All I’ve been doing, for nearly twenty years, feels like it’s amounting to nothing. I feel like If I were to die tonight, I’d have lived life to the fullest. I’ll be 34 on Yule; I’m still pretty young as considered by some, but it’s like I have nothing else to experience, other than the things I’ve been doing for the past two decades since my emancipation. Does anyone else have this feeling?
Tag:
Nothing Left
YOU ask me what i need and WHAT I NEED IS YOU.
I know I cant have you, You tell me i cant have you, you’ve made up your mind. You tell me you love me, you tell me you will still be around but you tell me you’re leaving overseas.. HOW THE FUCK?
You tell me all these things but do you really mean it? Why would you challenge yourself trying to make it overseas when you have a challenge here trying to make this work, make us work and (what i was hoping) start a family. YOU and only you would throw this all […]
I want to die soon. I was born with Cerebral Palsy and suffered all the usual torment from other kids when I was growing up. I struggled to get a job but never gave up. I managed to live a fairly “normal” life. Girls were happy to ride in my boat or on my bike or get a lift in my car – but date? Never! I finally found a desperate woman and married, had two kids who she abused (along with abusing me) and eventually I left her. I had a good job, had respect, self-esteem and was happy to start again. Now at […]
After studying least painful suicide methods for many weeks now,  I came to conclusion that properly done partial suspension hanging is the least painful way out.  And I do have a proof.   This morning  I tried my noose that I made yesterday from strong leather belt with strong, large D-ring style buckle (one of those “Lewis” designs),  to “try and see the fit”.
I had the noose hanging from a staircase railing, put it around my neck. Â I lowered my knees and the very moment when I felt the noose closing tightly around my neck veins (without choking me), Â I realized that this would be “it”. Â My […]
Your just a snake in the grass I’m just a hunter set to destroy your world,hide all you want cause I’ll burn it all to the ground. Watch your tongue and the lies it spouts. When I’m done with you,there’ll be nothing left but your skin on my belt. You could never match me that’s why your in that hole while I stand above you, looking down with a smile on my face. Heh heh let’s make it rain! Step up so I can knock you back down This is what it sounds like…
When — you–die
Pick me up off the ground
Forgive me for what I’ve […]
I want to be sufficient. I want to do something that matters.
I hate money, and I hate having to need it. I’ve decided I don’t want to go back to school, and I’m OK with that choice. My family thinks I’m crazy, though. If I do go back to school, it won’t be for computer science, even though I have only a few credits left to get a degree.
I like things how I like them. I don’t want a career. I don’t want an occupation. I don’t want a suburban lifestyle.
I want something more self-sufficient. A plot of land somewhere so I can maybe start […]
I am a shell. I have been dealing with depression for about 4 years now, and it has eaten away at me till there is nothing left but the corporeal person you may meet, or not. I consider myself dead most of the time. I finally started to come to that realization after my girlfriend left me. We can call her Elizabeth. She was the one who initially saw that I needed help, real help. She convinced me to go out and seek medical treatment in any form. She wanted to stay with me and grow old together, but that required me to live to […]