Yeah..it’s hard..
Physically I’m not doing well at all, even though I’m trying my best. I don’t know if I’ve ever had to try this hard before.
I’m grabbing the box of tissues for this one.
In the days since my wife left me, I’ve been on a steady decline with my weight and dehydration and seriously, I’m trying my hardest to keep it up. I’m a total mess so I can’t cook or clean for myself right now, but I need to eat. So I have to go out…
I went to breakfast this morning, by myself. Going with anyone right now is completely […]
How long until it gets better? I have struggled with bipolar depression for the last 2 years, severely. I wake up and I think about dying, I go to sleep and I think about dying. I just moved so I don’t have a therapist or psychiatrist yet but I have had both and went to them both every single time. Therapy once a week and the psychiatrist as needed. It’s not like I have done nothing to fix me… I even admitted my OWN self into the hospital to get better. I’m still sooooo severely depressed. No matter what I do it has not seem […]
I hate people. I hate living and I hate existing. No matter how much good you do for folks? EVIL always has the upper hand…remember that…evil always wins…for now.
Absolute reality, if it exists, doesn’t matter to the individual. What matters is the individual’s perception of reality because that’s all he or she knows. With that in mind, at what point does your subjective reality shift away from absolute (or should I say ‘collective’) reality?
This is what I mean: you might sleep about 6-10 hours a day, and the rest of the time you’re awake and conscious of reality. Well what if, through drugs or other means, you sleep 20 hours a day, leaving only 4 hours of “reality”? Do those 4 hours become insignificant?
I know what you’re thinking… of course not. Because our […]
this year i’ve noticed how many girls and boys have been hurt, and affected by peoples thoughts and words. i never really noticed it before, and it never affected me or my friends as well.
but now,
most girls think theyre fat and ugly, even boys too. which i dont get. everyone can be their own kind of beautiful. there should be no definition of beauty. alot of times, i see pictures of anorexic girls and boys online and people saying thats what perfect is.
then i see the same people saying society is fucked up and that creates the def of beauty and this and that and […]
he fucking killed me. how does it feel to know that you fucking had enough influence to make somebody else to want to disappear?! i am beyond hurt. i am so heartbroken i can’t keep going. nobody deserves this life.
why am i writing this? why am i writing here. it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t change anything. just venting. for what.
palying with friends turned into playing with blades. broken toys turn into broken hearts. best friends turn into strangers. happiness turns into pain. this isnt a phase it is reality. this thing about pain is it demands to be felt. i just wish i could have one more day with out being sad. its like im drowning and everyone above me is just saying swim. you see i cant be foxed no matter how many cuts i make no matter how many pills i take. i will always live in pain… theres not a thing i can do about it.
My life hasnt been living…its just been a slow and painful trip down to the grave….no one gives a shit about me…if I were to drop dead no one would care. Would anyone care to know why I want to slit my wrists every night? would it matter if I did???
because my problems are so contrast.
through this hell I became born. a contra warrior.
I am the dead Ash. The story of the black ash.
the story where at the end the sad hero.
what happened when it reached zero.
was there another realm. or did I fuse with Gengar.
what is the psychic world. I am a Gengar.
I can levitate and fly. I have psy-power.
I can control and manipulate things and matter, and even people.
A freaking Gengar. What in the psychic world.
There used to be a Gengar, when he found the holy spirit.
Together, they went to go save the world.
Alakazam, is the guru of peace.
I type with […]
I’m not gonna go out of my way to kill myself, but I wouldn’t really care if something happened to me. I don’t see why I should care. No one else will. So it wouldn’t really matter.
