If it is to keep your life. No warning, i’m pulling a major trigger tonight. Last year 2014 (i know its hard to remember that passed) on september 11th as survivor of war left her suicide note here. Her note ended in the most hurtful self loathing lie that anyone could tell themself. This person’s handle here was trippylikenirvana. The tale she tells so clearly of her most early traumas are left to haunt us not by the images they bring forth in our minds, but by the utter cloud of confusion that formed around her after. This woman experienced a trauma early in life […]
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I haven’t posted on here in a while…my last note was sort of melodramatic. A lot has happened since then. I won’t delve into it.
I think I might have an answer. An answer to my depression, my self-harm, my self-consciousness. For years I haven’t felt comfortable in public, around other people. I’ve felt like a giraffe in a group of flamingos. Weird analogy, I know.
I’m a teen female, by the way. But for a while I’ve identified as more androgynous. I haven’t expressed this feeling openly (my family isn’t really open-minded). I feel more confident wearing gender-neutral/transmasculine clothing. But put me in bright tops, and…I’d fucking faint […]
I just want to sleep and never wake up. I’m a single woman in my thirties with no significant relationships other than my parents. I’ve tried to have friends but things just don’t seem to work out. I have nothing to offer people anymore. I’m to depressed. I have no children to worry about either. I have no job. I have nothing. I’m planning on wrapping a few things up and writing a suicide note for my parents sake, then taking all of my pills tonight. No one knows, no one would even care anyway. Life means nothing anymore.
I’ve lost just about everything to depression. All my friends hate me because they don’t understand…I used to play the piano and violin and draw and paint and now…I just sit around waiting for nothing. My grades have dropped a lot too. I’m surprised I’m still alive though. I wrote a suicide note, I have the pills it takes, now it’s only a matter of time.
Bubbling Boiling , deep inside.
Waiting praying, to see the light.
Whispered nightmares, a tale within.
One bloodied mess, one last sin.
There’s only one way, to kill that cretin.
Death of it’s master, one way to be beaten.
Let it out, or make them pay.
A sacrifice surely, one i’ll not make.
For we like this realm, Him and I.
So I let him control, my rotted insides.
There’s only one note, I must recall.
I’m that daemon, Which hate’s it all.
He’s my king, as I for Him.
“One bloodied mess, our very last sin”
I have five more days. If I don’t complete the blood oath by then, i’ll lose everything. My wrists are going to […]
Hi there,
I spent the past 3 or 4 months feeling suicidal, I attempted 3 times, the last time being a month ago. I had to have my heart restarted and spent days in the hospital and days after that being seen by specialists. The thing is I was so certain I wanted to die and that if I didn’t succeed somehow I would try it again. I even put in my note that I would try it again and again until I succeeded. But something has changed, I can’t explain it, I don’t have suicidal urges anymore. I don’t even think about suicide… at least […]
This is just a quick note to wish everyone on SP well during the holidays. I realize this is one of the most difficult periods for many people here and it can be Hell having everyone else’s happiness and enjoyment thrown in your face for the better part of two weeks. Personally, I’m not too crazy about this time of year myself (even though things in my life are a little better than in previous years), but I suppose it is what it is.
Anyway, I hope everyone is able to make the best that they can out of the holidays.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
Coming on this site has made me realize how many of us around the world have stories that teach us we are not alone in the hurt and suffering. Maybe in some solemn sort of way we are all one note away from playing the same song. Perhaps this site shall be our choir and our songs shall live on…
I’m going to keep this short and sweet.
So I’m a freshman in college 6 hours away from my home town. About a week ago my sister tried to commit suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills.
I found out about this from her boyfriend, her best friend, and my mom. (I also found out from her best friend that she’s had drug abuse problems recently.) I was able to contact her because she didn’t have her cell phone, but the day after she called me from the hospital. The gist of what I told her was that she should never try anything like that again. First off […]
You know how this site was created so suicidal people can come together and help each other? Yeah, it’s not having that effect on me. It’s actually kinda making it worse. Maybe it’s just me. I don’t know. On a side note, how the hell do you delete your account??
