im being hopeful for this sucky job at wal mart (not what i went to college for). its my last chance to provide for my family, get away from my my folks (blood family) and pay through school. if this doesnt go well, well, yknow.
Sunrise a new day,
Night came and left,
Today’s the same way.
Nothing new,
It’s just like before.
Still want to die,
Everyday feel it more.
As each day goes by,
It becomes clearer to see.
Few give a fuck,
Who’s there for me?
Many good words,
People they say.
You have reason to live,
You have reason to stay.
But what they don’t know,
Is what they can’t see.
Until the day comes,
Maybe then cry over me.
You’re welcome.
It’s funny: people talk about how easy it is to find places on the internet about how to kill yourself. But, when you go looking, there’s actually very little. The “joke” sites far outnumber the serious ones. In fact, the only true serious one I’ve ever found is lostallhope dot com. It alone appears to have serious and well-researched information available on different methods.
But I’m serious about the Vipassana meditation and that book I mentioned. It sounds clichéd to say that “it opened a whole new world for me”, but, well, it opened a whole new world for me. And mindfulness meditation really is […]
Congratulations Cattygirl, leader of the free mind. You’ve not only led yourself into a distinct glass case of personal emotion, but you’ve also blinded yourself from the opportunities of ever getting out.
See, you’ve met someone. Not in the romantic sense, but a new optimism. He sees the world in you. The world of chances, the world of past regrets molded into morals. And you’ve decided, through lack of individual distinction that you will give this boy your undivided attention, whilst also shielding him from ever knowing the real you.
But who honestly is the real you? Do you even know anymore? All this talk of moving […]
So, if any of you have been following any of my posts, Im going through a horrible time with losing my girls. I took over some lime skittles (almost impossible to find now and they were her favorite), a barbie for my little girl, and a card with some cash for her to use on whatever. I left them on her doorstep this morning and said in the card, “you dont need to call or text and thank me, I just want you to know I care and am thinking about you”
She sent me an email this morning that said, “I received your gifts on […]
Alright so this is better than spewing shit out on twitter to people who know you, or potential employeers…
Anyways so I just started my new job, but I’ve always had a problem with social environments.
It’s hard for me to interact with people around me, and the work gets so busy. I end up feeling pretty alone sometimes.
Also a lack of social confidence at a work place? It’s no good to say the least. People don’t look at you the same way.
Funny thing is I used to be much better, even though I used to be quiet, I used to be good with girls! My mojo […]
Would love to just run away from everything, start new then return better and feeling normal
hi all,
I stumbled across this site after numerous related searches…maybe it will feel “like home”. i’m turning 36 in 2 days and I never thought my life would be like this. I was always one of those positive people that said and believed things like “you determine your destiny” and “your life is what you make of it.” apparently, I’ve made a mess. it’s not that there is any one problem or even a list of problems. it’s that my whole life IS the problem. the simple fact that I exist and continue to exist is the problem. it’s beyond the point of “cheer up” […]
Hello, I am new to this site, I am 23 years old and I have been thinking about suicide since I was a teenager, I did not really have a difficult childhood or family life, I just fail to see the meaning in living, I am not really depressed about not achieving something, fitting in or getting acceptance from anyone, I just seem to not find any meaning to anything this universe has to offer, whether god, religion, humanity or what ever else, it seems like the human will to live is connected to all the lies we tell ourselves or the lies we are […]
Spent quality time with mom and got a new pair of shoes for seventy percent off.
But the best part of my day was hearing from a friend who I haven’t seen in a few months. She asked me for some advice regarding a farewell gift for her co-worker. It’s always enjoyable speaking with her. She is an absolute sweetheart.
I moved out to Corona, California in June of 2013, and bout two months into moving to the new city I still felt new to the city and developed a sadness for being a way from my old friends. I am a 16 year old guy and I’m not much of a social person. I pretty much stuck with the same friends I had living in my old town. But back then I was more social and interactive with my friends, I actually did things outside of school and home with my friends. The last time I had a girlfriend was 2012. But now living […]
Got a new shrink who says I should consider in-patient treatment.
Seriously don’t want to.
Any clue from anyone who has been down that path would be helpful.
So, if you’ve ever voluntarily gone, what was your typical day like?
I can’t trust anyone, not even myself. This feeling unsettles me and my world is built on quicksand.
I couldn’t even stay home by myself earlier because I know there is danger in the silence. My brain explores every unsavory character flaw I possess. I hate being this way. I can’t help but tongue the wounds and look for new ones.
I don’t want to die. At least I don’t think I do. Maybe I’m wrong. Sometimes I know I need to though. Lately there’s a lot of knowing. Like right now. I stare at my daughter and I know she deserves better than […]
Murderous bastards!
The unholy gleam takes it’s root
Splinting and shivering in every pupil.
Pupil, pupil- dilate as such!
Show me movement in your harsh breeding;
The curses fall from your lips and spatter onto my face.
They are like pennies, new and heavy on my skin.
The skin! Around my eyes it is purpled, like dark fruit,
And tissue-thin; it often hurts me.
Poor weakness! Hard eyeballs cup themselves in my sockets
And weigh me down like a hole in a boat.
I am too meek for this heftiness.
My soul claws and sobs to me like a sleepless baby
And there isn’t anything left.
The sweet sunbeams, the dull peonies
Are as empty as my heart, and they […]
I stopped into a bar the other day for a pint of new castle, on my way home from work of course!
I sat down, not too many folks at the bar..a couple playing pool! Anyways..
I’m sitting there and this (kinda) young dude is sitting there talking it up with the tendie, sounding like he had had a few already. So I’m sitting there just sorta chiming in on conversations going on, sipping my ale… And then me and this young dude get to talking about death and old age.
We both made it plain in our opinions that living past a certain age […]
Every time I walk into my psychiatrist’s office, I walk out with a new prescription. Makes me sick.
Un, deux, trois. Morlock. I am a rock, not a gold one, but my blood is. Of toxic hell.
Where. Seeking the nature and land, the base, the refuge, for the sanctum. Eight bills a month. Perhaps we can salvage the Lexus RX and get me a new ride, or something. Seeking the healing party house out in the rural. For the Butterfly empire, transmogrify into our dreams, conquer our wings. Behind the Thirteenth Gate. The saga of the Sacred-Clown, and the Mages.
“Butterfree! Use ‘Iron-Wing’ attack!”
Man, I love Pokémon. Travel by air with my strong Butterfree.
Standing on my feet, hanged by a rope […]
Well, the way I see it, at this point in my life the depression has the biggest chance of winning… But I’ll be damned if I’ll sit by and let it take me down without a fight.
I know my chances of surviving until the next year are very slim. I’ve accepted that. Death does not haunt me, but neither does it call my name as intently as it did several days ago.
After reading over everyone’s encouragement and advice, I’ve made up my mind. I can either succumb to the darkness right now or I can try as hard as I can to escape it. Granted, […]
Long ago there was a little boy (he was six years old at the time)who played all alone by himself everyday.the little boy never had any friends.the reason for this was that his mother kept having to move them from place to place for new jobs.they werent stable.because of this the boy fell behind in school and felt stupider than the rest of the kids in his grade.he also didnt know what the new trends were and what was ”cool” to the other kids.the boy tried so very very hard to fit in.he just couldnt do it.he tried and tried and tried but no luck. […]
OK, I understand you all guys are screwed-up in life and wanted to suicide.
so what? after all you are one in millions who want to die.
is there any post on sp which really making a point about new perspective of life OR death ?