It’s been a long sad break from this place. And man, I have no clue where I’ve wandered to. All I know is I’ve been more broken then ever these past two weeks. I want to be free. I hate feeling so chained up. Within my own mind claustrophobia is eating me away. My whole life there is one, only one thing I’ve asked for. And that is a place of belonging. Where I’m not thrown away like some non living object. I’m sick of living in the dump. You know what the dump is filled with? Worthless things that no longer have meaning or […]
Tag:
meaning
Maybe the world is just a big mess,
full of pointless people doing pointless things,
but I know this is a world I want to be part of.
I want to hear the rain tapping against my window,
like a well meaning person trying to get in,
but in this world the well meaning people don’t get in,
it’s always the scum that earn the trust,
‘Nice guys finish last’ they say,
but fail to see how true it is,
because I may not be nice to everyone and anyone,
but I am nice to the people who need it,
and maybe I will finish […]
Because wordplay.
Here i sit on SP, contemplating mortality, nine-something pm my time, and fireworks whistle and pop, not far away. Three days early. I doubt the people launching them have any real clue just what it is they’re supposed to be celebrating… or how jeopardized and compromised that particular thing has come to be.
I wanted to make some kind of… soup reference, or something, but alas, i’m not in gear for that at this time. It’s just that the 4th of July has been an increasingly stark source of irony for me, since i found myself awake.
I wonder if they know what “Independence” really means.
I […]
Mencius (a student of Confucius):
“Living is what I want; meaning is also what I want. If I cannot have both, I would rather take meaning than living. On the one hand, though life is what I want, there is something I want more than life.
That is why I do not cling to life at all cost.
On the other hand, though death is what I loathe, there is something I loathe more than death. Â Yet there are ways of remaining alive and ways of avoiding death to which a person will not resort.
In other words, there are things a person wants more than life and […]
Damn, now where can I purged.
Asking for a child, for in the name of the god.
Seeking. Abyssal lost. One in a billion.
All I can do. Nothing I can do. So just do it.
But what to do, like the meaning of my name.
The protector of the sun.
Tamed in abyssal, the Titans.
We the Humans, now like the ants.
Every hit. Every line. Beautiful music.
The melody, and the chain. Devil helds you by the iron ball.
I am a fucked up puppet, my true self, has never been shown.
The masquerade, the façade, the charade, what was the last one….
Hades, sitting in the shade. The shadow. Beast Vs. Kid Death.
Wow. Down, getting […]
Why are we alive? What is the meaning of living? What keeps you alive?
I want to embed myself under the furled layers of your essence, tuck myself beside the pulsating beat of your vulnerability. I want to drink you in, sip your secrets like shots of soul-warming alcohol. Intoxicate me with your purity, render me unconscious with your superiority and smother me with your suffocating beauty. Tease me with the palpable touch of your absence and speak to me in words so powerful their meaning can’t be truly fathomed. I miss the quintessence of your endless nihility.
Like a beautiful, burning inferno I want you to burst into vibrancy, your hot, explosive atmosphere lighting up the room in […]
All kind of thoughts run through my mind. i can be anything. i can change to any side. just convince me and see where i go. i have always tried to find answers to ultimate questions – questions that are right and on whom my existence and my suffering depends. every time i watch a documentary or read a philosophical novel i get into one of these questions and seems to find myriad of solutions to it. but experience has taught me that they somehow never works. so now when i find a solution i also ask myself why the solution would not work and […]
I tried hanging myself, did an overdose of prescriptions. Tried everything and I am still alive. Is it because I am too scared to go far or is it because I don’t really want to die. I wonder why life is so horrible. I am really religious. I used to think that God planned out our futures. I used to that God controlled everything. I used to think that God had the ability to make you happy but he doesn’t. If he really does have that power, why doesn’t he end my life right now. That would make me happy. If God meant for life […]
I was reading this book called the Van Gogh Blues. Â It’s all about how creative people suffer with depression because of a meaning complex, and it freaked me out because I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for years, and I always figured that one day when I create something it will dissipate. Â If creating can’t bring me meaning, then what can?
Everything in my life seems so fucked, which is ridiculous because so much of it is petty or will be unimportant in six months. Â Sometimes I just feel like there’s no point and I’m such a bad person and I should die, but at the […]
Well, where do I start? …
It’s complicated, I don’t even know how the things got this way…
First of all, what is nihilism?.Nihilism (from the latin nihil, nothing) is an ideology, a rational way of thinking and interpreting the cosmic reality.It’s not a belief or anything like that, nihilism is based in scientific evidences and phylosophy.Science has evolved a lot, and it’s evolving even faster lately.The mysteries are but puzzles, but almost all the pieces are now found and placed, allowing us to better understand the universe that surrounds us.Cosmology, biology, quantum physics, showing us how did the universe begin and how it works, […]
What am I? Nihilist
What do I believe in? Nothing
What do I do? Nothing
What is life? Nothing at all
Where am I going? Nihil (Nowhere, nothing)
Is there any inherent meaning in life? No
Should I make a meaning for my life? Nah
Why not? No reasons to make reasons
People looking for the meaning of life are … Naive
Morality? Nope, thanks, that’s a lie
What is right? Nothing
What is wrong? Nothing
I thought I could trust her with my heart.
She told me she loved me and we had the most amazing relationship together.
Then she left me lonely
I am still in love with everything about her. Her hair. Her face. Her way. She abandoned me, even though she promised she would never leave.
Life has no meaning anymore. She was my everything. Now she is only a distant memory that I’m still in love with.
I know that she will never come back to me
And that is why I will be in pain for the rest of my life
bm
so I guess that many of you found some meaning to stay alive.
I don’t know what else to say. Keep saving people. It’s truly a good project.
I’m not too well in describing, words, reasons… I just wish u all the best. Goodbye
I don’t know what i’m doing with my life. Does anybody know? Like, Jobs said that life would have worked out looking backwards: it would have been a “connecting the dots” of all the little decisions made, and at the end everything would have become clear.
I think i will draw anything but a scrawl, when it will come my time. Everyone has his share of defeat but defeat itself has a meaning, that is the fight; what are we doing instead, me and my generation, drunk saturday, studying monday, working tuesday, wednesday married – how is it that these serial mass-produced lives could signify anything more […]
I am a 16yr old guy and I feel like I want to die, go crawl into a hole and rot, I have been thinking a lot about this since I was young I have always been a outcast simply because I was different or specifically strange. (I know how this must be starting to sound like a woe is me kind of story but that’s not what I am trying to do.) I cant feel sadness any more and I physically cant cry even at family,that I liked, funerals I feel nothing almost empty. I am rather chubby but not too much, my grades […]
I know that most of you won’t read this or care or anything but, I am depressed. I feel so worthless, stupid and I feel like a disappointment of a human being. I’ve seen amazing people on the news and at school that  do incredible things for everyone and then I’m just there, wasting space and not doing anything.  When I first started to feel this way, I was only 11  and I thought that God hated me and that he was putting me through hell for a test but, that isn’t fair. Its been a year now and I still feel the same crap. The sad part is that if I were […]
everything seems trivial. My job, my life, my relationships, I feel like it’s all meaningless and trivial. I’m an excellent faker, at enjoying myself and being happy. What I really want to do is go and slit my wrists open again, hurt myself, end this empty life that I know isn’t going anywhere joyful. A philosopher once said “happiness is a small desk with a very large waste basket.” who the hell wants to live like that? Not me. I don’t care if most religions say my ass will burn in hell for eternity, I just want the fuck out of this place.
Which brings […]
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