Alice wants to know why everyone wants to know who alice is! alice does not want to be constantly harassed and dogged! Alice does not wish to be accused of being a stalker when it is the other person who seems to be stalking alice! constantly popping into alices posts and discussions to subjugate alice to scrutiny for being alice! Alice is just alice! there is nothing more to tell! alice just wants to be left alone to tell stories and aquire new friends! alice does not want to get anxiety from this site! alice became alice to escape the anxiety and social constructs she […]
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Im so tired, sometimes i feel so tired. I work everyday with some new shit. I deal with collegework piling up, and at work where people belittle me. i feel so alone, never even knowing what it is like to be with someone i love, i offer mine, but it seems meaningless. i get so jealous it hurts, never a light at the end of the tunnel. Then i get paranoid as if everyone is looking at me. so it puts me further into myself.. I cant tell anyone how i feel because i feel like a selfish asshole and my problems are insignificant. I […]
I just..I don’t quite know. I just need to write down my thoughts..Pointless thoughts, that will most likely be over-looked as my life mostly is.
I should probably start from the beginning. When it all began. When I first sank into depression.
5 Years ago, I used to have a friend named Jessica. We hung out all the time.. She was my best friend, we grew up together. One day she sends me this text..and I knew something was wrong. This damn text is engraved into my mind. “I’m sorry, for everything, Thank you so much for being my friend. I’ll see you soon…but not too soon. […]
I have had some rough days and nights. One night I came to my limit! I was worn out, exhausted at dealing with all my depression, anxiety, fears, anger…etc by MYSELF! I called my crisis line and got a guy that when I talk to him, I do not feel comfort. I decide, as he answers, I will tell him I only needed to tell someone how sad I was, how worn out I was and that was all. He goes into a speech trying to give me advice and I tell him, I am not looking for advice, I just want to share that feeling so […]
the internet. i’ve always invisioned going into a community and visualizing them face to face except we’re not really face to face. its just the illusion inside our minds. our bodies make the motion. so any time i enter a forum or whathaveyou, i imagine it a lot like entering into a room already chalked full of people, some you know and some you don’t. the ones that don’t know you happen to see you first, thus already altering an outcome.
stranger: hey, hello…i’m not sure why i’m drawn to you but i am and i just wanted to say hello.
me: plus you gave me a […]
I’m 14, and I like to write, and dye my hair. Then there’s play video games, watch movies, chat online with my.. friends. I like lots of things. Then there’s my blades, the only thing I seem to look forward to; my birthday is in 9 days, and all I can think about is concealing my cuts; just like Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Summer break.. It’s all the same day in and day out.
“Can they see them?”
I’m terrified, I really am, having to hide things from my family, it eats at you. It’s a good thing I left school.. Right? I mean, no teachers, no homework, no […]
This world we live in is a screwed up place ladies and gentlemen. This is even apparent in Junior High. You have the popular crowd who think they are better than everyone else. You have the jocks, who believe they can be assholes to everyone, even calling a girl a whore openly. Then you have the outcasts like me. We don’t fit in anywhere. We just take up space. That’s the hardest part about joining a new school. Unless the “cool” kids accept you when you join, making friends will be the hardest part of being there.
What’s worst, having friends knowing there there then them leaving you. Or never having any real friends.
There’s once thing that has kept me going through the years and that’s BMTH [bring me the horizon]
Their music speaks to my soul.
I strongly urge those who are struggling to just take a listen to their new song ‘drown’
It’s so relatable
This world has overcome me on a whole new level. This emptiness I feel just won’t leave.. It’s useless I really don’t know why I try. I should just lay here and slowly waste away. People ask if you could sit down for hours or days and think about where your life will be in 5 years or 10 years or maybe even just 2 months from now I’ll never have an answer. I can not see myself anywhere new unless it leads to death.. It’s the only way I feel I’ll find some sort of peace. The only way I’ll ever feel like I’ve […]
My treacherous mind lives in the hope of a new world while outside I become an insensitive monster.
The part of me that still feels shout in agony locked in a world full of bullshit waiting for the moment when we both get free. The moment of my death.
I wish I never meant you. Because if I never meant you, I would never know this feeling that haunts me every day, this sickening feeling that feels like I’m incomplete, lost, missing something. And indeed I am, I don’t have you to call mine anymore, your “hers” and I don’t know which hurts more the things you tell me or the fact that your still with her despite how you feel for me.
When I hear people say “I love you” to their partners I wonder if they actually know what love is, how it consumes every inch of your body and soul, how […]
Some of you may know me, others.. be thankful you don’t.
This is the first of 3 post I’ll write. Then I think it’ll be time;
Like waiting on the storm to pass..
Like waiting for the go ahead to breath again..
but my breathe rest solely on you now.
So now I wait. Frozen in time.
Time no longer exists.
The fate hangs in the balance.
What will be will be.
How do you convince someone..
ask someone… “Please, do not go into the light, rather,
come back, into the darkness..”
You don’t. You cant…. but I will.
I beg you, come back into the darkness.
Here […]
so I decided that I’m going to try to turn over a new leaf and make myself see the positive in my life. I came extremely close the other day to trying to make an end I realized I didn’t want, that I shouldn’t want. I was wondering if any of you had any suggestions on ways to take little steps to help me see the happy and positive things in my life?
soo…hi.. ^^
well i dont know where to start…i became 17 last december…since i was a kid i fucked up everything..
literally everything…school..relatives.. even my parents dont want me with them..im not good at studying..
im just useless..my family wanst a good one either.. parents devorced..had to live with step mom..and it was horrible.. then i went to cyprus
where my mom worked..i wasnt good with my step father either..i just didnt know how to communicate..
slowly i go used to people..language..made friends.. still..i was lonely..even tho i laugh..i feel really empty..my mom was complaining about how low my grades are..
that i stuck to […]
Okay, so I haven’t put anything positive recently, but here’s something for you that might make you smile, even a little bit.
On here I’ve found a multitude of people who want to die, and a few have probably succeeded, but no one truly dies.
You see when you meet someone and you speak to them and get to know them, you impart a portion of yourself on them.
When your loved ones speak to someone you knew, they’ll hear your voice layered within theirs.
It’s been more of 2 years my ex dump me…she don’t want talk to me but I wanna back to her I’m still have feelings for her. The thing is hurt me we were LDR I travel to her 2 times and she didn’t even visited me once in our relationship of 1 year and half. I know for someone close my ex has a new bf and they are LDR also and this guy never visit her even once but she went to see this guy 2 times and she is doing stuff she never did to me but she is doing for this […]
Ok lets get this started (warning mumbling) ok so im a guy and theres this other guy. So when his soppositly girlfriend told me and another boy her bohfriend is gay then she said no hes bisexual. My heart started raseing.. I was so happy but then felt sad becuz i Think she just said that for messing around. So ever since that i just cant stand the earg to just ask him. Aghhh i new him since 4th grade im in 8th grAde. Im bi too so what should i do
Depression is nothing new for me. Neither is anxiety. But lately I find I am irritable and angry. I get annoyed over every little thing and I imagine I’m driving the very few people I have, absolutely mad. What is one to do?
Don’t you hate it when you’re so certain you want to go, and you meet someone new and they fuck it up?
Someone new and interesting who actually wants to get to know you.
I want to leave but I want to speak to you more.
So confused.