People know I am in pain but they don’t care to help me. They just pretend nothing is wrong. I feel invisible. Cutting seems the only way to ease the pain. Attempting it has been on my mind for years. My parents don’t give a damn about me. They don’t seem to care. I look out the window as we drove down the road and wondered what if that was me. On the side there they lay. Upon them they have others eating and nipping at them. I wish it was me laying on the side of the road. Wish they could change places with […]
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pain
Laying here, covered in sweat and tears
Bodies still heaving
Complete yet broken to pieces.
So close to another, but eons apart.
Wanting to be held,
But the pain is too much
Staying here, covered in blood
Body shaking
Falling to pieces, but finally whole
All alone, but one with the universe
Wanting to be held,
but the pain is enough
This poem is kind of the same as last time except it’s more “in the moment” if anything. hope you enjoyed
I’m the girl chasing a dream
but underneath my human skin, i’m a monster
creating visions that are not to be seen
and spilling blood that’s not meant to be cleaned
I terrorize throughout the night
Tearing through their flesh and bone
and as i look for more victims to take,
i realize, I’ve been turned into stone
a stone cold killer, i guess you could say
but that still doesn’t make the pain go away
with every scream ringing in my ear
I continue hold them […]
I was so careful with the measurements. Yet I still woke up this morning only to a hell of a stomach ache and spewing everywhere. I thought for sure I would be done peace at last, no pressures too tug at me all day long. Just bliss and as I sat there knowing full well what I had done I grew with joy. I hugged my mom and my sister hell I even talked about cars with my step dad who I loathe. In those moments I was happy only too wake up the next day knowing my curse is still not over. Like […]
My mother is a complete psycho ***** that hates me to the extent of why I wonder I haven’t blown my brains out a lot if times I wonder if I’m even her son or something else to her like property and my dad is a wanna be thug who TRIES to relate to me when he was NEVER there for me and suddenly thinks that he can come back and think I will have no hard feelings towards him my grandparents think I mess everything up maybe it’s true I pretty much have nobody all of my friends I’ve made are on Xbox and […]
To go, what a pleasent idea. I have no sorrow, no pain, no blame…I think of nothing and no one…I don’t have goodbyes to make. I have no negative thoughts, fears…I just think of leaving this place simply because I’m just about done.
Is it selfish to want the agony of what you feel everyday too stop
Is it selfish too want peace and rest in a world that has greedily taken everything you have ever wanted
We are not selfish we don’t want to leave our loved ones, but every day I see no end too the pain,the suffering,the hopelessness.
We are not selfish, we are the victims of the cancer people call life. And as the days go by I die both physically and emotionally. Until one day I know I will break.
She sings a song from the start,
Lalala comes from the heart.
The pain and sorrow will not leave,
and she will not be able to believe.
She sits alone under a tree,
where no one can hear her misbelieve.
She hopes there is a reason for all,
as she slowly begins to fall.
As she falls the end will start,
Lalala leaves from the heart.
I just can’t do this. I keep trying and trying to just BEAR IT but I can’t.
I can’t bear it. Is this really what’s going to finish me off? THIS is going to be the reason my life ends? Over someone who doesn’t love me? That is one of the stupidest, most childish and facile things I have ever heard and yet it’s my life, it’s happening to me, I never thought in all these years struggling to stay alive with my disorder, praying sometimes I’d wake up in the morning, the loneliness, the money, jobs and time (so much time) all lost, the defeats […]
all i want to do now is hurt myself more
or maybe just kill myself now
because i have done it and its bad
i dont know anything anymore
i dont know how to feel anymore
but at the same time i feel this great pain
and i dont know how to make it go away
i just want it to all stop but it cant
so maybe i will just hurt myself more
ill just keep making myself bleed
until one day i take it too far and bleed to my death
then maybe the pain will go away
who knows.
How can one person feel so much pain? Â Why is it that others can be at peace, but some of us are afflicted with this never-ending turmoil? All I feel for all these decades is pain, so much pain. Â When will the pain and suffering end??
