life seem to come to a stand still, do not know where to go, what to do, my husband cheated me for a girl, i tried to live with him,13 long years  waited and waited but no he has built a strong relationship with her, a friend approached me promised me to be a good friend but got into a relation, i thought my husband would feel jealous and would be by my side but no he and his girl friend has taken photos in private. my parents have brought me up with good habits, i somehow got over the relation becoz it didnt help […]
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Natural Death
This is the first time i write about my suicidal thoughts on the internet..I have no financial problems, so financially speaking i have a life that many would want. I’m also still young, many people tell me that i have my whole life ahead of me and that i shouldnt be pessimistic..but i have never had the life i really want. I didnt have many friends untill recently, and that was only because we share a habit which is drinking and smoking pot..i have thought about taking my life for many years now, i was even seriously planning on doing it one time but i […]
After typing up a ridiculously long post yesterday, I felt better. I actually did, the writing seemed to flow out from my very soul and the pain diminished. However, that only lasted for a few hours.
And then the urges came again, you know the ones. The one that tells you to end it, not for yourself but for those around you. You are not worthy of their love, all you’re doing is dragging them down with you. They don’t deserve this. The last one, I’ll admit. They do not deserve this. And that’s why they don’t know the full extent of my depressive state.
Instead of […]
I want to do it every now and then. But then I think of my mother finding my body in my horribly messy apartment. The fact I wont be found for days, even weeks. I can’t do that to anyone, and I fight through it. It makes me stronger each time, but I feel like I am weaker for it each time. I really hope I die a natural death and will do everything I can to get there. I just wish I never had these thoughts. I wish I was normal.
These are excerpts from letters written by Robert G. Ingersoll that were published in the New York World, 1894.Â
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 “People should not suffer for the sake of supernatural beings or for other worlds or the hopes and fears of some future state. Our joys, our sufferings and our duties are here. After all, death is not so terrible as a Joyless life. Next to eternal happiness is to sleep in the soft clasp of the cool earth, disturbed by no dream, by no thought, by no pain, by no fear, unconscious of all and forever.
 The fear of God, of Judgment, of eternal pain will cause such believers […]