black hole

There is black hole that lives inside me.
It slowly takes away everything. It slowly got bigger and bigger and I feel emptier and emptier. I can feel it crushing my bones, pushing and squeezing my organs.
I don’t remember how I got infected or if it was always there. But now I am filled with emptiness. I know what happiness is, I understand it and I know I will never feel it. There is nothing in this world that I want or that could stop my black hole from devouring me.
I only remember a routine I am suppose to follow to fit in as I become less and less human.
I wake up in the morning, have breakfast, get on the subway, apologise to the person i accidentally elbowed on my way in, do my job, smile, nod and look attentive, listen as they speak and wonder how can so much emotion exist in one person, talk to my co-workers, ask about their weekend, comment about the weather, get home, maybe visit my parents (by obligation), call a friend (again obligation),pretend, pretend, pretend… people talk about how horrible pain is, but what about emptiness?
It is no one’s fault. not you, not me. Well “me” doesn’t really exist any more. “Me” is just a shadow of a person infected with a black hole.