It’s hard to stare at a blank page, feeling so much inside but not being able to put any of it into words, or answer why it happens. In Psychology, they say Free Association is a way to examine the unconscious, where you say whatever comes to mind, but what if you can’t put anything in to words? I’ve never been much of a writer because how could I be one when words fail me so often. I’m in a different universe than everyone else, no one understand what I’m trying to convey and I can’t speak the language to get it across myself.  It’s like […]
from the moment I could talk, all ive ever wanted was to be helpful to someone, and make them happy, actually be worth something….. yet all my life I have felt that I never help anyone….I feel like no matter how hard I try, I will always remain usless and worthless….I feel like no one ever wants or needs me, and I don’t feel loved….. I just want to make someone smile…… but all I ever do is hurt them and make them angry……nobody loves me, nobody cares about me…..I just wish I could die….it would spare everyone from wasting their valuble effort on someone […]
Hey there baby, you looking fine
again tonight like always
I’m so bad with these corny lines
but you never judge me
instead you stand far away and let
your vertiginous glory pluck at my nerves
ready to catch me when I remove
80 feet of concrete between us
Remember when we first met?
I was so young then and you were the same
soft shade of aquamarine that I feel
flling my nostrils and bluring my sight
Your presence a promise of an eternal
unbearable comfort hugging me tight
How much has changed since then?
Nothing at all, as you of course know
except that your […]
Life is messed up that has been pretty obvious to me, yet I still find myself hurt about it. I don’t know why I hope why I even care? I’m slowly shutting down, I care less and less about any and everything.This year has been the worst of my life thus far, I’ve lost so much and there is this aching pain inside. I lost family and friends and a significant other all in a matter of months back to back. There is literally nothing left in me not a damn thing I wouldn’t care if my own family died if what little friends I […]
I really, really cannot do this anymore. I can’t trust myself. I can’t survive my life with the etching of all this shit in my brain. It’s not good. Not good at all. I think I’m going to go back to planning my way out. This burden is too much for me. No matter how hard I pray for God’s help and talk to other people the guilt just keeps choking me.
Its over. I’m over. I don’t deserve to live. I’m a fucking failure to everyone.
Why do some people–I’ve noticed it a lot on this site–call one a troll if you say something that upsets their feelings, no matter how truthful and factual you are being?
Essentially it goes like this:
Person A is debating Person B. Â Person A says something Person B gets upset by. Â Person C interjects and agrees with Person A. Â Person B says Person A is also Person C and a troll.
So the logic is … everyone who agrees with Person A is Person A.
Do you think this […]
Wonderful?
I have heard a lot of complaining lately about the people on this site. I think, however, that you are all wonderful… Yes, even the people who have vented their frustrations about SP (I am sorry it isn’t as helpful to you as it once was). This world has dealt you some heavy blows, and for that I am sorry. I know that you are here to vent, or to seek support, or to share, or to help, or whatever the case may be. You’re reason for being here doesn’t matter to me, nor does the way you choose to express yourself. I value […]
i thought you would be there for me
you promised me that you would
but now you broke that promise
and you may have broken me
but do i let you know about my shattered heart
about the tears running down my face
about the urge to cut because i need you
do i let you know about the sadness dwelling inside of me
of course not because that would break you
and if i broke you i would be indirectly breaking myself
its sad how i know that you dont need me
as much as i need you in my life
but yet i […]
people say that writing about how upset i am would help. but it doesn’t help because my dad finds my journal and reads them. i haven’t written down my feelings in over 3 years. i want to write my feelings down. i want help. but my dad just tells me to suck it up. that i’m not really depressed. people say to ask for help. but whats the point of asking for help if nobody listens no matter how loud you are? i have attempted suicide twice. i had to go to the hospital one time. my parents were crying like they actually cared and […]
My name is Abhishek, I’m 23 years old. My parents are abusing me everyday and everytime. No matter how much I try to avoid them, they just find a way to put me down. They want me to die. I haven’t done anything wrong, I’m just a guy who helps others and this is what I got for my goodness. I had a girlfriend but I have to leave her because of my parents. I’m lonely and I have nobody to share my pain. I want to cry but I stop myself thinking that I must become stronger in order to survive. But now I […]