Idk what he wants from me. He knows how to change my feelings every second. And it’s just pain to always be strong. Always show him I’m better now. It’s like he knows what makes me melt and what hurts me. And then at night. I get pushed to my limit and no one knows. No one ever will know.
Tag:
night
no one knows what am going thru, life is just one big fucking joke to me and no one cares. i cry myself to sleep every night. I’m so fucking useless that y everyone walks out of my life. They dnt care about me. as soon as i die everyone will be so glad im gone. thats if they even remember i exist
I just finished my last cigarette and I’m sitting outside looking over the past and present and I can’t help but to feel sad. I just realized how alone I really am. I have no friends, no one to talk to, and nothing to do. My sleep schedule is messed up; I sleep all day and stay awake all night, so everything is shrouded by silence and I’m my only friend. I feel lonely. I’ve lost everything that once made me feel alive and that’s all I think about. I wish I had someone, anyone, to make me feel again. My life revolves around YouTube […]
A quick disappointing blur. That is what my 23 years have been so far. Maybe it isnt worth dying over. Maybe its not that bad. I have always doubdted myself at every turn, ever since I was a young boy .When I learned that i didnt know my father because I am the product of a drunken one night stand. My biological father was not present because he had to take care of his REAL family. I now have severe social anxiety, its impossible for me to talk to women, or most people for that matter. and I stay inside with my cats most days. […]
maybe i feel much more of a purpose, ive gone my whole life be selfish, no im more alone then i ever was, even during my past depression. I have anxitey, last night it leaked in to my dreams, as i shook the fetal postion for a drop of compassion. maybe i just hope someone would help me, i put on a ever so happy front, when this depression stuck so down deep, i wish someone would help me, show me
Well the honest reason is that I suddenly realised that I’m sick of trying. I’m sick of it all. I go to sleep at night telling myself that it’s almost over, just be strong for a little while longer take it one day at a time. But I can’t do it. I feel like I spend every second trying to just hold on. Trying not to break. I don’t know if I can do it anymore. I just want it to be over. Is that really so bad? I’m tired and I need it to be over. I don’t have anything left in me. It’s […]
This is not going to be an easy night, but i have made promises to people that i care for deeply that I will not doing anything crazy. As most of my posts, I praise my brother because he is the honestly the only reason I am still here. Love you brother and I hope my problems do not take away from your honeymoon. Sleep well SP.
Damn it, here I am again. Tired of life and everyone in it. Just took a walk to the highway. Kind of empty this time of night. Sort of like me. Anyway, I guess I am living for another day. Living on borrowed time.
I am in such a shit mood right now, and I don’t fucking know why.Â
I was all happy and laughing an hour ago, and then I had a shower and hate a complete breakdown in there for 10 minutes. I then kept seeing this girl in there with me and I got really freaked out over it and started having a panic attack because I thought they’d stopped appearing in the bathroom. So I was in there for an extra 25 minutes having a full out panic attack, and then I came out the shower and started blow drying my hair in the kitchen when […]
my parents gave me the choice to see a psychologist since she noticed I seemed different. I accepted and was all hopeful about things getting better, but now I’m not. she cant take away my coping methods they are fucking mine. I feel so stupid that I wanted help for so long but now that I have it I don’t want it anymore. I wrote a suicide note last night, but im scared since my last attempt failed miserably :(I need to find a way that would guarantee death 🙁
Sorry for my spelling
** I am awake all night, depressed, derik beating me down all night, with nothing to hold onto, and I pick up my phone, wondering where my friend Jessica has been recently because I hadent seen her in about a year, when a missing persons list shows up. I do some research, look through all of the Info and it really is her… One of my closest friends missing. Her mother was discovered with a meth lab in her basement, and Jessica did’t want to go to foster care. I guess she left her phone packed her bags and left. She dose […]
My life hasnt been living…its just been a slow and painful trip down to the grave….no one gives a shit about me…if I were to drop dead no one would care. Would anyone care to know why I want to slit my wrists every night? would it matter if I did???
I am ‘the thing’.
Evolve me. Clap- clap. Clap- clap.
From hell. Clap- clap. Clap.
Evolve me. Evolve me. Clap- clap. Clap-clap.
From hell. From hell! Clap- clap- clap!
From hell! From hell! Clap- clap- clap- clap- clap- clap.
Forever and ever. Always and forever.
My name is Nevermore.
I am ‘the thing’. Celestial Slowbro and Golduck.
Only eye-candy. Staryu and Starmie.
Let me be. Let me be. Take me. Pull me.
Oracle, I have monthly bounty.
Let us go, and grow plants and flowers, perhaps.
Let me go train like a fire pokemon. Never end rock pokemon.
Machamp is the champ, he can beat Mewtwo.
“But you don’t know what it’s like to wake up in the middle of the night, scared with the thought of kissing razors”
~Pierce the Veil
A switch.
That’s how I’d describe my mentality.
During the day I’m this bubbly ignorant person who brushes everything off of her shoulders. Smiling all the time. I’m not even sure if the smiles are real or polite. Anyways, that’s how I am during the day. But at night? It’s a complete flip. The opposite of my “Day” self. Like a switch. It’s as if your lights turn on and the deepest darkest corners of my mind come to light. And when the artifcial light goes out, those thoughts do too. I don’t know.
I don’t remember what it’s like, not to have a scar insight.
Tell me where I went wrong in life.
I don’t remember when I didn’t cry myself to sleep at night.
The nightmares seem to follow me.
I can’t remember a time I was actually alright.
What’s wrong with me?
When did my pain become so visually seen?
The scars are showing my history.
When did my brain turned on me?
I can’t look in the mirror anymore, because i’m afraid of what I’ll see.
Tell me when everyone turned their back on me?
They can’t see the darkness inside me.
When did I […]
I must do it now. Now is the perfect time to do it. Now is probably the only chance i’ll ever get. my graduation completed last week. my sister’s marriage is also done. I am free right now. absolutely free. if i stick another month or so i’ll be expected to start finding a job. and i know i can’t do it at the time when i am expected to do some worldly thing. right now i am free. i must do it now. if i miss this opportunity i know i will regret that my whole life. my whole life will be ruined. i […]
I started cutting a year ago in March when it happened. I was having a sleepover with my two friends Kiaya and Amanda. We all slept in my bed which was big enough to fit all of us. I was in the middle. I woke up in the middle of the night to whispers from Kiaya. She was talking from the perspective of a guy towards me in a seductive way. I didn’t do anything about it because I wasn’t sure what was happening. That’s when she leaned in and kissed me when my eyes were closed. She stole my first kiss, but that was […]
So, I’ve been depressed for about 2 years when my ex broke up with me. It wasn’t like that at first; I gradually became depressed.
Anyhow, she was my first girlfriend at the age of (me) 23, and (her) 18.
Unable to move past her, despite trying, I tried to suffocate my self with a plastic grocery bag and a couple of rubberbands over my head and neck, respectfully. First time I panicked within three minutes; second time my skin started to tingle in the hands and feet.
I had left my ex a little deathnote, asked her not to stop me, and ended up stopping myself twice. […]
hitting out of a leaf spiff.
the music cycles through the zodiac.
it seems at the end, we have lost.
only me. staring at the cat.
the bunny bit me, and I bled.
the purple sky turns the water red.
devil shines through the mind.
what is your color of black.
on to the next tract. what will be.
in the hands of faith.
the moon and the night.
in darkness. the story of the lost knight.
death. a horsemen.
seems like we hold a chain, all of us.
exiled from the mystical realm.
i am losing.