There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Tag:
nothing
As I lay in bed questioning my own existence, I look threw the window and see nothing but something which was once familiar but now is not. I’ve lost myself. I’ve lost sight of any goals or aspirations I once had, I’ve lost sight of my happiness. I hold back the tears and feel my heart drop to my stomach as I am slowly coming to realization that I don’t belong.
I have been terribly sick for 8 years. For this I couldn’t finish my study. Its a complicated sickness. The worst is every time i hope this is gonna be fine i am back to zero. I have gone through several surgeries. It was painful. I thought if I try to have a better life , a normal life I may have one day. Now I am all alone here, no family, no friends . A guy loves me, we are married for more than two years but we can’t be together because of this goddam sickness. I wanted to leave all these and go […]
they knew i wasn’t happy
they knew i wanted to kill myself
they knew i need to leave this country
they just don’t care about you
they don’t
and now what
he crushed your dreams and left you alone.
everyone is busy with their life and dreams
you’re the one with nothing
why don’t you get it ?
you only have yourself in this hopeless world..
The day I attempted, I knew exactly what I wanted. I didn’t care who was hurt and who would be a complete mess if I actually did die. I wanted out. For weeks before I was under so much stress from my mother. Everything was always my fault. Everything. The night before I attempted, I stayed out til 4 am with my boyfriend having one of the best nights in my life. When I finally came home, with 1% on my phone battery, I was locked out. She locked me outside in the downpour thunderstorm, frozen cold.
I managed to get my phone one long enough to […]
I’m so fucking sick of this shit…every fucking day is filled with bullshit…my once saintly patience and ‘don’t sweat the small stuff attitude are long gone…ground down to nothing with having to deal with shitheads…spineless pieces of shit…petty fucking assholes and fucking idiots all day long everyday for what seems like an eternity. I would blow my head off now if it wasn’t for my daughter…2.5 years old…the thought of her being raised by her fucking stubborn-ass mother and her fucking retarded white trash family makes my skin crawl…everything I do is criticized and every imperfection magnified 100x…I am at the end of my rope…I […]
ha-ha! I’ve got tears in my eyes.
I’ve been laughing perpetually for the last 3-4 months. I can hear this crazed, deranged laughter in my mind whenever I start to think about the fact that I’m still alive. Nothing matters to me, and some deep down part of me finds it hilarious that I have to live without purpose (the same part of me that laughs when old people fall). I could inject some meaning into my life, but that’s the last thing I want. I don’t want anything to do, people to talk to, or anything really. Just silence, that’s all I care for.
I made […]
I’m falling apart.
My life is falling apart.
I have been so hopeful.
I’ve been trying so hard.
But I just keep receiving bad things.
Now I keep thinking bad things.
I just want to die.
I can’t do this anymore.
Life is too overwhelming.
I can’t get ahead.
I can’t catch a break.
I can’t do this anymore.
I can’t live like this anymore.
I want to die.
I need to.
Bye SP.
I just want the pain to end
For years I have prayed for a terminal illness, something to to take me away from here. I had a chance of happiness once and I blew that. Every decision I have ever made has been a wrong one.
I know there are some people out there that love me but honestly I feel nothing. It doesn’t give me anything. I think on many levels they would be a lot better off without me.
I look in envy of those people who have something terminal. I pass funerals and think they are the lucky ones.
I wake up and begin my day […]
its the anniversary of my birth and when i blew out the candles i wished for nothing more than death.
I stand alone in a world filled with nothing but hate.
i stand alone with my tears falling to the floor.
All i want is for someone to hear my cries and to go to a place filled with nothing but warmth this is my only wish.
I know I am nothing more then an empty hollow shell my soul is gone my heart is numb and I am invisible to the world.
I stand alone crying in a quiet place hopeing some one hears me.
I want to live but I am tired of fighting this world on my own.
I known that if I kill myself I […]
It always messes me up. Where is everyone gone? I feel I don’t know anyone, I look at them but there’s nothing, nothing at all. I don’t remember them yet I do, there are memories but no connections??? Idk this is hard to explain. I remember the day it started, it was a strange feeling of becoming infinitely lost in what was once so familiar.
im basically word vomiting at this point so if this post jumps around a lot please bare with me.
ive been in a pretty big slump and i cant seem to get out, all i can think about is dying and what it would be like to die, and what people are going to think when i die, and what happens after i die. i made several plans to commit suicide and i just cant push myself to do it, im such a lazy piece of shit. i thought that maybe if i go back to school ill enjoy senior year so much that ill hang […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m so sick of not being able to go through with it! I can’t stand this pain anymore. I’m going insane and if and when I manage to get pain meds I’m not responsible. I just don’t want to feel anything. But that doesn’t last long and most of the month I’m left with nothing and screaming my head off! No one will help me. Government won’t help me, doctors won’t help me, E.R. won’t help me. I have legitimate reasons to have pain meds. I was born this way, I didn’t do it to myself. I just want to die!
I have nothing and no […]
Nobody knows what kind of hell i live in! People think im happy and ok… But im not! And so long as im in this hell… I will never be ok. Im sick and tired of crying… I just want it all to stop. I cant take anymore…
Nothing will change… No matter how hard i hope… No matter what i do… Nothing changes. And i cant take this anymore!!!!!
years on this bitter, sour soil has taught me x amount of useless information.
1). Some hugs feel like thorns.
2). Most breaths are filled with poison.
It’s a pretty shitty thing to think about the way you want to die, and the need to die and the awful way you joke about it to yr friends, making it seem like a fuhkd up joke but in reality you’re asking for help. They know you’re sick. You know you’re sick. Your therapist knows your sick. Also, do your parents. But no matter how much you fight it seems static and thick. It stays. Unmoving. Instead of getting […]
I’m feeling sad again tonight, but then again that’s nothing new.
Not that I think of suicide. Its just that part of life where nothing excites me. I feel no enthusiasm for anything that i can do. Tell me if this feeling is normal so i can keep my sanity in check.
18 here
It’s a bit hard for me to put so much pain into words. But I’ll do the best I can to explain it.
I am not a strong person. I was never a strong person. And by many accounts, I have no right to complain about my lot in life. I’ve traveled to many places, never been physically abused, and I’ve had many things provided for me. I have a roof over my head, and a pantry full of food. My own bedroom to hide away and enough toys to drown my boredom. The simple distractions may work for a time but when you stop feeling, nothing […]