I don’t know why they have to be so damn mean.
I’m 40 years old. It shouldn’t feel like high school at work. They say to get my shit straight so I can work full time again. I am trying my hardest. I’m sorry I’m not as “perfect” as you
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old
i wanna die now! i have nobody, no body to listen to me, i dont even know how to talk about my feelings anymore. i dont know why i keep coming to these sites, its all soooo…. artificial. so mechanical, so impersonal, so dehumanizing…. and yet its all i have. unless tonights the night. my moms dying of cancer, she’ll be gone soon, i cant do that to her, not until shes gone…
but once shes passed away ill be free…. free to end my misery, free to leave this place. dont tell me to be strong, i’m stronger than most, my great strength is whats […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I am mad! Mad at my depression that interrupted my life, caused heartache and hurts. Separated me from my family for my emotional safety. I am mad at the counseling I had that went no where because I didn’t understand my emotional state of mind, 20 years later!
Over the years I had counseling, but they said counseling wasn’t about dredging up your past, it’s about moving forward! But if the unresolved thoughts and feelings aren’t examined, it IS what I needed/need.
I tell you I am also mad about how many people are affected this way- family of origin does harm and leaves the child to heal […]
Does anyone else remember when they were about three years old and you would say “no, I don’t need that, I’m a big girl/boy”? I do. What made being “a big girl/boy” so desirable? It’s kind of weird thinking about myself as a child, how innocent and pure I was back then. I never would’ve guessed myself to be nearing the end of my teenage years and already wanting to end it, which doesn’t really surprise me to be honest, I hardly ever finish anything I start. It’s just so crazy to think, when I was a child I wanted to grow up, be a […]
Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss [her] in the weeping of rain;
I want [her] at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year’s bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go, — so with [her] memory they brim.
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, “There is no memory of [her] here!”
And so stand stricken, so remembering [her].
-Edna St. […]
Hey, sorry its been a while since I last posted on here It’s been busy over on my end with the holidays, work, and finishing the college transfer process….
I start at my new college on Monday I’m double majoring in Broadcasting and Art Therapy. I loved my old college but with what happened my freshman year even if I remained there I would never move up and be happy in what I want to do. I truly hope the friends I made there will understand why.
So pretty much I am starting off with a clean slate and a new chapter. Its kind of funny cause […]
I am a 37 year old male. I’ve had major depression since I was 13. Effexor is no longer working, and I do not see the point in continuing to increase the dose. It worked for a while, limiting very frequent thoughts of suicide to less frequent thoughts of suicide. I’ve never tried to kill myself, because I don’t want to hurt people who love me. Living for the past 24 years is like doing the dishes all the time. I perceive life as a complete waste of time and effort. Pop culture’s advertisement of life is unrealistic and even more boring than my life. […]
I’m a 21 year old guy from The Netherlands.
Im just comming here as a last resort, i just dont know where else to go..
Anyway here is my story:
Im depressed since my puberty started when i was like 12 or something and i been unhappy ever since.
I tryed to commit suicide 2 both time using different kind of drugs mostly benzos and alcohol (im not advocating this methode!) both times i woke up the next day in a wet bed, just because i was so out i just peed myself :\
I been in a mental hospital twice now one time it […]
Hi I’m a little afraid to do this but here it goes.
My name is destine. Lately I’ve been depressed. I think it’s just everything . that’s been going on. I don’t live with my mom and dad. My mom passed a way tho. I lost contact with most of my friends and my family. Because my aunt and uncle. They adopted us. They would be really mean. Put me and down. And a lot of other things to me and my little brother. I’ve missed my old life with my mom still alive and everything.
ive been lost not knowing what to do. I’ve cut before […]
I think I’m poison. I made it through the holidays through sheer will and maybe some kind of grace. But now…it’s a new year and so, yeah…what now, right? I’m just breathing and I even forget to do that sometimes. It’s like I’m waiting on something. Holding my breath. Expectant. And I guess that is kind of hope, right? So there is that. And there is my kid. Who is…well, everything. But then there is all of the other stuff which is big and small and there’s me who messes up and I have honestly begun to think maybe I am poison.
