I’m here for the same reason most everyone is, I’ve given up and I thought suicide was the only way out. Just a few days ago I posted something, but since then I’ve done some thinking. If suicide is the only way to find peace, then why have we held on for so long? It’s not because we love the pain we are in, it’s because one day we hope we wake up and hope the world will treat us better. It might also be because we know if we go we will be hurting our friends and family. Things may never get much better, […]
Tag:
mental
It’s a funny thing blackmail, they take something you have and force you to exchange something else that you have.
It’s purely threats, they could have information or photos of you and they threaten to show the world, even though it could get them in trouble. If you aren’t strong enough, you’re basically their slave.
Recently I’ve been a victim of blackmail and I’ll tell you this, it’s ruining my life. I feel worthless everyday, it’s forced my friends away from me and overall it’s made my depression so much worse. I’ve never been good at maintaining a good and healthy mental condition, now I feel as […]
The music I always loved to hear lost their charm.
The DXM I treated as substitutes for real anti-depressants have lost their appeal.
I no longer linger in anticipation waiting for the next part of the show/comic I follow.
I don’t even feel excited at the prospect of having a family in the future anymore; now it just sickens me knowing that there is a possibility that I may give birth or raise a child that would end up as fucked up as I am. It frightens me that the person I would be with in the future would suffer because of my mental issues.
Besides, if I off […]
I’m thinking about taking my own life. My mom is my only family member and tonight we had a bad arguement. I said a lot of really mean things. I feel I was justified in being irritated, even angry, but I shouldn’t have been so mean. One of these arguments happened only 2 weeks ago. I have caused my mom so much pain with the mean things I’ve said over the years. I’ve also put her through so much with my mental and physical health problems. I honestly feel I should have never been born. When these […]
I found my way back to this site, over 3 years since my first and only post. It’s been so long I had forgotten I even made an account. And how disheartening it was to have the realization that in many ways, I am no better now than I was then. The stigma that is still around mental health leads people to believe that these conditions are just something one can “get over”. That surrounding yourself with loved ones, exercising, getting a pet, etc., will “cheer you up”. I stand as one of so very many examples that this is not the case. Though I […]
I wrote a story based on the opinions of someone I know, not all opinions expressed are ones I identify with.
“Borderline isn’t abnormal in itself, it’s the manifestation of the human condition under deleterious circumstances. Everyone has abandonment issues, everyone reacts angrily – not always externally angry and sometimes not even consciously angry – to rejection and it isn’t abnormal in itself. Borderline is the aggregation of multiple mental illnesses all into one, I don’t even understand why – they don’t even have a tangible treatment for it so what’s the point in the diagnoses?
“Borderline is a myriad of symptoms of various real mental illnesses, […]
So I here I am with my first post. I’m 40 years old and think constantly of killing myself. I’m always in pain- it’s either depression, anxiety or both. I look forward to bedtime, it’s my favorite time of the day. Blessed sleep. I lost my job as a medical assistant over a year ago. I worked in neurology. I was proud of that career. I was fired. Lost too much work due to mental illness. Now I’ve tried several menial jobs and walked out on all of them. I couldn’t take them. Constant anxiety gnawing at me. Every waking moment is torture. One thing […]
If you found out that you were a subject (victim) of nonconsenting government testing which includes mental torture and manipulation, extreme harassment and 24/7 monitoring and invasion of personal space including cameras and bugs found inside home and had everything important that you worked extremely hard to reach in your life raped from you because of this, would you want to continue living in this society? I rest my case.
Sometimes I wish that I didn’t exist. Nothing in my life seems to ever be going right anymore. I wish my life was over all the time. I don’t think about suicide as much anymore, and I haven’t tried in 7 months to kill or otherwisebharm myself, but I still wish I were dead.
Everything was fine until a couple years ago, and now I seem to be in a downward spiral I can’t get out of. I’m an 18 year old girl and most of my life has been pretty tough.
A couple years ago, I got my first job. It wasn’t the best job, but […]
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
Hey. I’m currently stuck in my mid teens somewhere in the green hills of sunny old England. And I want to die.
