I’m flirting with death since a long time now, but I really can’t find the courage to do it. I have made an attempt a few years ago. It made me lay three months in the hospital with major injuries. At least when I was at the hospital I had the feeling that my family cared about me. Now I’m spending every day on my own and I can’t stand it anymore. I lost my left eye when I was a baby and it keeps haunting me. I’m 21 now and the thought that people get like 80-100 years old really creeps me […]
Tag:
Nobody understands
Hi guys,
I just wanted to write something down that somehow really pisses me of.
It’s not that I’m suicidal (I was last year, but now I’m over it)
It’s because I don’t feel like… yeah, like myself, somehow. I don’t feel like fitting into my life or into my body, you know what I mean? I don’t think I’m ugly or so, it’s just not MY body I think. I don’t recognize myself on pictures or in the mirror, I feel like looking at another person especially when I see pictures that were taken last year. I had long blond hair and used to wear pink or […]
Now, you may think I’m just that teenager, who goes bitching about their Mother and has tantrums about who gets the remote.
This isn’t the case.
Throughout my life, I have had a fairly descent childhood, I’m not raped, I’m not assaulted. It’s more of a psychological thing. From the age 0-7 every thing was fine and dandy. Both my Mother and my Father had a healthy relationship, two sweet little girls and a bouncy boy (me). Then it all went wrong. My Mum decided my oldest sister was responsible enough to look after us, cook for us and care for us; being 13 at the time. […]