All my life I […]
I think we all have a common trend of abuse… physical… sexual.. I don’t want to die it would hurt the one person that really cared but was too afraid to let me know. I think we all have that person… My bf died in 2011 as I was a senior. Woke up and he was dead. I’m ok now just feel alone and sometimes think about how lucky he is to be above the clouds.. free.. one day when it’s my turn to go but not yet. He was raped at 6 years old and only told me 4days before he took his last […]
To enable the act of someone taking their own life…is simply the most beautyful act a person can have…it is something truly personal….and I would myself die…just to enable this right to all people…
Truly….
If this society is to go further into the modern age…it most have such qualities…as the right to take ones own life…
If this right is not come to a society that claims to be modern…then it is simply not truly a high nor evolved nor modern society…..
It is a society stuck in the old superstitious ages…where one belives in punishment for such…that truly is the worst crime ever….
Truly….
A FREE SOCIETY ALLOWS SUICIDE…AND […]
Has anybody seen the movie Winter’s Tale? I just watched it last night and I’m halfway through watching it again right now. For some reason, watching that movie makes me stop wanting to die and all of my desires disappear until the only thing I really want is true love, fairytale style.
Sappy, I know, especially for a 16 year old guy, but I can’t help what I hope for. And for once, I actually don’t mind hoping for love.
She stands at the edge of the precipice,
looking down towards her future.
The last tears that she will ever cry,
falling from her eyes,
then falling into oblivion.
She watches them drop
as they disappear forever.
Yet, she laughs in the face of death.
Would it really matter if she took the leap?
She has been forgotten by tomorrow.
The wind blowing at her back,
pushes her to the edge.
Almost agreeing with her final decision,
and encouraging her to jump.
A thousand thoughts and memories
racing through her mind.
Her first day of school.
Her tenth birthday party.
The lonely, awkward days of her teenage years.
With the new year fast approaching I thought it might be interesting to engage in a little fantasizing. A bit of a fantasy never hurts now and then and it can sometimes tell us where we are grounded and where we are not. So here goes. Just answer the question in a million words or less…
If you were approached by the devil and offered a price to sell your soul into eternal damnation, what would you want in return?
To offer some food for thought, I was contemplating something like this: Being returned to the year 1969, with a 20 year old body, one billion pounds […]
What’s the stat? 50% of happy blushing couples end up in bitter divorce, right?
So…there’s prospects of a divorce, finally. For my parents. After 15 miserable years. She becomes increasingly self-absorbed, clingy, needy, sensitive. He becomes withdrawn, detached, bitter. He falls in love with another local woman, bubbly, blonde, a book-lover, confident, independent. I half-guessed that my dad was swirling around with someone else. It was inevitable.
It was wrong, yes, but I can’t blame him. My mother isn’t easy to live with. Actually, it’s pure hell. Don’t get me wrong, I do love her – many good traits, etc – but my mom and my dad […]
Another beautiful evening in my family. As usual, my dad threatens to kill himself, and my mother says he can do it, because she can’t take it anymore. After that, he turns violent and starts smashing things… It’s a mystery to me how he managed to smash so many things in so little time… Tonight is different though… He’s serious about commiting suicide… And quite frankly, I don’t give a flying fuck anymore… Go and hang yourself, you pathetic drunk asshole… Old violent and manipulative ************… He wanted my mom to have an abortion when she was pregnant with me, then, he rejected me as […]
33 yrs old, lost my baby, parent disowned me just becuz i decided to move out at 31, 3 failed engagements, and just when i thought i found the one that i could trust. i let him in and told him my story, he pushed me to therapy, but yet he said it didnt work, i gave up on it after 4 sessions. and now he just left me. he cant stand me being suicidal. hes so scared he rather not be around me. i should have stayed quite. im alone again
I turned 25 Monday. I feel old. days with my boyfriend go up and down the arguments got bad then I finally stood up for myself and he realized he was close to losing me. I can’t lose him again I just can’t. but the craving for death is always here.. yes I know this made no sense. ps wanted to apologize for never posting my life story, I still keep putting it off