My story with Alex(so far)

I’m not sure of what else to write, so I’ll go with my favorite topic: Alex. I’m way more obsessed and in love with him than I should be. I only knew him exactly a week. I was in the hospital, he got there to wait for a bed in another place. It was pure dumb luck that we met.
Basically what happened between us it this: (sorry it’s long) he was introduced, I loved his southern accent, and I liked him a lot. I tried to keep him off my mind to work on treatment, but it just got harder and harder. On his third day, Dylan(a mutual friend) asked me if I was gay or bi(I had told people of my on/off girlfriend) I didn’t think anything of it and answered: bi. During the same group, as we cleaned up, Alex gave me a note, asking me out. My heart just like… Exploded, I was so happy. Obviously, I said yes. He had all his contact info on it, including his phone number, Kik, and facebook. I only wrote the hospital number to him because I thought I’d be there a much longer time than I was. I get that that parts definatly my fault, and I regret it. We passed a few notes to eachother and one time, we got caught so both of our levels were dropped to 2. Because of this, Alex wasn’t allowed to go on pass for the weekend with his family. I can’t even count the number of times I said “I’m sorry” to him for that, but he tried to reassure me it was okay.
I lost the notes he wrote me, because I let them get flushed down the toilet(they fell in, they were in my back pocket) therefore destroying my only source of contact with him. He wrote me another note,(totaling in four that I would have gotten from him) but he got caught again, and only my level was dropped.
The day he left I was incredibly sad. I knew ahead of time, but I just wasn’t mentally prepared to let him go. I promised myself that I would hug him when he said goodbye, breaking the biggest rule in that place(no touching) but when the time came, there was just too much yelling and stress for me to go through with it.
After he left, he never called. My friends tried to reassure me he would or he wanted to, but I got really depressed. Since then, I’ve gotten discharges and spent hours trying to find him online. Were both 15, so I don’t expect to find much of anything. I’ve defiantly tried, though. I heard from a friend that he wrote me another note and gave it to Dylan since Dylan visits him. I’ve been trying to get dylans number from a girl in the program, but things have gotten a little complicated, and now my guardians don’t want me contacting people from the program.
But now I’m just stuck. Ive been writing Alex a ton of letters that I know I’ll never send. My friends joke about him but ever since I heard he wrote me a note, I’ve been very very hopeful to hear from him. I dot know what to do though. It’s been almost a month. Should I give up? Or keep waiting it out? Please help…