There is black hole that lives inside me.
It slowly takes away everything. It slowly got bigger and bigger and I feel emptier and emptier. I can feel it crushing my bones, pushing and squeezing my organs.
I don’t remember how I got infected or if it was always there. But now I am filled with emptiness. I know what happiness is, I understand it and I know I will never feel it. There is nothing in this world that I want or that could stop my black hole from devouring me.
I only remember a routine I am suppose to follow to fit in […]
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no one
I’ve decided to create an account today, because it is my final attempt to have my voice heard. Efforts will be made to console and reassure me that the world of hell that I’ve been imprisoned in for twenty-two years is worth living; I’m beyond approach. I’m a girl who was born into a highly dysfunctional family, to a mother who showed nothing more than apathy towards me, to a fatherless home. That’s not why I’m here. My upbringing didn’t bring me to the place that I’m at right now.
My mother died when I was in twelfth grade and the depression and underlying psychological […]
The moments when I sit at home alone, and everyone I know is busy. That’s when I finally realize how alone I truly am and it Makes me sad. To know that I have no real true friends nor family that care even just a little. No one ever notices, i feel like I’m not allowed to cry to be weak. But today I feel alone and everything that I push away comes up to the surface and I feel the pain, the emptiness.
I always say things I shouldnt and I always mess things up so im just gonna stop talking to people then I cant mess anything up because there is nothing to mess up and ill be alone anyway so no one to hurt when I die
Every time I set out to write, a book comes spilling out. I’ve deleted four fucking entries. The problems are too vast. I need to talk to someone who cares about me, someone I can be honest with, but there is no one. There is only my sister, and she has mental problems of her own and gets frustrated with other problems easily and then won’t talk to me for a long time in order to recover. I am so alone. My best friend abandoned me and I have no future. I’m 31 and my “boyfriend” treats me like crap. We both live with his […]
i know that my parents love me and want the best for me since I’m their only daughter but they don’t have to be rude about it. I stopped cutting 2 months ago after breaking a 3 year period because of my mother. She calls me a dumba** because i forgot to wear my brace while playing basketball with the guys at my school, I don’t understand since my doctor told me I didn’t need it anymore. Not only that but when I try to talk to her calmly she makes me cry and says “Don’t be a little bi*** stop crying, you know what […]
I have been sitting here reading your posts and I want to break down and weep for all of you. I wish I could give each of you a hug and tell you how much I care and how my heart breaks over the pain you feel. I don’t know you, but I love you. You are worthy of love and you are worthy of life. You are worth it. I understand how difficult life can be, I have attempted suicide, but I have learned to love myself, so can you. It seems like no one is there to listen, but I am here. If […]
I’ve been in hospital psych ward for two weeks now. I self admitted to try and regulate my meds. Things aren’t going as smoothly as I had hoped. There are clearly people worse off than I. I have been witness to some aggressive personalities, situations that have occurred beyond my wildest imagination, and today my roommate made an attempt on her life that has struck me to the core. I have come to realize that any healing has to come from within. There is no one out there to help you. You are alone in this mess you find yourself in and there are two […]
To whom it may concern,
I wish i was a better story teller to describe why i am where i am today. But all i can really think of to share is the present moment. I am a 28 year old male with a fantastic dog great girlfriend low rent and seemily great life. The problem is no job… without a job means i will be forced to give away my dog lose my girlfriend home and great life style. Happiness has a price. I am finally realizing that it cost money to breathe and live in this world. Without a job to gain money i […]
Hello, I’m new here. I have stumbled upon this site before while doing research for my own sad suicidal thoughts. Â I’m 24 years old and I am a wife, mother of two, and full time college student. Â My life has been a constant uphill battle against depression, which started when my father took his life when I was 11 years old. Â Sometimes I feel so alone in this world and I just want to disappear. Â I wish there was a place where I could just be numb and have no feeling at all. Â I started attempting suicide in my teenage years by cutting myself and […]
So I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for pretty much my entire life.
