Even my love, the one person I always count on to be there to catch me, is sick of me.
“I didn’t mean to ruin everything.”
“I know. Â But it happened anyway.”
I
Know
I’m
Useless!
You dont have to remind me!
I haven’t cut in over 5 months but I want to. Â I’ve wanted to stop starving myself but maybe if I keep losing weight he’ll find me lovely enough to keep.
I don’t give my heart away lightly. Â Please don’t break it…
I am 14. A freshman. On the crew team. Go to a well known school. Get good grades. I do what I need to do to get through highschool. But, everything I do is not good enough for my parents. It all started when I was born. Adopted. Great huh? Although, I grew up thinking I was born to these parents, biologically. Soon to figure out I wasn’t. Heartbreaking. I fought through all the pain of feeling not loved. Until 2009, when my “mothers,” father died. He was my one and only.He kept me sane. I told him everything. He told me everything. It was […]
the warm fuzzy feeling i had last week didn’t last too long. the feeling that maybe life isn’t such a bad thing and maybe there was hope for the future. my talent for self sabotage rears its head again. it is a talent rooted in self protection. always waiting for the other shoe to drop. no good deed goes unpunished so to speak. if i feel good about myself and life karma always seems to find a way to kick me in the ass. i tell you god is one twisted mofo. but as i am constantly reminded i am still here. can’t be all […]
I honestly don’t know where to begin. I know this isn’t where I thought I would be, at 34. Writing an anonymous blog about how the scope of my life suddenly seems meaningless.  I’m tired of smiling on the outside when I’m crying on the inside. I’m tired of helping people through all their misery and pain, yet they forget to help me when I’m in need. I’m tired of work, and the stress it has caused me — but I’ve gone too far. I’m too accomplished that leaving would cause all the would-be supporters to clamor, “you’re such an idiot for throwing away your career.” […]
Every time I get on the scale, I cry. I am losing weight but not enough. It’s taking all of my strength not to kill or at least cut myself right now. I want to be a fucking model, and I have thighs that touch. Disgusting… sometimes I feel there’s no hope for me.
Up till now, i have always tried to change my life.
I have tried to be consistent, in everything but failed..in everything.
Everything i try from losing weight to even brushing my teeth ends up not being done, and im sick of it, im sick of it all, life is a god damn chore that i don’t want to join, its sucks,i have no one else that understands me, no one, all i have are idiots around me, my family and friends will never understand me and how painful it is thinking this way, getting up to wash your face feels like climbing a mountain.
I will never […]
So, I went out into the world today. Crazy, I know. I didn’t even give a shit if I looked like a zombie. I didn’t try to put on a happy face or smile at strangers or laugh needlessly. I was myself. I was my emotionally drained self. I felt like I wasn’t really ‘there’ today. Not like an out-of-body thing, though. Ugh, I don’t know how to explain it. One of the things I did today was return a pair of jeans that were too loose. I now have $28.00 to my name. Yay. I’m going to hold on to that 28 dollars like […]
I am a shy eighteen year old girl, and have been a victim of bullying for the past nine years.
It first started when I was in the 5th grade and had moved to a new school. I was allocated a new friend to help me find my feet, but instead I had someone who would emotionally abuse me for the next three years. I told my mom in the 7th grade – she said she was mad at my “friend”, but she never did anything about it. All she could say was, “It’s a phase; it’ll pass.” I never told her about the other girl […]
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