Well, they wanted to throw me into the bin. Can’t blame ’em. I think it’s in the psycho protocol that when a patient tells you he’s gonna do this three days from now, you’ve got to report him. Of course, I was talking bullshit. I know nothing will happen on Wednesday. It will be like any other day, at least, on the surface. No one in my house will overdose on pinkies on Wednesday. Only on fucking blues.
Hi i feal really bad i think i need to die my mom call s me names when i was younger she punched me a lot now i am 16 and she tells me that i am nothing that i am as my dad . I cry a lot because i think if i die i will not see my causines to grow up or will make my grand parents sad . I balive that there is someting to live for but i can not live because hering so much bad stuff hurts me a lot i think the only thing is to jup under […]
Hello, I first want to say I hope everyone is having a good day. I suppose mine would be a bit better if you all in the SP community could clear something up for me if you would. I have seen that you all wish to attack a certain member on here called Squid. And I do not wish to start anything by this post and I am sure you all will start in with your reasons of why he is indeed a Pedophile. I only wish to truly understand with clear evidence what is causing this to be said and nothing more. I do […]
After he left me, I turned upside down. I thought sleeping with guys would help me forget him, maybe i actually thought the guy i was with would actually love me, but that was all a joke. It would never be love, it was all lust. That’s all it is now adays is lust, maybe for a second i honestly thought i had feelings for these guys. Now, sex isn’t pleasurable.. i just want it to be done with when i have it. Maybe i thought i could honestly numb out the feelings for him with other guys, because alcohol wasn’t working with me, smoking […]
Ebola coming to a town near you soon, just give it time. We will all die from it. It’s worse than they are reporting. FEMA didn’t pile up coffins for nothing. Don’t worry about suicide,,,,,,,, death is just around the corner.
I thought that given the nature of some posts I’ve read recently, that I should share with y’all my scars. These pictures were taken today, October 7th, the cuts were made on August 19/20. They are still very bright, very noticeable and often very sensitive. For a time, the sub stitches, non-dissolvable, were getting rejected by my body and were pushed up through the semi-healed wounds. I kept having to take cuticle scissors and cut the threads down in the hopes that I would be able to unravel the knots and pull the nylon out. I think I got a few out, but the rest […]
I posted about an hour ago a post named something like “maybe we already are living in the afterlife and got doomed to hell” and it got deleted. There was nothing in the content. Anybody know why it got deleted?
I know there are a few people who would miss me for a time, but in all honesty I’m not really apart of any ones life enough to warrant prolonged grief, I can imagine what it would be like for a little while people would ask where I am and someone would say “he killed himself” and they’d say “that’s so horrible he seemed so nice” and then they would change topic because they realise that they didn’t really know me, so few seem to.
Not that long ago my friend’s girlfriend was going on about what good friends we were and how she had […]
This is my middle part of the story of how I started being suicidal….
So, After A few years, like.. about more years? Yeah. Well, I was ten and I started listening to new metal.. like Pierce The Veil (PTV), Sleeping With Sirens (SWS), Blood On The Dance Floor (BOTDF), Falling In Reverse (FIR) And Etc.
Yeah, and well the only reason why I was listening to that kind of music was because I got tortured by everyone around me… Even the people I loved…… My sister, My mom, My dad, And Even my “Friends”.. When I realized they never loved […]
I’ve been through it all. The medications. The Treatments. The therapy. At some point everything became blank. After I visited my father, who criticized me down to the last bit until I realised, I am nothing. I failed at all my suicide attempts. They said everyone who survived an attempt is always greatful. I wonder, when did it all go wrong. For as long as I remember, I was just…never real. We are all not real. I tried my best to always do what my parents wanted. I just wasn’t smart enough. I tried to be the best. But I’m nothing. My existence is a […]
So today was (…)
This year.. This year I can’t say I wished for a lovely husband, or for a perfect GPA, or to be a good cook or to have a pleasant job or whatever.. This year I wished I’d die,, That’s what I wished for.. Success is nothing when you’re alone.. And I figured I might be alone for a long long time.. That’s why God made me the only girl.., and it wasn’t just me so that my parents will have no one but me and they’ll be obliged to spend more time with me and by that I wont be alone.. […]
sad enough to want death but not crazy enough to actually do it. Anybody else simply sitting in their boat and waiting for a tsunami to end it all? I’m feeling extra sad today, not sure why. I’m trying really, really hard to upgrade my job skills but whenever I sit down to study, I end up doing something else until I quit and trick myself into believing that I’ll get started tomorrow instead (been saying that since February).
I’m here, ready to study this IT junk, but once I get started, I lose all energy and desire to better myself. I pull the rug out […]
48 years old, virgin, never dated, tired of my life. I keep being told it’s up to me to change it, but since it never changes, clearly I don’t do anything to change it. Get depressed reading old posts of mine on internet from five, ten years ago, nothing changed in my life. I just don’t see the point in keeping on. Advice, go out more, exercise, join clubs, for what? I tried, nothing happened, okay got to keep trying, for what? More nothingness? I can’t stand myself, I don’t believe I can change my life for the […]
So there’s this woman I *REALLY* like. We have a ton of things in common, too. It only sucks that I met her a month and a half ago. I feel like I’ve been there through her entire life — I wish I had been there though her life. It would make how I feel about her a bit more rational.
Ugh, I feel weird about liking her. I as I said, it’s only been a month since I met her. I saw this picture of her, and I swear to the gods above it was love at first sight for me. I wanted to know […]
Well, here I am in the middle of the night again after another typically fruitless, frustrating day. I struggle to get scraps of work in the only two vocations I have…commercial graphics and photography. Clients have simply disappeared despite my best efforts. What I don’t get is that my stuff pisses all over most of the material I see and I can’t get anyone to hire me at a wage any better than that of a janitor…or they want a degree, screw my experience. And the people who know NOTHING about my business are the first to offer “advice.” Ridiculous, insulting and just puts me […]
For those that read my previous post, you know that I’ve worked 30 health care as a respiratory therapist and paramedic. My username reflects the motto of a paramedic and the job I dedicated to do.
During that time, I’ve seen many times where lives were not saved but extended. People uncomfortable in pain sad and miserable is there to variety of tubes and machines. Often times lying in their own feces or urine with open wounds draining the most terrible smelling fluids.
Often times these patients were getting good care but you can’t stand over a patient 24 hours a day 7 days a week and […]
If I know that I am probably sick and I have a condition that needs to be addressed yet I do nothing about it and die, is that suicide?
For the past seven years I have been struggling to get through the day, and I simply cannot do it anymore. With every breath that I take, I am ruining the lives of those that are around me because I am nothing more than a burden. I am a disgrace to the human race. I am a monster. I hurt those that are around me, and I ruin everything that I touch. I am a failure in every sense of the word, and nothing I ever do will ever be good enough for anyone. I have been nothing but […]
I felt dirty so I went to take a shower. Took off my clothes and waited for the water to warm up. As I entered the shower within a few minutes I entered the land of thoughts and memories. Sinking in those purifying water, I couldn’t straighten my thoughts to be less unholy. I thought, then I thought and thought again. Is soon, well, soon?
Before that, I was out. There was a couple there, married. Seemed happy. They have two kids and a house in the suburbs. I don’t know them. I only talked to them about nothing important. But I was talking to myself, questioning how does […]
cancelled my therapist appt today
then again, it probably wouldn’t have helped anyway
nothing will.
here’s a good song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YE0L9EQAHk
“well my best friend took a bullet through his eye
first he had a patch, now he’s got a glass eye
one hard… glass eye
he says sometimes,
he wishes both his eyes were glass”