everyone told me that being positive would help me through my recovery. everyone told me they would stay with me through thick and thin but they lied so now i’m starting to think that maybe they were just talking in their sleep. the problem for being positive is that there is nothing good about me specifically. i’m ugly, fat, and good for nothing. how am i supposed to be positive when these things are just the truth. and every day i wonder how much better death would be than living where no one even fucking cares and there’s not a single good characteristic about me. […]
I hate my life. I’m so depressed.. It all started about a year ago. There was this guy I had liked for a while and we finally started talking. The first few weeks, everything was great. We texted just about everyday. Exchanged the finest words. Things were perfect. Then suddenly one day it’s like he just forgot about me. He started tweeting about this other girl and it made me feel invisible. Once him and her stopped talking, we started again. Then another girl came into the picture. I hated seeing them flirt at school. Anyways, he’d flip flop back and forth between her and […]
What nobody knows about me is that my life is consumed by depression,  low self-esteem, and anxiety.  I originally wrote a long post for you to read that went into immense detail about my personal life and problems, but then I deleted it. Why? I deleted it because none of it matters. I have come to the point where nothing matters anymore. I don’t have any friends or any family members to talk to, and I have too much anxiety to talk in person.  At least this is kind of like telling somebody.
Everything in life feels like a chore. Nothing is enjoyable. I am a nineteen-year-old college student […]
Hello everyone, I have been on this site for a while,never really spoke about myself,not sure if someone is going to read this,but here goes anyway.I grew up in Brooklyn NY,im male Hispanic 36 years old.I never felt like I was a part of this world, I always felt different,always had different feelings towards people,feelings of compassion of helping others out.I never really understood why people were so evil.Why everyone just mostly cared about themselves.As a boy this is how I saw the world (and still do as an adult).Growing up I had 2 parents.For the most part my mother was always sweet and loving,never […]
Where do I start off I have a really low self-esteem, when someone calls me ugly I smile and I try to let it go.but I tell everybody I can that their beautiful cause i don’t want them to know how it feels this way i constantly think of suicide i cut and when i do it i don’t do it very deep just enough to feel the pain i cry myself to sleep and i ask god the same question over and over why am i still here? I go to high school and when i see the pretty girls i collapse i try […]
Sometimes I ask myself why am I here… sometimes I ask myself what is the point of living…. when you have no hopes or dreams , or future who do you turn to? a blade maybe? perhaps a razor? If you cry no one will have to know…if you cut yourself no one will have to see your scars…who am I? what made me the way I am now….why must life bully me? why can’t I be pretty? or rich? how can I tell someone what’s wrong with me…
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1 I only have 2 friends (well kinda 3 )
2 I have low self esteem (I’m worthless)
3 […]
I can’t exactly say when it started because I don’t know, my life has just been full of bad events snowballing until I finally released it all.
From a very young age I felt alienated from everyone, I felt that nobody was like me.
It didn’t help that I had a young mother, she had me at 14, Â because I felt that she wasn’t approachable. Also, she was often getting into new relationships which involved a lot of men. I found it very hard ad still find it very hard, to connect with new people so this was an issue for the first 5 years of my […]
Reasons to commit suicide
I don’t love myself or self hatred
I have low self esteem
I lost all my friends
irreversibly damaged reputation and social standing with family
future is bleak
No ambition or motivation to set goals
So much regret for pass choices and decisions
inability to forgive myself and move on
credit score is in the trash
hard to get and keep a job and contribute financially to household
burden on family members
I hate living day to day repeating the same shit (eat,shit,sleep,wake-up,repeat)
I hate being weak
I am fearful of what my future will most likely become (homeless,broke,ostracized,lonely etc)
Pain of remembering the past and unable to return
I hate knowing I am a failure in life
To get […]
I am still alive. now at the age of 21 looking back on what i have been trough and it starts making sense again.
I reached to the breaking point again and remembered this site from long ago and was thinking i should spill my thoughts here.
I never told much about my self from the few posts i made here and now i feel is the time to reveal some details about myself just so things would seem more clearly.
so what to begin with? since when i was a little kid our family had lots of problems. we never were a big family, […]
It helps to talk on here about my bad experience at college. Not only was the bullying embarrassing, but what hurt even more is how my father bullied me and his unrealistic, amoral, and unethical definitions of success. I hated that year of my life and I hated being psychologically bullied.
