mind of mine when I actually start thinking I need help. I need someone to tell me what’s happening, what’s wrong, and how to make this stop. But I can’t. Nearly a year ago I had a counsellor at school for 5 months. For 5 months I didn’t say anything. I felt trapped. When she would ask me questions I’d sit there like an idiot staring at the desk. I […]