i’m sorry about what you all are going through. i’ve had a horrible uncurable mental illness for years.  my life has been pretty cruel. i was subjected to a hate crime that was pretty  much endless. i was happy once but i cannot find it again. my illness is very very cruel, l live with it everyday.  its very painful and hurts me very badly and i also believe i’m going to hell when i die. i’m not a religious person but this world was very harmful. we should believe that life was not supposed to be so HARMFUL to people but it was. i […]
Tag:
Love
I think it’s about time. There are people I love and were talking to – I wanted to talk to – but not anymore. I have nothing more to say.
My therapist called the police on me today. Rather than talk with me about whatever the fuck she thought they would do she just sends them over. I was shaking. Did she think I would tell them? Did she think they could do something? What? Nothing unless I would have said I was going to kill myself. They asked if I just wanted attention. That sounded good so, yeah, sure. If it would get […]
She woke up today feeling happy till she heard the screeching of her mothers voice. She had overslept. The kids were not ready for school and she did not have breakfast ready. She was so tired from the night before from having to meet two men.
She slowly got out of bed afraid of what her mother would do when she saw her. She raced quickly getting the small children up and on the bus. As they left she slipped the money onto the piano for her mother, knowing she was expecting it. She found it not quite fair that she had to sneak out of the house […]
the only thing keeping me from a 23 storey free fall is guilt towards my family.
their love for me keeps me in this pain. I endure it to save them pain.
this is my thought process.
crying, bleeding monster is all I know how to be.
i wish I wasn’t afraid of hurting them.
i wish I could have that free fall peace.
Just letting you that care know that I’m still here. Just been in a weird place lately and haven’t had much to say. Love you all <3
“In the end
As you fade into the night
Who will tell the story of your life
And who will remember your last goodbye
Cause it’s the end and I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid to die”
I’ve been really angry and full of hate lately, It makes me feel like crap when I take my issues out on the people I’m close to because nobody knows about the thoughts I’ve been having except the people on suicideproject and one person I know who doesn’t talk to my family and friends, I guess because they don’t know how I feel they don’t get why I’ve been […]
Unlike most kids, some nursery rhymes haunted me. One of those is Row Your Boat. It’s almost like… I don’t know. It’s almost like it’s about a depressed person, just going through life, feeling like it’s just a dream. That’s definitely how it feels now to me. Every second is just a dream. I’ll probably wake up soon, and I’ll be 8 again. My grandpa won’t die, and life will be perfect. Trevor will never have existed. Lacey won’t die. Nana won’t hate me. My mom will be proud of me. Maybe I can do something. But then again, I don’t want this to be […]
Last night I went to a folk-punk show and the last person I made friends with (mentioned in the earlier post I made… not someone who will ever speak to me again. He was nice to me and I was a pretty shitty friend cuz my personality got all fucked up for two years) was there, along with two of his friends. I felt really really shitty and guilty
one shot one rope one fall
the things that end us all
look out of the door in to the night
pull the triger blow out whats left
knock out the cher tern off the light
take the step let the wind take you
bight the pill brake the cap
tern on the gas light the fag
drive the car off the clife
not comeing back
fuck you all
all the day no whos calld
the reper by his rele name
and see whos the one to frame
so smoke the weed bern the casel
drink till you drop
this ant pritey cos life shure ant
no whos been droping the candel
lifes like light going out
the smoking emders that you find
blowing away in […]
well iv lost my friends to them calling me a atanchion seeker i was just lookinf for help thats all and james jump off the tamar brig copul weeks ago seems the ones who understand me kill them selfs iv spent mosr of my life all 16 years helping people and noe im looking for help ther trowing me away now that im spent of all my love and careing
its got to get beter right it cant get wors.. thats what i say to my self evrey day the lsd hs stopt working so has the weed and people say to me your still young you dont know […]
I’m bad at being a person, I’m bad at being alive. I’m bad at being worth it, heck, I can’t even survive.
I’m good at being a fuck up, i’m good at being sad, i’m good at having no luck, i’m good at being bad.
there are voices, and they yell, all the choices, and stroies they tell. there are demons, In my soul, and they eat me, they eat me whole. there are tears, streaming down, filling an ocean, i hope I drown. There is blood, spilling out, I really pray that, I’m not found.