I think I might try in a couple days…
It’s earlier than I expected but I can’t handle this anymore…
Goodbye everyone… I hope you just follow your hearts…
~E
From such a young age I have experienced so much pain. Age of 8 the most dear person in the world passed away, my granddad, the only person in the world who loved me more than my parents. Age 10 turned to smoking as a pain reliever and have been addicted ever since. Age 11 got moved half way around the world to a place I had no knowledge of, came back to UK a year later for holiday only to find out my dad has another wife and a child with her who was 4 years of age at the time, having committed bigamy. […]
There were hands everywhere, so many hands grabbing at me, greedy hands, get off of me, greedy hands, lights flashing, clicking, blurry vision, light, dark, chatter, noise, I’m so confused, I’m so cold, I’m so sad…..
I have drifted into something, somewhere I don’t understand, something I never meant for….
I’ve been born?
Oh God, no.
Oh no, God.
I’ve been born.
It’s the worst day of my life.
This is the first day of my time in hell.
Worst day, first day…for without a first day, there could be no second day, no third day, no 11,322th day…..
Oh what have I done to be cursed like this! Wretched little body. Wretched little room.  Wretched little world.
“In that place there will […]
now i know he’s a terrible person, or has a severe mental illness. i can’t decide. and i can’t decide which one is worse. he doesn’t care that he is preventing my from graduating. he doesn’t care. he doesn’t care about how terrible he is. I’m selfish? yeah i guess. does he not see how effing selfish he is?! and cruel?! omg. i explained everything in plain english, and nothing. he just keeps saying he hates me and he’s canceling his phone. HE HATES ME?! I HATE ME! I HATE ME BECAUSE IM NOT WORTH DIRT TO HIM. there is no getting through to him […]
HOW FUCKING STUPID AM I?! I MUST BE PRETTY FUCKING STUPID! IM SO STUPID! WELL FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FOR GETTING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT AGAIN. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. IVE MADE THE DECISION IF IM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE NONE OF THAT SHIT IS HAPPENING. NONE OF IT. HOW FUCKING STUPID AM I. JUST STRUNG ALONG AND DISPOSED OF. I SAID ALL THAT SHIT WAS SO VULNERABLE AND MEANT IT. AND YOU ATE ALL THAT SHIT UP. THEN WHEN THE MOMENT PASSES, ITS FORGET IT. FUCK YOU. I AM WORTH SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN THIS SHIT. MY LOVE MY […]
.. but nothing more than an artificial light.
I can’t seem to be able to express myself properly much anymore. Nor can I express this pain that is so deeply imbedded in my heart and my soul, from there on it has hurt my body badly, and this goes on, and on, in a perpetual cycle. The sun has gone for so long. My spirit has gone for so long. I am debilitated by the relentless pain I continue to carry. It has been 6 months, and in these 6 months I have only learned of more and more that has hurt me so much until […]
The  weird curiosity of what would happen if I kept on living or simply shoot myself struggled within me until today.
I have been an observer for quite some time and I would like to share how depression influenced me into the right path.
At the age of 14 depression began showing signs.
I started smoking weed, having sex, drinking and cutting myself. I did what I thought would be best to numb an utterly terrifying feeling of hopelessness and emptiness. I was a lost introvert desperately trying to keep my head up but dove in instead.
High school was a living hell. I would feel miserable as if […]
One thing I would love, to make everything easier, would be if everyone forgot I existed.
Because then I could die without causing anyone pain.
-Mention one thing you would want to  make everything “easier”.
I lost my father to suicide and harbor no harsh feelings toward him for what he did. He was in pain, depressed, unable to break away from alcohol and drug addiction and the worst part to him was the IRS said he owed $50,000 in back taxes and he had no idea why. Turns out after his death the IRS informed us he really didn’t owe anything, in fact, they owed him! A sickening feeling that was. The IRS was the first mention in his suicide note. They killed my father just as much as he killed himself…but I digress…Now I stand in his place, […]