Recently I’ve been getting bullied and I have been cutting.
I want to kill myself but, every time I try I just think about my family and friends and how it will reflect on them.
I don’t know what to do because I’m only 12, could anyone please give me some suggestions.
I went and saw a councillor and I have told my mum but, to be honest it hasn’t made any difference.
I also reported the guy to the school but, still no different.
It all started by him going out with me then dumping me for someone else. Then one of his best […]
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This is a long story, so bear with me.
From the beginning: I’m a female, live in a pretty rural setting, was 20 years old when things got really bad. I’ve experienced complex trauma and was pretty angry, violent, self-destructive, depressed etc. all through childhood and adolescence. I moved to a new town in my late teens, got a job at a local social services agency, and moved into an apartment, which after about 9 months my partner moved into also. Mid December — right before finals week at college, actually — my partner and I ended things and she moved out. We had been together the […]
You know, I’ve always been quiet; I don’t get heard because I’ve never said a word that I thought people might actually listen to.
You know, I’ve always been forgettable; I blend into walls and make myself small, and people don’t often even see me– they believe what they want to believe and I get lost in the mystery of who are we talking about?
You know, I’ve always been gentle; no one gets hurt because the only pain that lurks around me gets buried in laughs and pulled-down shirts, because no one besides me deserves to gain new scars.
You know, I’ve always been […]
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to start my life over again. Locations, friends, schools, jobs, girlfriends and fiancés.. everything. Starting over use to be incredibly hard. But once you reach that end.. there is most often, a fork in the road. And you must choose a path. Death..or starting over. I’ve reached my end enough times to realize that at the end, you lose a lot of cares. And if you can manage to come back a smarter wiser person, you come back with little to lose..but everything to gain. As long as there is breath in my lungs, my heart will […]
I’m not new to this site I’ve been here before on a different account. I left because I thought I got better. But today I just kind of broke down and I don’t know why. My sister is graduating from highschool I’ll be a junior next year. It all hits me pretty hard because I’ve never really had any friends so id always hang out with her. And this year I talked to some of her friends which I’ve even considered to be my friends but I don’t think they feel the same way. Anyway I just want to say I’m a piece of shit […]
I can’t sleep until like one o’clock anymore because I don’t know. I just stay up at night with all of this energy and I feel like I need to go fight somebody or run a few miles. I can’t though. I have to stay at home and try and sleep. It happens during the day too, I’ll just feel cooped up and I have to do something, anything at all to get rid of the energy. I’ve literally never had problems like this before and now it won’t stop. I get angry for no reason and I start to freak out and all sorts […]
I hate myself and I feel like a complete loser. I used to think I was somewhat pretty, but now I feel ugly, especially on the inside. I feel disgusting and dirty like I murdered someone. I am taking summer classes because I decided I just had to double major in another useless liberal arts field and it’s hard not to compare myself to people out having adventures and experiencing life. I don’t think it’s that lame to stay in school necessarily but for some reason I feel like I’m horrible for staying at home with my parents with no money or job, crying like a baby every day […]
I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I get so upset over everything these days, when I’m at school I nearly start crying, I’ve been going home from school and haven’t been staying the whole day because I don’t feel like I belong. my best friend has just became my friend now because she’s started hanging out with a new girl and it doesn’t feel right. I just feel so alone and like I have no one.
6-6-15 12:21 am I changed! I changed everything. I walked out on 20 years. I walked away from what wasn’t healthy for me. I started over. It’s not easy. I have $7 fucking dollars in my account until payday. This is HARD. I am working it out. I am learning who I am. I am trying to be myself for the first time in 20 years. I want to grow. I am open to new things. New flavors. New cities. I will not close off any experience for fear or sameness any more. I will try.
