Some of my earliest memories are of my mother giving me up for adoption ( I was classified as a ‘child in need’). As I child, I didn’t realize she had given me up, I merely thought I was staying with family for a while. I remember two different families I stayed with for some time. The first family I stayed with, the V’s, I can barely remember. The V’s were nice, but were more interested the other child there than they were with me. The one I remember the most, lets call them the ‘D’s’, were my second family. I loved the […]
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You know when somebody says “You shouldn’t be around people who make you unhappy.” There’s only one person that makes me unhappy, and that’s my mom. The worst part is I am forced to be around her. She is emotionally abusive and she claims that she has never said anything bad to me. She says I’m a *****, a drama queen, that I’m crazy, and she hopes I run away. She is the reason i cry so much. I’ve suffered from depression since I was 8, and my mom has always belittled me about it. My older brother at the age of 7 had a […]
I just want my dad back Well im new here, as you can tell this is my first note? Story? Im not sure what these would be called on here, i just know that i found this site for, I’m not sure but some reason, and i feel the need to finally get my feelings out somewhere. Well i don’t want people to feel bad for me or anything, just that i need to let this out, when i was younger i had a great life, well i did but the bad things where always covered up so i never knew what was […]
Hey. I’m 14, a freshman, and a survivor. I wanna share my story.
November 28, 2012. This is the day I swallowed 29 Prozac. This is the day I felt so alone, like always, but like I didn’t even deserve to breathe. I felt like I didn’t deserve anything. I was nothing. Worthless. A nobody. I’d lost everything. My mom. My bestfriend. My sanity. And someone took my innocence.
Two days earlier Nov. 26, 2012 I went to hangout with my bestfriend. He was 17. Yes I’m a girl. Yes he’s a boy. Yes we were bestfriends. We’d been that way for a long […]
The shooting today.. 20 kids dead… 6 adults it brought up so many memories, that may have even no relation.
First the shock that someone can hurt kids so innocent.. then i remember my past 2 people hurt me.. when i was so young.. to innocent to protect myself. At their entire control, my life was basically in there hands…
Then i thought of how these kids would suffer 5-10 years from now. Like i do today, the symptoms of my PTSD have cause severe depression, anxiety, insomnia, psudo siezures, multiple persanality disorder, and bipolar. I agree some of these may not have been a direct result, […]
Since this passed January, I am 30 years old.
I have never dated, never kissed a woman, and (obviously) never had sex.
The enormity of what it would take to reverse my current mindset to help alleviate some of the above issues…is a hill I don’t try climbing any more; I’m too far behind at this point. On the good days I push my resignation to the back of my mind, and it just sits there in acceptance. On the bad days, all thoughts of “what could have beenâ€, the sense of loss, crash home and it’s only for lack of having easy […]