I really see no joy in most things. I feel like I’ve mostly lived my life for other people, I can’t really recall feeling genuinely happy since I was young. It feels like my life has just sort of been a series of unfortunate events; which would be enough, but I just don’t seem to have the ability to deal with it.
Everyone I’ve grown up with has distanced themselves from me and ignores me now. When I try to make new friends people pretty much do the same. I push myself so […]
my whole life hasnt been easy it started when I was 2 my dad hung himself in his office at work I dont remember him except this one time we wer watching racing on tv i was on his lap thats all I remember of him then at age 6 my sisters boyfriend touched me I was too young to understand what happened but when he was caught doing it to another kid he was arrested police asked me but I was too scared,of what people would think of me he went to prison for 2 years then at age 8 we moved from my […]
I’ve attempted to overdose on many different things.. Last night I tried to overdose on what was left of my 200mg seraquel… When I awoke I couldn’t move my body, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t function… My dad came over to bring me food and had seen what I had done.. I reminded him of my aunty, she committed suicide a few years ago.. He kicked me to the ground.. My boyfriend abused me for the pathetic attempt. Something wants me to be alive, and slowly suffer..Â
I know im a pathetic person, I know I’m mental, I know I’m manipulative, im […]
I feel like I should have done something more to help. More often then not I feel completely useless. I worry that when I tell him these things he is on his side of the line rolling his eyes. The more I think the sadder I become. I want to stop thinking. I want to end it all. I try to change myself into to something else and lose sight of who I am. Am I even who I think I am? I have so many questions not getting answered. Not that anyone should even worry. I am prone to ruining shit especially relationships. I […]
It’s pretty simple actually. First, you need to buy a plane ticket and travel far far away to an island called Hell. It’s a very mysterious place. In order to survive there you dont need to do a single thing. The bad thing is that you dont gain anything either i guess. You’re just stuck. No one really knows where this place is located or when you’ll get there, but trust me, you will get there eventually. Once you arrive, do NOT rest. Start immediately to search for a way out of there! You will probably meet others there. Some are lying on the ground […]
I’m so alone. i never want to be around anybody. i literally want to shoot myself in the face right now, because Im already fucked up and i might as well end it all. i dont want to be alive and literally no one loves me. and i dont love myself. or anyone else except my dad. but seriously, ready to end it all man.
Opening day everyone is perfect
Nothing but hope in the air
Everyone happy without a care
With my luck losses add up
Outlook gets darker by the day
Can my team make one last run
Maybe, here they go its starting to look up
Your grasping, 20 games back 20 to go
It can be done, but no reality sets in
and no its over, time to turn off the tv
Hopes and dreams crashed again.
No one even talks about them anymore
Hats are changed jersey taken off
Final bell sounds
A little about myself.
I’m a 24 year old male from the UK, and I have suffered with depression on an official basis since 2009 after a failed suicide attempt, it began in 2005 I think. I work in food retail (Don’t do it, it’ll make you want to kill people). And I’ve done it for over 5 years.
But what about the title I see you ask, why “Fight or Flight?”
Because I feel it’s the only two choices I’ve got left. See recently I returned to the workplace which was a huge contributing factor to my mental break down I had back in December 2013, the […]
Expectations have destroyed me it’s hurts to be here anymore every one thinks I act this way for attention (and by every one I mean my parents) I’ve tried confessing to my parents but my Mom just yelled at me and told me it’s normal I should just get used to it but I don’t want to be used to this pain and unhappiness I’ve felt for ten years my dad took a whole different approach he threatened to take my doors off and get my admitted in an insane asylum I know it’s not normal the way I feel but I have no one […]
“you put me through hell cause loving you is a war
I hope to God you’re happy, I hope that you had fun”
*Nothing’s Forever; Jamestown*
“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness”
*How to Save a Life; The Fray*
“You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye”
*Say Something; A Great Big World*
“If love’s a fight, then I shall die,
with my heart on a trigger.”
*Angel With a Shotgun; The Cab”
“You don’t know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you”
*The Scientist; Coldplay*
“Til all my sleeves are stained red