Mature

I’m desperate.

For excuses.

For reasons.

For encouragement.

Every night I have to convince myself not to do something drastic.

I have to look at myself in the mirror, and I have to lecture myself for so long just to tell myself not to cut, not to think terrible thoughts, not to attempt suicide, not to cry, not to do anything that harms myself.

I think I’m losing myself.

I’m not feeling as how I used to.

I can’t stay happy. I fake a smile when I’m in school.

But I don’t talk. People talk to me, and I nod as a sign that I’m listening. I’m done with talking.

I don’t know if I’m […]