I’ve been on this site a lot recently. I like it here, because it allows me to scream into the void of internet anonymity within a community of like-minded individuals who will essentially scream with me. If only our commonalities weren’t so awful, you know? If only this were a site for kitten enthusiasts or people with an overabundance of zest for life instead of, well, what it is.
I looked through some of the “My Suicide Note” posts, and it was surreal reading what people intended as their final words. It was even more surreal when they didn’t come back and say they’d failed their […]
It took 18 years to remember
You want five to forget
Forget about it.
I never thought I could survive to college. I never saw myself in a dorm. I never saw friends.
But I did. I didn’t live in a dorm. I rented a two-bedroom house with a fenced yard for my two adopted dogs. I went to class. It’s my fifth year in school, and yeah my past caught up to me, and yeah I had a few slip-ups, but I am going to graduate in May with honors- a GPA above 3.0.
So why?
Why do I want to die now?
Of all times, places, people, memories, why now?
I […]
This will be my third story on here. And probably my last. I’m done. I typed up my note on my computer and I have my pills with some water. I am going to do it tonight or tomorrow night. I’m sorry if you tried to help me. It’s almost funny. I walk down my hallway and see pictures of me when I was younger. You wouldn’t even imagine I would become this. This monster that cuts himself and cries everyday just because he is different. Someone who can only find closure in death. I really wish it didn’t have to be this way. I just can’t see a […]
I’m just so sick of being sad, the worse part is I can’t explain why I’m even sad… I wrote a note and it seemed like I was drunk and crazy at the same time, it makes sense in my head but I can’t get it out…. I find myself researching ways to end it that won’t upset people if they find me, why am I so worried still about pleasing people
I’m not sure of what else to write, so I’ll go with my favorite topic: Alex. I’m way more obsessed and in love with him than I should be. I only knew him exactly a week. I was in the hospital, he got there to wait for a bed in another place. It was pure dumb luck that we met.
Basically what happened between us it this: (sorry it’s long) he was introduced, I loved his southern accent, and I liked him a lot. I tried to keep him off my mind to work on treatment, but it just got harder and harder. On his […]
Almost two weeks ago, my almost ex-husband killed himself. We were going through a divorce, which he didn’t want. It had gotten ugly because he was using our son as an emotional tool to hurt me. Our son is 11.
A policeman came to my work, took my in my office and told me to sit down. The officer told me that his brother had found his body. I had to tell our son that his father was dead. Funny thing is, although I was so sick of him, I seem to be having a harder time with this than my son is. I’m so angry. […]
Let’s be friends, let’s talk and play and sing together. I don’t want to fight you. I already tried that, back when I was stressed and didn’t know that you actually came to help me, to pull me out of my shit. You’re my savior. Let’s learn how to live together, like siamese twins.
Joni Mitchell says “Blue, I love you” in her song Blue, which talk about acceptence and far from that, falling in love to the side which enslaves you. It’s not like you have much choice. If you are clinically depressed like me and want to experience life to the fullest before leaving […]
So this is my letter… I don’t know when exactly I’m going to do it, but hopefully by next spring. PLEASE help me proofread this! I want to make sure my relatives understand my decision and can go on without me. I’m 21.
Dear mom,
I know this will hurt you for as long as you live. I don’t know what to say to ease the pain I’m going to cause, but I know that ‘sorry’ changes little. Though I will tell you why I did this, I know you’ll still be overwhelmed, confused, and hurt. Everything that was going through my head before I did […]
“……all humans are united by a common conspiracy to preserve each one of our own individual lives.”…….—quoted from suicide note by Mitchell Heisman
Even Altuistic behaviours have been explained in terms of selfish gene sacrificing himself for sake of persons carrying very similar genes.
What if what we call moral / good is nothing but a lie…. humanity is a civilized jungle. and the rule of jungle is kill or die.
I didn’t do it, I never will hopefully.
While I do think that suicide should be a human right, I can safely say that unless I was unfortunate enough to be diagnosed with some
sort of horrible disease I don’t think I will ever kill myself.
🙂
Sorry for wasting the time of anyone who read the original post.
Peace and Love to you all.
🙂