Haha it’s one of those nights again
Haha I can’t be the only one who feels this shit, right?
Posting drunk when I’m honestly sober
But I feel like last years tequila finally went to my head
I’m running through the parking lot screaming
My boss is parked right here
Slashing those tires, and I cut my hand
Suddenly my wrists are bleeding out
Haha I actually love my job, you know?
Haha my blood turns his white truck brown
Eyes wide enough to open the door
My smile returns and no one will know
Twitching on the bus as I wanna die on the […]
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One Of Those Nights
It’s one of those nights when I feel so alone. There’s a hole in my stomach that holds a faint physical pain and a tremendous emotional one. It’s as if I died right this second I’d be okay with that and not a single person would miss me. I want to cut myself to sleep, and if I never wake up that’s all the better. I haven’t wanted to kill myself in months, but right now… I forgot how bad it felt, honestly. My minds racing and it’s focusing on all the stupid crap I’ve done, I want to cut so bad, but my dad’s […]
Tonight is another one of those nights that I just really want to end my pain. It doesn’t help that it is gross outside… like gray and cold and shit. I am always affected by the weather… probably have that SAD Seasonal Affective Disorder thing.
I tried pulling myself out, by attempting to pretend that i am taking care of myself. I even bought groceries today, and I am chronic meal skipper. I got a haircut too, and I still feel the same. It is like I am trying to force myself to feel better, convince myself I am not a screw-up. Even though I know […]
I had a dream on Wednesday, well more of a nightmare. I used to have that nightmare ever since I was very young. It was about voices. I never knew what they said, but their tone of voice was angered, even disappointed. They hate me, and I asked them why, but then on Wednesday night, after everyone slept, I laid in bed. I heard a long continuous beep and then the nightmare began.
Only, I hadn’t fallen asleep…
Those voices, which may as well be a replay of my dreams all the events that happened in that dream, every one of those nights replayed in my […]