This year is especially hard for me. I’m separated, no close family, no close friends, new medical issues, no job, no kids, no pets… No one to be with through the holidays.
I see post after post on Facebook of people with either friends and/or family. All i want to do is cry!
I’m in so much pain physically and emotionally, i just want it to stop!
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Hi all,
So i am writing this post, lying on the bed, completely scared about my physical/mental state. My anxiety has taken a new, aggressive form and my physical condition is getting worse day by day.
I have been learning a lot about how to cope with all disorders i have. I have learnt not to give up. But day by day this monster of anxiety has been becoming more powerful.
Sometimes i seriously think i will have a heart attack/stroke because of the way anxiety has affected my body. I am again on the verge of giving up. I know i won’t give up easily; but now […]
I am an international student in Philadelphia, USA. I have no job and I can’t pay tuition fees anymore. I can’t go back my country. I just want to die asap. I want to die peacefully. Thank you.
Merry christmas to all here every day is a new day hope all have a great holidays im hopeing 2016 will be better year for all
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I keep searching for my purpose and for something…anything that can make me forget everything. Sometimes like a couple of days ago, yesterday, today… I wish there was a little pill that can erase all my memories. I want to wake up a new and different person and see life and see the world with a different perspective because i can’t do it on my own. I’m more than damaged, I’m half dead.
Before I start this, I know it will be all over the place so it will most likely make no sense. But I want to keep a document of what happens with the new voices and Angels.
The new voices are getting worse. They’re louder, and Jeremy isn’t back. Now there’s only four of them at any given time. There’s one set of four that are awful. I hate them. One is a constant intake of breath that is considerably louder than the others. Another comments on what I’m doing, but in a way which is mockingly. The last two are too quiet to be comprehendible, […]
Been lurking on this site for a while. I have suffered from anxiety and depression since I was about 12. I really struggle to make it through the day because the thoughts are so bad . Probably sounds pathetic but my appearance is the main reason I want to die it’s become really hard for me not to check myself in the mirror frequently am especially self conscious about my hair which to me always looks crap no matter how hard I try , even when I get it done by a professional it still doesn’t look good enough to me. I have been to […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
So, I’m meeting my new counselor today after the old one left. Heh, the current record is 2 out of 3 psychs left now. I wonder if this one will have any luck at getting me to stop lying.
Imagination.
Imagine having no spouse, no significant other. Nobody that gives a shit whether you live, or die.
Imagine losing your house, or rather having it taken from you on the whims of others. Imagine this happening multiple times.
Imagine your children scoffing at your efforts, your love, your time, your value in their lives. Imagine living as a money tree, only visited when the fruits of your efforts are desirable pickings.
Imagine not being worthy of friendship, companionship, or love. You know this through constant and consistent demonstration.
Imagine being shunned by coworkers and peers. You are not enough. You are weird. Why do you wear that hat freak?
Imagine […]
I got fired today . I honestly feel better . I got fired because I was late . & this is my first time being late . But it’s whatever . I could care less . That place is fucking toxic. I feel like everyone there bully’s me. So I don’t care . I feel like that place was really bringing me down . I need a new environment and new people .
I hope to make a change in my life
22, male suffering from emotional, mental and physical pain.
No real friends. They all left after high school and the ones I kept are either doing their own thing or gone separate ways. I don’t go out or socialize. If I do, it’s rare.
Riddled with anxiety. Can’t get a girlfriend, still a Virgin. Hopeless at talking to girls and developing new friendships or relationships. Good talk but never goes anywhere far. I’m seen as too nerdy or mature. I just hate how people view me as some sort of stranger.
Physical pain. Suffering from back pain, shoulder pain, knee pain. Can’t do anything physical anymore. Job involves […]
Life was new
All to see; all to hear
All to feel, all was real
Then there was a bend in the road
The stars come out
With wonders and thrills
Miracles and spectacles
Then another bend in the road
Dreams and love
Hands in hands
An embrace; a kiss
And yet another bend in the road
Time and age
Love is now rage
Peace becomes pain
Then again, a bend in the road
No path remains clear
No wonder just fear
Seeds have been sown
Now, my load is end of the road.
I have a huge crush on one guy from school for, like, forever now.. New country and new school was a rough start for me, but when I saw him for the first time, everything slowed down, my heart stopped and my brain freeze. His eyes are pale gray and when he looks at me I feel as if he is burning through my soul right out. It hurts my bones to see him, for a moment each time I see him I get a strange stabbing sensation all over my body. I am a pain addict in general, I don’t like self harm, but […]
I find my self not caring even more every day. What’s the point?
I don’t have any friends anymore . I’m practically alone . And at first I was scared but now I’m fine. I feel awkward being in public . I’m still really social , I just feel like people are judging me .
I find enjoyment in going on dates with other men. This is my secret . I done this so many times. i get to feel like the spotlight is on me for 3 seconds . But in the end none of these men make me happy . I don’t feel the need […]
i am totally alone and lonely .. I have no friends at all have no one to talk to or to see or anything else
I’ve lost all my friends for my boyfriend who had left me .. alone !
today wasn’t any better than the last whole YEAR and a half .! duh.!
I want to do something to be alive but I have nothing in mind
I want to be new when 2016 comes
I want it to be a new year not another copy of 2013 becouse after 2013 all the years was just a worst copies of it .! I want […]
New years about a month away.
Somehow i want this year to finish yet i dont want 2016 to start.
Cus nothings gonna change, people always say stupid fucking shit like, new years resolution and turn over a new leaf.
But the truth is we will all be the same.
The people better than me(almost everyone i know) will keep getting better and ill still be stuck in the same old shit.
And ofc, she still wont know i love her and will continue to ignore my existence.
My acedamics will keep on falling till they hit the ned rock.
And finally, i will keep […]
For something, that will stop me jumping, The ground looks so welcoming.
by Rotted_Flesh
written by Rotted_Flesh
I’m nothing, I’m nothing.
Alone in this apartment, racking my brain,
For something, that will stop me jumping,
The ground looks so welcoming.
I’m nothing, I’m nothing.
Am I being who I want or who I am?
The time has come for me to face, What I’m saying between white space
A change of pace.
Maybe I’ll grow wings, fly somewhere new,
Where I’m all alone, where the skies are blue.
Try to say goodbye, all I do is lie,
Don’t know what to write, carve a picture of the night.
Painting with ink like it’s blood,
Tearing my notebooks apart, To stop myself from going too far.
Maybe […]
I haven’t posted on this site in a while (though I read often from time to time). So what is this new paid member subscription thing?
hello. i’m a 19 yr. old female, just joined. i have depression, social anxiety, and self-esteem issues. i’ve never actually attempted suicide, but i’ve wanted to die many times, and especially this past year. my life is crud and i don’t really do anything. i dropped out of school early last year because of bullying, and i haven’t finished. i don’t work, i live with my parents who are alcoholics. i don’t have any friends. i’ve never had a boyfriend. i’m obese and ugly. i don’t feel like my life is worth living anymore. the only thing i do remotely well is write poetry. well, […]