I’m bad at giving love, I’m bad at giving hope, i’m bad […]
How the hell do you get a gun if you had a previous stay in a psych ward after a suicide attempt?
written by tupacorbiggie
How the fuck did letmesleep get his shotgun? Â I’d love to have a shotgun to blow my brains out with! Â ^_^
This is my story about how i had my heart broken a couple of times. it soon spawned a fear of abandonment in me and made me think i was never good enough. if you wish to hear how i survived my hardship then please read this.
I was born different from other kids. i chose not to give in to the social flow and i  lived how i felt. i had friends, a pretty good amount. i fell in love many times and had a few relationships. I grew up being who i felt was me. Sometime around the summer of 2012 about early June, […]
Today during creative writing class my teacher really wanted to read a poem I wrote about me loosing my best friend (well she didn’t know what it was about). I didn’t want to say no because it would have hurt her feelings, so I said “sureâ€. She started reading the emotion-filled poem out loud. We had a visitor in our class who, just from the few lines my teacher had read, was completely focused in and had an amazed look on her face. Apparently so did everyone else in the class.
As she was reading, I started to realize what the words actually meant to me. They weren’t just […]
can you imagine                                                                                                          can you imagine
a boy so alone                                                                                                               a girl so alone
he only had his thoughts                                                                               nobody knew the real her
a boy so sad                                                                                                             a girl so broken
that he no longer thought there
was a point                                                                                                she made her scuffed up
to this thing                                                                                                                       party shoes
look like they had never
called life                                                                                                                          been worn
a boy so full of love                                                                                                    a girl so in love
that no one returned                                                                                                      with this boy
except for one                                                                                          that when people asked her
which he didn’t even realize                                                                                  “oh what’s wrong”
she told them
‘someone stole my heart’
-e.m.
New here. Paralyzed from bicycle accident, don’t want to live this way
by bitbucket
written by bitbucket
Hey, I’m new here. I wrote in my profile about my situation. I’m partially paralyzed from a spinal cord fracture due to a bicycle accident.
I went from being a buf, muscled and toned gym rat to having shriveled arms hanging from bony shoulders, walking like I’m drunk and
needng help with everything, dresing, showering, toilet, etc. I don’t want to live this way any more.
I’ve worked hard in phys therapy and exercise to try to regain my abilities, but it’s closing in on 18 months, and
that’s when spinal cord injuries stop healing. So I’m pretty much stuck the way I am for […]
For the past three months I’ve been a recluse. I was in college, excited about life, happy, and i was in control of my depression. Now I’m too depressed to continue school, scared of the future, want no future, and I just don’t have the will to live. I don’t want to continue life. I’ve been suffering and I’ve tried to manage my depression with medication, therapy, and alternative treatments. I’m honestly willing to electrocute myself to cure my suffering. I spend my days at home playing with my dogs and watching tv. My therapist and psychiatrist are pushing me to get back into the […]
the deepis thorts of mine are just so well fuckt up cant some one be the sergun and cut the infectid part of my sole out i whant some one to shoot the guy in my head i whant to be free i whant to live not be like this imagen if some one stumbulld in to are world and saw the truth if thay feelt the pane we do woud thay be abel to take it are we stronger cos of the pane we feel i whant to think that imagen if some one did thow wecom to the iland of broken toys all […]
no respons not a thing
blood on the floor gun in hand
why coud a boy feel this way
feeling alone coold and dead
he toke a gun to hid head
didunt feel a thing just a bang
then wight then darkness
the war song of the centrey
we fort the war on drugs
but we for got the people who neeid the help
didunt her the yeps and crying
didunt see the bullits flying
just dead bodeys
the floor in blood
what a fucking nice naber hood
the […]
Wish I could be
your best friend
your sister
Wish I could hold
your hand
your love
Wish I could forget
all the pain
Wish I could remember
the lost days of my past
days where you stood beside me
and held my hand
while I tried to hang onto sanity.
Which I can’t do anymore.
Not without you.