the person that i once was died… and left behind a shell of depression… everything I do fails…. I’m all alone, I use drugs to try to kill the pain..
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not me
as a female I am constantly the objective in anything that is sexual. when I try to take a stand for ourselves we are crazy, whores, ect… you can use your imagination. well my bf and I recently got into this argument, why is it ok for him to watch porn n not me? long story short it seems to me there are double standards anyone else who can explain this?
i havent cried in over 4 years, but after she told me she loved him and not me, i lost it. i felt like i had no control over myself, i started cutting my hips with a knife, i stopped after 8. i cut as hard as i could. she called the police because she didnt know what to do. i had to lie to them and say it was a misunderstanding, but the moment they left, i broke down into tears. tonight was a perfect night. it was pouring outside, pitch black out, i literally stood out there for over an hour. now im […]
It’s funny I’m sharing my story here, cause just a couple of hours earlier I registered on here and actually posted a topic to clear my doubts regarding the suicide method I was opting for, at which I was politely told by a member here that this site is not appropriate for it. I’ve read multiple stories here, and I understand their pain, and I see they feel better having shared their stuff so I’m just trying my luck out as well, hoping I can resist the urge to die.
This basically refers to my two friends (C and M, I’m not gonna reveal the names […]
Is it wrong for someone under extreme pain to end it the only way they can? I don’t think so. If my life is hell why shouldn’t I be allowed to end it? If it’s mine I’m going to do what I want with it. It’s not your choice, it’s mine, I don’t care if my choices hurt you. That’s on you, not me.
Why was I the sperm that won?
Maybe if it were not me they would be happy
Maybe then, they would care
Maybe then, they would be able to love each other
Maybe them I am the reason
Maybe im the reason my mum and dad fight
I am not what everyone expect
I am not there little angel
I am a devil indisguise
I am the reason you cry
I do not like rules
I do not like structure
I like being me
However, you do not see
You love to control
You want me to do well
You do not understand I want to be me
You love to know what I do
However, If I told you wouldn’t believe
You do […]
i see everybody moving on, everyone whos left me. everyone who was important to me. and i have moved on too maybe physically but not mentally. i still long for those people for the talk for the closeness for the laughs for being in their presence. Some im glad have moved on the ones who were negative mean nasty but it seems as though they are happy…  then why cant i be happy. fully completely. there always seems to be something. And although  seeing the people i once considered friends, lovers, family happy should make me happy as well there is a twinge of sadness […]
I have offically liquidated all assets. Erased all memory of my existance. What I leave behind are peoples memories, and a beautiful child. I’m The last of 5, I was ignored. Made my existance and recognition on my time. I seriously lived life to my fullest. It has now collapsed after 18 yrs. For months ive debated how. No one is going with me, seriously, not my style. Ive lived alot and had a lot ive called my own. With no serious plan for the future other than day by day, I realize my error. We choose who we are. I lived in secrets and […]
I’m tired.
Life’s for those who can handle it.
Not me.
Suicide is for those who are brave enough to bid farewell.
Not me again.
So where do I fit in?
I’m closer to suicide. The pills, fast trains, slim blades, deep oceans – I don’t want to be here anymore.
I can’t endure anymore pain.
I remember when I was a very little girl, our house caught on fire.
I’ll never forget the look on my father’s face as he gathered me up
in his arms and raced through the burning building out to the pavement.
I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames.
And when it was all over I said to myself, “Is that all there is to a fire?”
Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing
Let’s break out the booze and have a ball
If […]
The thing is, my name actually isn’t lynne. It’s a mask I wear, like something out of a drama or a play. I’m not Lynne, but I like her better than me. She’s more fun, more everything. She’s the one who wrestles in the hallway with her friends like she doesn’t even care. She’s the one who says it’s awesome or “yeah, let’s do this” She’s the one everbody else wants me to be. She’s the one I want to be. But I’m NOT her. I’m just me. But sometimes, that doesn’t feel like it’s enough. It’s so hard, pretending to be her. So how […]
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