I can’t stop thinking about it. For hours now… It’s on my mind. I just want to be away from it all. I feel like I can’t do this. I don’t know what to do any more. I’m trying to make it through one day at a time. I can’t shake this thought. I’ve thought it all the way through. I am debating almost every day now. I know better, but I am so close. I have reached out for help and tried to help myself in every way that I can. Nothing is working. I really fell worse. Like I’m digging myself a hole.
Tag:
Lost
I feel like I am at the end of my rope….like there is no point trying anymore. I used to cut. Not really for the trying to kill myself but just to make all the pain stop. I have a chronic condition which leaves me in a lot of pain. I am only 23, but I have to face this the rest of my life which I hope will end sooner rather than later. I am so tired of everyone saying I am not sick and that I feel no pain just cause I am young and pretty. I am just so exhausted. I got […]
–Fictional work of a delusional nobody—
Hello and the fact that you’re reading this means that you were the poor unfortunate bastard who found my body(i’m terribly sorry about the mess the envelope in my pocket contains money for a cleaning service and there business card).
Now on to business shall we, where were we , ahh yes you’ve found me, now im guessing you are wondering why what could have possessed me to do such a thing well I hate to dissapoint you but im not completely sure why i did it either there have been many factors that have lead me to my decision but […]
I feel as if I am a defective person; mere trash that the common person uses for their own purpose then tosses away, like yesterdays newspaper. I grew up in a dysfunctional home. (Who hasn’t, right?) But I’ve had an extremely hard time making friends. (I am in my forties, so this isn’t a new thing.) My family is either ultra-religious & I am a heathen who doesn’t follow their God-fearing ways…so they outcast me. Also, my sibling has children and grandchildren now, too…but those are his only family. just his immediate…no sisters, parents, cousins, NOTHING…just his own tight knit unit he gets to […]
For years now suicide has always been an option, slowly becoming more prominent in my mind. All I want is for all my pain to end, the countless nightmares from a past that I brought upon myself. Failed attempts litter my life, with the pain of always being second best and always ending up in stupid scenarios. Having planned out every step of how I plan on ending my life doesn’t help any more, My mind so cloudy with doubt. I know I want to end my life but due to the failed attempts I find it harder and harder to be able to, it makes […]
I feel numb from my head to my toes. It hurts to breath, to wake up every morning and realize I’m still alive. I’m sad or maybe even just a little bit depressed. I cant want to stand but I don’t know how much more I can take….
My friends try to cheer me up, but sometimes… It just isn’t enough. After all
“Happiness is fleeting.”
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore… I don’t know why I’m still breathing….
I try so hard to improve but then I always end up failing… I can never stop being a failure, a stupid wide eyed disappointment…
I […]
I’m 24 I’m a college undergrad and have been dealing with depression since I was young. Seems like I have to be strong for everyone but I don’t know how to let people be there for me. Every time I turn around the people I get close to leave me. Starting with my best friend being killed in front of me when I was younger and I blame myself for not being able to do anything like it should have been me instead. Not to add when I was young my baby sitter and her brother would take turns doing things to me I have […]
I don’t know where to go from here. I’ve been a loyal and loving wife and mother for  6 years and I just feel like he’s ruined everything. I’m quite aware that I’m hard to live with and my rage is worse than a hurricane. I hate almost everyone and it takes a special kind of person to love me and apparently he thought that it would be easier to trade me in for a younger model. The problem there is that he’s figured out the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I thought that I had buried this rage and hate months […]
I must sound like a fucked up crazy clown. My torment, so unnatural.
Stuck here behind my labyrinth.
The guitar sounds heavy. Never reaching the melody.
For if it ever does, here, in our circus.
Why is it that you fall. Why is it that I fall.
Lost, killing to each other.
If you can add to the song, what would you even say.
It seems that our hearts have all slipped away.
This morning I was meditating on sexual abuse because I was abused until I was about 10 or 11 and I’m having a hard time dealing with the grief. And I was asking myself: why are there so many people who stand by and let it happen?
