my mother died last year. she had cancer. now l am all alone. l have nobody and no one cares. l don’t live in the present. l have no future. l have no quality of life. l am just existing. l have a bunch of sleeping pills and am ready to take them. l hate my life and wish to be dead.
Tag:
no one
When I take that blade to my wrist
no one in the world exists.
And when when I think about it, cause I do
I truly do not think of you.
So why be sad or disappointed
when your not the one that I anointed.
So why care ? Cause you do
but why care? Â I wouldn’t if I were you.
She’s 13
and can already
tell you everything about
self destruction.
She can tell you how
to dress fresh cuts
in the dark with
makeshift bandages.
And which foods are easy
to throw up.
She knows a thousand
excuses,”I already ate”
“I’m just cold” , “the cat did it”
She learned to hold
all her feelings inside
until late at night
and cover her mouth
with her hand
so no one hears her.
She […]
I guess im just Tired
Tired of being bitched about by my parents.
Tired of being laughed at.
Tired of being made fun of.
Tired of feeling ugly.
Tired of being ignored.
Tired of feeling unloved.
Tired of no one caring.
Tired of pretending to be happy.
Tired of being Tired.
if I committed suicide…
I wonder how many
gasps,
cries,
screams,
tears,
or words will be spoken as a sign of love.
But them I remembered…
It’s 2:30 am and I’m
alone,
tired,
scared,
sore,
and silently screaming for help no one really
notices,
cares,
thinks,
shows any sort of affection.
if I commit suicide…
please don’t say you
loved me,
missed me,
cared for me ,
or found beauty within me,
or I should’ve tried harder.
Because […]
So basically this is my first post and it’s going to be shitty sorry.
…buuut yeah, my name is Brianna and honestly, I don’t want to be living here on this bullshit planet any longer. I’m tired of getting judged by the music I listento, the clothes I wear, what I look like the next day, and so forth. My life to me is honestly completely useless. I wake up everyday feeling like a mistake, and that I should’ve never been born. I’ve been called names like slut, emo, ****, *****, and been told that no one likes me, I’m depressed all the time, I […]
So, I overdosed last Tuesday night and I was sick for a few days afterwards and I’ve had pains all in my stomach since. No one except a friend at school knows I tried to kill myself, and she didn’t think much of it and made a joke about it. That made me think I was pathetic. That I was stupid and pathetic. And that made me think of doing it again. With even more pills this time.
The shadow people are back again. They try to hurt me again. They hold my head under the bath again. I can feel them on me in bed, […]
Death is a thought that every once in a while draws me closer and closer. The loneliness on nights where sleep can’t come any faster and I hear that monster talking me into death. No one will miss this pathetic little man. No one loves me, no one acknowledges me, I tend to be ignored by most. I guess I should take my life but what stops me is that life is not mine to take even my own. And so I guess I will suffer until the day comes maybe I deserve pain, some of us do. If I fail maybe tomorrow I may […]
who is to say who gets to be the judge in life? Â who gets to say who has more power? who gets to say that other people are wrong? everyone has the right. there is no one person who is above everyone else. you may be judging people, but people can still judge you. you are no different than the people around you. everyone has an opinion. but nobody has the right to condemn others. because if you do, then they have the right to condemn you.
.Lately I’ve been noticing a reoccurring theme in my life; never getting put first. It’s been this way for as long as I can remember in all aspects of my life. Whether it be involving friendships, relationships, family matters it’s always the same. Just once it would be nice if someone would put me and my well being first as their top priority and take into consideration my feelings and care about me. It’s really sad how I’m constantly looked over and everyone assumes I’m fine and no one seems to care about how I’m doing or feeling.
I don’t know how to be the way I used to be. Happy, caring, and ignorant. I have such a hard time when I get sad. I’m not depressed, I don’t think so. I’m happy, or at least semi-happy at times. I’m not a person that is miserable all the time. But when I do get upset I hit rock bottom. I lock myself up and cry and scrape my fists on brick walls.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what the hell happened. It’s as if someone snapped their fingers and I turned into someone started to disprove of, […]
I’m tired, i’m killed
just bcz of wat u did
the moment i trusted u the most
u simply killed all my hopes
my love was always veryy true
n i was utmost loyal to u too
even then u had to go far
but baby, it just tore me apart
all this when u always knew
i cud never bear the distance between me and you
what we had was so beautiful and so strong
i just could never know when did i go wrong
ya, der was jsz 1 mistake dat i made
i do xcpt it,regret it n m ready to corrct […]
Around last year, 7th grade, I started feeling depressed for no reason. I was crying every day and getting suicidal thoughts. My mother got me tested and we found out I have depression. I have switched medicines I think 3 times now. Lately I have stopped taking my medicine and I have been feeling better, but tonight I fell asleep or something and woke up with my internet pulled up with “can I overdose on celexa” in the search bar. I started crying. I still haven’t stopped. I thought about it and I’m actually thinking about what it would be like if I did kill […]
Everybody hates me, no one cares.
I’ve never liked when someone asked me how i was feeling because it seems like no one understood that i didn’t have the answer to that question. People only see emotions as black or white and they don’t realize the grey area that is between. People get frustrated with me because i always answer ”i don’t know” to that question and they ask ”how can you not know what you’re feeling?” well i don’t get it either because sometimes i don’t just feel sad or happy. I can’t even tell them that i feel numb because they wouldn’t understand that either. ”How can you feel […]
I did promise I wouldn’t abandon this place. I don’t know why I care so much about the people I’ve never met behind the stories I’ll never really know. I guess I just feel for you and your darkness. I wish I could take it because it seems so wasteful.
I am still very tired. Since my last post I’ve cycled through a few medications with no effect. I’ve found that I am not getting real sleep as I have some sort of growth in my head. I haven’t told my family I am on the verge of passing out at least 5 times a day […]
How do you get over it? How do you come to gripes with the fact that no one wants to be with you?…how do you attract people..or expect them to ignore your scars? How do you ask someone to be your shoulder to cry on?
Do others cry like you and I? Do they sigh when passed by passersby? Or when the cool kids give an awkward eye?
I’m 20. I wonder if its too late for me to learn how to make friends.
Hello *echo, echo*
Is there anyone out there?…Anybody
“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.â€
― Gautama Buddha
Out of respect, names will be changed for privacy.
yesterday was a horrible day. My mother was the first person (who knew Tom well), to discover Tom’s dead body in his hotel room. My mother and Lisa, a friend of moms who barely knew Tom apart from the occasional light teasing they shared back and forth, searched the city for him after no one had heard from him for a week. The search lead to a small area in a bad neighborhood by two restaurants and a cheap hotel, a waitress at a restaurant he used to frequent took mother to the hotel manager and got […]
I don’t know why she won’t let me leave, the schooling that I’ve had hasn’t taught me to write. I will never be able to talk again, either. Sometime ago, right before we moved out to wherever the hell we are, I had managed to escape the place we lived and ran. I never made it far. Maybe two blocks down, she grabbed me (this is about 3 am) dragged me back to the house and tied me down. Then, she continued to drug me and said ” This is gonna hurt but try not to get blood on my shirt would ya?” She took […]