For years now, I have been diagnosed with depression. I feel it probably has been constant in my life, after suffering abuse at the hands of my brother, then having to care for my mother while my father worked long shifts (he is always quite submissive, meaning he had to work far into the nights, often until 11pm). First of all, I tried to go on alone, with fairly minimal support. Then I made two attempts on […]
I am too worn out. It is almost impossible to even stand up out of bed in the morning. My family has rejected me, and I lost my parents to alcohol. I myself have tried to get sober but can’t deal with the mental stress. My last year was spend with my girlfriend struggling with alcoholism. After putting her through the third rehab and countless nights worrying she cheated on me with someone she met there and ran off. I literally gave her every last drop of life I had left and lost all my friends in the process. I went into deep depression and […]
Just wanted to say thanks to all that post and help others. I had the jab at mental health with a typical antipsychotic and the voices have dimmed for the first time in nearly 2years. I am so stoked and happy to see it all dimmed. Please god be it for a long long time. So thankyou for all your support through the hard times. Im in a country lucky enough to have this med. Fingers crossed.
I am at the point where ever day is torture. The only way to get some sore of peace is through sleep. I wish G-D would help. He has the power to change it all around but yet he does not. Makes me wonder is this what I was meant to feel? Is this what I was created for? The pain is to much. The mental torture is indescribable. How I wish things were different.
It totally sucks balls i have entities and voices trying to guide me through suicide. They suck arse.. The only way im going to do it is when i save up for a car and **s myself. Voices suck just stay away from drugs. Cant wait to end myself i wouldnt wish schizophrenia on my worst enemy i so fukin wouldnt. Almost ade os amigos. Cant reason with them side effects of mental illness and drugs is sleep lots and cant focus. Its almost over rover and expect no one to post because i cant contain this shit cant wait until my time comes
What is the cause of the inequality that exists among mankind?
Why should one person be brought up in the lap of luxury, endowed with fine mental, moral and physical qualities, and another in absolute poverty, steeped in misery?
Why should one person be a mental prodigy, and another an idiot?
Why should one person be born with saintly characteristics and another with criminal tendencies?
Why should some be linguistic, artistic, mathematically inclined, or musical from the very cradle?
Why should others be congenitally blind, deaf, or deformed?|
Why should some be blessed, and others cursed from their births?
Not sure what to say as I know this post is only for me to feel better briefly. Guess I’ll just say I’m tired of trying and going back to square one every time. I know it’s how I see the world. I know it’s my brain ‘chemistry’.
I wonder why there can be two people with the same mental illness, the same struggles, and only one commits suicide. What makes the other person stronger?
It’s weird what sets me into a downward spiral now. I’ve pushed everyone away & out of my life and I’m not even sure why.
Guess I just feel completely hopeless. […]
I’ve been manic for the past 2+ weeks but on a major come down and feel absolutely crap I saw my cpn yesterday when I was bad with my voices and his coming again on Friday.
I’m so fed up with how I am I just car’t deal with it I don’t mind being minic as I’m happy but that the only time I am
I’ve got a loving family and bf who cares I just don’t want to hurt them but if things don’t change I know i will I’ve suffered from mental illness since I was 15 I’m now 25 I just don’t […]
I hope this doesn’t happen to anyone here (unless you’re an abusive troll of course). I was banned from two chatrooms and this forum. I was manic and somewhat obnoxious at the time, however others misbehaved too and deliberately stirred shit for me with a loved one. I’m sure they’re still happily included in the respective groupings.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not bitter about it. I would just like to highlight for people the fact that many people with mental illnesses use these forums. Being banned or outcasted from a suicide forum could have quite a damaging effect on that person. Human beings yearn to […]
My friends, do they know how unhappy I am with life? Just curious. They notice I’m always the first one awake as soon as the sun starts coming up but do they know that when I’m laying with my eyes open I’m thinking about death and some more shit? Or that when I get frustrated its nothing controllable and do they notice my triggers? Do they notice I don’t laugh when they joke about people with depression or other mental illnesses?? Should I explain it to them?? How do I do that??
so ever since i was young i always remember my dad hitting my mom for… well? i guess cheating and i always saw him hit her, i would hear her screaming and crying then after that he would yell at me and my sister for dumb shit. he used to hit us badly with a thick leather belt that would leave marks on our legs and back sometimes buries.i was always scared to call the cops and the fear of my siblings being taken awake and separated into different foster families. it kept going for many years. i always loved my mom and felt sorry […]