I just want to end it now and don’t know the best way. I want something that would be painless and I’d just fall asleep and never wake up.
Then I think of my daughter. She’s 23 and has a wonderful boyfriend. They are both working on their futures and doing as well as they can. Both working hard towards it.
I don’t want to hurt her more than anyone in my life. But at the same time I just feel worthless and don’t want to be around anymore
Tag:
my life
Ugh. Where do I start? My life is a total cesspool (sorry if incorrect spelling) filled with empty promises, hopelessness, fear, regret, grief, and lies. Why do so many people hate me? What did I do? If the ignorant douchebags in my life don’t give a crap about me, well, they will when Im dead. If i could see the consequences of my death, i would love too. I would like to see how everybody reacts. They probably wouldn’t care. Everybody already only cares about themselves. I am scheduling a date to take myself out. Should I? Or should I forgive the god awful people […]
you know, i envy people with cancer. Listen i understand its terrible, and what im saying sounds ridiculous. But for the people on this page just imagine for a second. I hate myself, i hate everyone and im pretty sure everyone hates me. I’m so angry, so depressed, so stressed, so sick of everything. If i had cancer, that saves me having to commit suicide. Having to to find a gun, so the suicide is painless as possible. If i had cancer, I could sit, play video games, read books, watch soccer, football basketball without a fuck to give. Cause i know my life is […]
I’m spending the last few days relaxing and writing notes to all my family. I know it might seem crazy because I’m cheerful about dying at 27 years old. I just feel like I’ve experienced all I’ve wanted/needed to experience from this life. It’s time for me to go. It might seem strange to have an upbeat attitude about offing yourself, but maybe that will leave behind a peaceful solution to those in my life who are living stressfully. I bought a bag of charcoal and I’m waiting for the day when my parents and brother aren’t in the house and I’m going to burn […]
Just spent a bunch of time writing this on mobile and forgot to save it and got an error, yay me.
Anyway, hi. I’ve been browsing this website on and off for the past year or so and decided to share my story today.
So I’m currently 18 years old, and I’ve been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts since about 9 or 10.
I’ve never really met or talked to my real father in any way, he left when I was 3 months old, I come from a relatively poor family
and my father never paid his child support, my mom rarely had a job and would constantly get […]
Hi my name is X,
I am 19 and have been struggling through the last 4 years.
Here is a brief run down of my past.
I first started feeling suicidal when I was 16 for the first year I convinced my self it was nothing as most teenagers go through so I put it down to the bulling and no social life.
When I was 17 the feelings still hadn’t stopped even though I had a job and had a nice girlfriend. I was getting more depressed and down and had being going to see multiple counsellors, I was the only one aware of my feelings. […]
Hello, people reading this i have a huge problem and i need your advice. I am 17 years old and i have tried to commit suicide more then 5 times. Everytime something in my life goes wrong aall i think about is how to kill myself , but this time i might really do it. So i will be entering the 12th grade this year and there is a HUMONGOUS amount of pressure on me to go study abroud and get into a Great University, but the thing is i TOTALLY FAILED my international AS level examinations and those grades are really important to get […]
Soooo this is my first post thingy so no hate unless its at least funny and please comment your own thoughts.
I wanna start out by saying how weird life is and how unbelievably random it could be, but also how planed it ends up being. Like if I make a good choice to hang out with my first friend which goes into a bad decision of doing drugs, which leads to a path with fake friends. Then of course ended up here at block one with no friends just to start all over.
But I cant help to say that I kinda liked that part of my […]
I find myself feeling numb. Sometimes a spark of happinesss comes in, or a glimmer of hope, or moments of excrutiatingly painful, lonely, sadness. I feel as if I don’t want to end my life, but I’d like too end the pain, sorrow, and for once, I’d like too feel again. In a good way.
I thought I had posted this last night but don’t see it. I don’t really understand all the SEO stuff but I checked them all. It seems like the most secure thing to do.