But I want us. It’s really all I’ve ever […]
I wake up lonely and go to bed terrified. Complex ptsd is something nobody understands nor wants to. I hate taking meds and wondering what it will do to me. I am isolated living here yet triggered by the people around me. Lately I feel like I’m going insane. Too much rage and torment, self-blame, for years. Too much. Nobody is here. My therapist hasn’t called back, the clinic hasn’t called back, I feel like a discarded person. I left the church since nobody there cared either. The neighbors help superficially but not for friendship. I made a new friend but an old one I […]
So I went to my first party, a friends party, after a long time of not going anywhere, socially that is. As I am at the party I meet two new people and they end up inviting me to a party they are having soon. After all of this I come home and look at my phone feeling like shit. Like, I had a wonderful time and now I just come home like, “Time to take off that mask!” I don’t know what it is keeping me from enjoying myself but I will force myself to that party, and I will fucking enjoy myself!
Knowing that you HAVE to be somewhere, at least 5 days out of the week and for at least 8 hours a day makes life already suck. Obviously I realize that you have to work to survive, but why not simply… survive to survive? Humans thousands of years ago didn’t have “jobs”, they were keen on self-sufficing, foraging, hunting, migrating.. just being alive was enough. Where did that go? Why can’t we just be happy with living, eating, socializing and we as people being our own livelihoods? I think things would be a lot better, rather than working some shitty job you hate and saving […]
hi ..I always feel lonely and unloved Im always afraid to try new things I always feel nervous when there’s a new event in my life it feels like I will do some mistakes again ..and I can’t think of any positive things maybe because of too many bad things happened to me when I was a kid ..I’m always bullied by my classmates and there’s no one like me because they said I’m ugly. even my mother and father always saying that I’m ugly and I’m just a thrash in their lives ..that’s really hurtful when it comes to your own family that your […]
It’s been 92 days since we stopped talking, all the nights i spent on the thoughts of her were so lonely and rough to live. What should I do when i seem stop on the same spot since we broke up, since we broke up my life stopped the joy of life left me as she did. 15th of February on valentines day was the end of us. I miss our conversations about nothing. I was hers and she was mine and none of us were lesbian. We never labeled ourselves. Man this is awful i miss her so much and since we broke up […]
In the very near future I’ll be diving into nothingness. The last five years have been a misery for me; with so much potential I became a– nothing. Every year gave me a new thing to worry about. I’m sick of this. So, my plan to completely runaway and live in the ‘nowhere’ will be in full force soon. Goodbye all.
I dropped out of grad school at the end of last year. I moved home and worked there on farms for a while until I could find more permanent work. I found a new job. I just started this week and I am hating life. Whenever I have a big transition in my life (like moving to a new area) I have a very difficult time. Work is always on my mind. When I’m at work, I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job. When I’m home, I think about how my bosses are disappointed in me even though there’s no reason to […]
This world is really… How should I put it? Bland? Complicated? Most of my life is spent just living like a robot doing what’s expected of me and kind of just… not really connected to my body. Like I’m not really all that there.
I don’t know what I even want to do in life or why was I even born in the first place. Honestly, I feel like I’m useless. I don’t have any skills worth talking about, a coward and I’m socially awkward. I basically just there taking up space.
I hate my current job, it pays so little, and the union itself took a […]
hi, I’m new to this page and I never would’ve expected myself to end up on it either. I’m 17, and I have what you would call an “easy life” but it’s anything but easy. Ive been feeling like crying all the time. I’ve tried against my life 6 times and every time I feel like I’m finally going to do it someone comes in and stops me. I’m honestly so done with the life I’m living and I’m tired of all the stress and people just judging all the time. I feel like everything would be better if I was dead. I’ll finally be […]
Sigh……….I bought a new bed and headboard/foot board. The rest will be furnished from thrift stores and consignment shops. I still have no enthusiasm for this move. Still longing to go to eternal sleep.
And so it goes………….
ive been wondering all this while. why am i so ugly, fat and stupid? people keep leaving me and that’s not ok. ive started cutting about a month ago and it is addictive. im doing it all day without even stopping. sad is the new happy and pain is the new cure. bye!