The ropes around your neck. It’s good and tight. It’s, almost comfortable. You start feeling fuzzy. A pressure behind your eyes. It’s calming, it’s happening… the background noises start to sound weird. Like this “whah-whah-whah” sound. Calming. A heavy sleepiness. Tingles everywhere. It’s so beautiful.
Then your brain flips out, like oh fuck, stop stop stop, abort mission. You fumble around. Releasing the knot. Gasping. Your brain is relieved. Your mind is pissed.
Know what I’m talking about?
Why do people say it’s selfish to end your own life?
What’s so selfish about ending your own suffering?
Why do people make your suicide mission about them?
Why is it always “You don’t want to be remembered like that, do you”?
Do you know the constant battle that’s going on inside my head?
Do you know that self harm is the only thing that makes me feel in control of my life?
Are you there every night when I cry myself to sleep?
Do you understand it’s a miracle I’m not already dead?
“SoCal, Belly, West-Coast, The Morlocks”
But still the sun shines
I don’t know, I don’t know
What I can find
The only way to follow
Is through another spirit
But I seek from the dark
The gold, the gold heart
Still on to a next sound
I’ve sung for three-hundred days
What more can I say in my abyss
I want to move forward, to evolve
I need a friend
The crevice of the beast in the web
I seek the golden, I am the iron
And there is a poison that destroys
Truth-reality, essence of Gaia inside of me
I listen to the flower of the […]
Sands of hell, here at the end. Pray for me, everybody.
I am the Ho-Oh, and nowhere to land. The faith, is dying.
My name is dead Ash C’atchem, here in the belly.
My totem pokemon is the muk. My cherry pick was a bulbasaur.
Here, in the world. The journey, there is only one.
A venomoth flew in my eye today, I think that was good luck.
I will catch you next time, venemoth, and butterfree.
Man, life could be so beautiful, if simply so. Heal me.
A journey toward celestial, my name is dead Ash C’atchem.
The entire lower hands, my fated. My totem, […]
Oracle, where are you. The apex, so- so long ago.
I have done my time. Now, faith is in the hand.
Do not defect me any longer. You, touch of life.
Grand goddess. Twist the codex, today. One, for transcendence.
A war of heaven versus hell, lost, our beginning.
It makes no sense. Fish, a world without a true leader.
Oh, other woman, take us to the land.
Carrying the boulder, of the world. Heal, to become strong.
But here, but now, forever lost.
Born to protect the world, now the devil’s.
We’ve exiled your alien, do not come back to our planet.
The star […]
I need to flee SoCal.
I am the black dragon.
To heal my wound scales.
The faith, where is the wagon.
Twelve, the number is zero.
Now, in the age of oblivion.
Yet to be, another hero.
Welcome, our faith of destruction.
Fate, have you ever heard of the undead.
I live, here I am. Messiah in the dark, read my palm.
The heart of the ultimate scale, inside of me.
A turbulent chaotic beast, the rage of hell.
Peace like a saint.
Faith is my sword. My rotting flesh, sworn to be vowed.
Like Cyclops, inborn half-man and half-weapon.
My mission. My battle. My war. Forever until […]
I’ve been swimming upstream my whole life. Nothing was ever given to me, no brakes, no guidance, no chance. I’m middle aged now with 2 teens and a wife. I have no job and have been looking since April. Credit is bad, no savings, and I’m over qualified for the “regular” jobs. I get bored out of my mind with work and am on a spiritual mission. I’ve prayed and asked for truth for all mankind, a unselfish prayer for a long time now. The world is filled with violence and seems that it is filled with selfishness. This life is absolutely unreal, if there […]
I forgot the first line. Who the fuck is going to save me.
Gona go, try. Go, go. Battletoad. But I can’t.
Oh yeah. I need to stay clear, my eternal spectrum, and sober.
Be like water. Time to recuperate. I need to escape.
Seven years of acidic death. My scroll. My blood.
Faith of God, you would understand. Higher kind.
In your heart. Enlighten. Become a Man, a Woman.
Superman and Wonder Woman, and all the others.
Game-station. Do no forsake the forsaken. My chain, I wish I could of…
Saved you all. That is my mission.
The music of Mankind. Goddess resurrection. Our Men, our warriors.
Capitalize. Our world, system of hell. Seraphim, Seraphim, put out […]
Look! See the loverless boy. He watches the planes take off. Only in the dawn when the sun is low. Only in the night when the moon is bright. Oh loverless boy! Your eyes will see the world from space. You will sings the songs of a different race. Loverless boy why do you worry? This place is only temporary. You wanna love a another one but that one there is only human. You wanna hold her soul inside, you want your bodies to collide. Loverless boy remember your duty. Your mission is a bigger story. Go now back to see the planes. They’ll keep […]
I’m sooo scared to go back to therapy.. I don’t want to but my parents are making me! I was in therapy for 2.5 YEARS and it didn’t do anything! Honestly my church has done 100% more in 1.5 YEARS than therapy ever did. It’s annoying, makes the depression even worse, and honestly I haven’t even been feeling depressed lately… sorry for those of you who are not into Christianity (DO NOT GIVE ME CRAP FOR IT PLEASE).. I’ve gotten more involved with the church, gotten involved in outreaches, and might even be going on a mission trip to Mexico in August. I’m finally happy […]
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