I feel like at college, I was a completely different person than I was at the amusement park. At the amusement park, I moved out of my parents’ house and said “This is my thing that I have looked forward to all my life. I want to be here and I am going to make […]
I feel like I need thicker skin because I’ve been feeling sensitive lately maybe it’s because I’ve been thinking too much. I feel like the little things bother me  for example I don’t feel beautiful at all even though some people may find me beautiful I feel like they just say that to be nice or make me feel good but I don’t feel like I deserve it because I don’t think I’m good enough to have good things there’s girls that seem to have it all they have:good looks, brains,they believe in themselves,chase their dreams,and most of all they don’t let people’s comments get […]
A close friend of mine did something similar to this on his page so I decided to try it too. The difference is I guess my suicidal thoughts and low self esteem started long before online friends or dating.
I grew up in a family of eight plus. We did foster care for two kids so there was sometimes an extra girl in the house. I was always biologically the oldest though. If you’ve grown up in a big family, then you probably understand where I’m coming from when I say it’s like survival of the fittest. And when the three oldest siblings are you […]
im on risperdol was perscribed it for anxiety fiirst couple daya on it havent noticed significant effects yet ..its used to treat schizophrenia which i think i may have. im hoping it.will take the edge off at.least of my paranoid thoughts.and anxiety.. hasase tried this drug? all my life.id had these abnormal fears and thoughts for example i still am.unable to finish high school do to my social fears. i have one friend who i can barely open up to unless im drunk
i have an alcohol problem already at 18. i am.very sensitive and the smallest comments.can upset . […]
There re so many beautiful things i would like to do in my head.but i know that my depression and low self esteem are going to kill those dreams.whats the use of good plans.when they never work out?live it as it comes right?yea! damn right
Here i sit in class, reviewing for my end of course exams.. and all i can think about is suicide.. Cutting, im thinking about using my scapel for the first time. The sharpness is 0.6mm.. does anyone know how sharp that is .. like if i were just to press it lightly to my skin how deep would it cut me? I know many of you are gonna tell me not to cut, and are probally gonna avoid anwsering the question i dont blame you. But i wanna know ive looked it up on […]
Well let me begin from the beginning…I was born in Ukraine and moved here when i was four with my parents and my brother, i learned English and life was great even though we were poor. Then we moved to a little town with a little school and life gradually started getting worse by the day, we had financial problems and my mom went to school when I was in the 9th grade, so she was always stressed and she would put all her anger on my brother and I, but especially on me. I’ve always been on the heavy side, and always have been made fun of […]
I don’t wanna wake up in the morning and look in the mirror to find another revolting reflection.
I dont want to have to change seveen times because i look unattractive in over half of my cloths.
I dont wanna be afraid to wear a bikini anymore.
I dont wanna worry about if i rain out of make up because if i didnt wear it i’d look disgusting.
I dont wanna constantly feel the need to look in the mirror not out of vain, but to make sure i look decent […]
Look at these definitions of depression on slango  so true but they dont say how to get out. We already know this stuff. Why doesnt it say how to get out? Or why we have depression?
‣ A state of altered perception where one sees the world as bleak and dark.  Feelings and actions such as purposelessness, disinterest, low self esteem, [self-harm], pessimism, suicidal thoughts or tendencies and a lack of motivation or energy may accompany it. It is not simply the feeling of being sad, but is a lasting state of mind that could be caused by a number of factors. Many health problems lead […]
Maybe it’s the way I look or the fact that I have a stutter that turns people off. Combined with having low self-esteem and poor social skills, who’d really want to talk to me, let alone be my friend? Every experience throughout my life has been nothing but miserable, and whenever I reminisce, I’m reminded of how much of a loser I was and still am. What’s even worse is watching my younger sister experience everything I missed out on.
High school was a complete nightmare trying to cope with my stutter, and bullying, along with having friends who did nothing but laugh at my disability, […]
Why should you feel bad about your weight? I really have anxiety over my body and I really want to do the same procedure as last year, just stop eating and exercising. Why should people around you comment and judge you because out of your weight. Just because you look a little different, so people will often bully and push you down mentally sometimes physically. I have tried, or rather trying to lose weight but it does not help. Today’s young people they only see chicks with slender bodies and large breasts, they never see the inside of a person … I feel crappy about […]
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