Anyway, all I can think of is ending my life here and planning it in terms of finding a few pets other homes, etc. I am older so it’s not like I have “my whole life ahead of me”. Depression/dysthymia with a few major episodes, nervous breakdowns, excruciating pain then surgeries then more excruciating pain, pain meds addiction. Finally managed to get out of pain and thru several Dr.s and bad doctoring […]
…or at least that’s how I think I feel
I’m so worn down and tired all the time now. I’m not usually one to commit to displaying how bad I feel but recently I just had at It on social media (Instagram, snapchat, etc) Eventually people took notice and started worrying.
My boss called me in for a chat recently to see if I was alright. She looked at me funny when I couldn’t give her a reason as to why I feel so horribly bad. People who don’t actually suffer depression don’t seem to understand that it’s not necessarily a combination of negative things that make […]
iam 21 and i have gone through many things which are beyond my age. i love my family very much. i love u mom sister and my brother. iam sorry that iam going to end my life as soon as possible becase i cant stay in this world full of fake. i always tried to be myself and because of that people hate me saying im proud an egoist.
i love u dad.. before u left us…every thing was perfect.. my life was a heaven. now its a hell which i want to end. i wonder what people think if i die…no one does not even […]
All I ever want is to go back to feeling normal. But I haven’t felt normal since I was 5. My dad killed himself when I was 6, and my mum remarried. When I was 8, my stepdad began to sexually abuse me, all the way through to the age of 17. I self harmed and was seriously depressed throughout this whole ordeal. The abuse happened almost every day, in every room of the house. I’m 19 now and he is in prison, but I can’t get away from the mental, physical and emotional scars and trauma that I’m left with. I want to feel […]
Hi, I’m a visual novelist… well that what I was aiming to be.
People often tell you: ”With time you will get better.”
Well, I wonder and anyway… I don’t have the luxury to take my time. But before I tell you about my current situation let me give you a slice of my past.
At the age of 15 I moved away from my country and started to travel with my parents in a country where I couldn’t reach my friends.
Internet you say? Well there were 8 to 9hours of time difference between them and me and I didn’t have a computer so I could only go […]
I dont have any fight left in me. Im 30, I was married for 11 years. My divorce should be finalized next month.
He left me for someone else. He told our daughter shes her new stepmom. I never wanted kids yet I have three and a baby on the way.
My husband controlled my life. I wasnt allowed to work or go to college, for a long time I wasnt even allowed to drive.
Last year when he asked for a divorce I joined a dating website and met a man. I fell in love, I never loved my husband this way. This man turned out to […]
A vicious circle my life will always be.
I’ve always coped in the only way I know, it hurts me and creates even more darkness.
The small glimmer of hope came and passed; false and pretend, that’s all it ever was.
A vicious circle my life will always be.
In a week’s time, I will be nothing once again.
There is no future for someone with such deep struggles.
I held on for no reason; I will never get better.
I know.
I am a 23 year old guy and I have been diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune condition called lupus. What this means is that my immune system finally caught up with my brain and started hating itself as much as I did before I even knew what the word “lupus” meant. My body is destroying itself and if I choose to keep living, I will live every day for the rest of my life in pain with the looming threat of facing severe organ damage or becoming permanently bedridden. Having lupus means that something as innocent as spending 2 minutes in the sun could cause my immune system to […]
I have had the worse five months of my life; anxiety, bdd, everything has destroyed me and who I am. I look fucking 10 years older. I think it is time for me to go; the only comfortable thought I have: Suicide.
Why go on living ?
I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this life. Wake up everyday and deal with the same things. I have learned recently what people really think about me. And I don’t want to be here anymore. I want the pain to end. I want this constant ache to just be gone. If I just end my life, my suffering ends and people can finally be happy. I’m useless to people, I don’t think anyone would really miss me. People would go through the motions of missing me but really, I just think they would go grieve me for the acceptable time and […]
When I was growing up my life was fine until my dreams turned into night mares by nights got longer and afternoons got shorter. when I was 12 I starting cutting my wrist because I was bullied in school mostly by boys, (im a girl) It was a time where I wanted to commit suicide in the school bathroom with my belt but I was a cow ward and didn’t go through with it. By 13 I was cutting both wrist an legs I knew I was supposed to eat but I would just drink water for days and not eat anything. I got a […]