Perfect example: dad abuses kid and mom pretends she does not know, but OF COURSE she knows. She might notice her kid is a little “off”, but thinks they’re still upset about being punished for mouthing off last week. She sees the cuts on her kid (which the kind did him or herself)Â but buys the story about the […]
1. silly- kids used it to bunk school,gf/bf ditched, no money, not beautiful body, lost/no  job, not enough money, not enough talent,…etc.
2. realism-allowing thoughts that most people will not dare to because they are intense, conflicts with survival. Â existential nihilism, Lost passion to do something. All human thing look like a foolish.
Which category are you belong to?
This is the first time I’ve posted on this site, having discovered it only a few days ago. Well, posting for myself, anyway, because I’ve actually given shout outs to a couple of other people that I hoped could take the words to heart. But I continue to wear my mask, even here, in the presence of those who’d likely accept me without it. But, truth be told, I wear it around friends and family that I’d gleefully step in front of a bullet for, so it’s not entirely surprising to me.
I’ve felt the urgings of suicide for the better part of the last 25 […]
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray my life and soul you keep,
please take it now so I don’t wake
to live a day of pain and hate.
My future life is just to bleak so please, I beg you, let me sleep.
My end will mean I will not cry, my end will mean I do not weep. My pain and fear will only cease. If you will only let me sleep.
I pray to any God that answers me and brings me finaly rest and peace.
Please.
Well, where to begin. I’m new to this whole thing. I figured, why not express how I to a bunch of people I don’t know? So, here goes it.
Im 16, no I’m not perfect, Â no I don’t have the worst lifestyle a human could have, but it could definitely be a hell of a lot better. I am now a sophomore in high school, and if anybody told you that high school was easy, they’re lying to you. Quit while you have the chance.
I have been bullied since the fourth grade. Crazy right? Who knew that girls could be so mean. I was always quiet, […]
It’s all lost.
The hope.
The love.
The truth.
I only asked that I could be happy, and I get a life full of loneliness, hatred, and failure. And as I was watching my own demise, I saw how much I had ruined other lives in the process. I tried to repair it, I tried to come back and fix it all, but it only showed how little I could accomplish. In my downfall, I had friends for a short period. Or at least I thought I did. The truth was they felt sorry for me. They saw a helpless little shit, and thought they […]
I’m weak. I’m so very very weak and scared and just… useless.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m too mch of a coward for anything and I’m just stuck unable to move either forward or back.
My self esteem right now is at a point where I can’t see any road that wouldn’t lead to failure. I can’t do anything, I have no more strength to persevere. I’ve tried and tried and tried and all I am is a failure and I can’t pretend I’m strong and can’t force myself to be optimistic anymore.
I’ve always run away from anything hard by burying myself in books […]
Its hard when you don’t really have anyone to turn to, it can be a lonely existence
Over the last year, I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut when I’m around the people in my life, because I know they are no longer interested in what I have to say, or how messed up I feel, but I guess I can’t blame them, but the one thing that makes me angry is when they say ‘I know how you feel’ or ‘I’ve been through the same thing’ its not a competition but if each person suffered the same, one treatment would work for everyone
Lately I’ve formed […]
Hello all,
I’ve never posted on this site before, but I felt the need to make an account and make one. Â To all that is reading this; to all that feels like no one is there; to all that has contemplated life over and over again and feels the need to end things; to anyone that just needs to share their feelings to… I’m here. Â I have felt what rock bottom feels like and I have been in and out of depression, contemplating suicide a few times in my life. Â I will keep this short and sweet: Â the pain may seem never-ending, but it eventually DOES […]
Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??
by niki
written by niki
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
The sound of darkness. A grapefruit. Devour, and kill me.
One day. After we walk to eternity.
A walking soul of iron armor. Undead, in celibacy to Celestial.
I am, that I am.
Devour me. Kill me. Me and you, to infinity.